Patrick Heisenberg

Heisenberg was born in the wealthy township of Ipswich, Queensland. From this richly cultural locality he flourished as a cynical, sneering critic of most ventures, policies and regimens that were forced upon him. Not content with simply pointing out ‘the alarming wrongs’ he found with things he deemed crucial to the evolution of mankind (namely our newfound and nation-wide deficiency in cricket, a lack of identity regarding what constituted ‘Australian’ food and the appalling narcissism that has crippled society in a post-Facebook ™ world) he began jotting down lists of things he hated and things he felt could be done better. Over time he found that he rather enjoyed immersing himself within this sea of negativity, to the point where he caught the eye of global cynic Theydon Bois after Heisenberg posted a particularly futile and rambling rant to their work-team’s inbox. Kindred spirits, they are now compiling endless amounts of lists and drivel as to what plagues society, mankind, the economy and cricketing sides, all without a skerrick of irony, but with an undeniable veneer of self-righteousness and a complete lack of willingness to opine any resolutions to the problems they identify. Heisenberg lives by the self-built motto ‘I’d rather be right than happy’, an ideology he sticks to religiously to this very day.