Tonight sees the ultimate who cares sporting fixture in the sporting world – the third v fourth playoff in the World Cup – and although it is usually an entertaining contest and relief after some tense semi finals, it is also a reasonably worthless event.
England and Belgium get the privilege of determining who is third best at this World Cup, because that is so much better than finishing fourth, but do they even care. Do the fans? Do the general sporting public? Maybe because you can still bet on it and what else are you going to do at 4am on a Sunday morning. Watch the third v fourth playoff of course.
Our Magnificent Seven sporting lists return to determine the seven most worthless sporting events.
FOOTBALL WORLD CUP THIRD v FOURTH PLAYOFF
Previously discussed a little, but there’s nothing like being knocked out of the World Cup at the semi finals, often in heartbreaking circumstances, and then having to front up a few days later to play in the third v fourth playoff.
It can be entertaining, and features most of the players that weren’t quite good enough to play thus far. The only hope is that the golden boot is still to play for to see some goals.
But ultimately, it is a who cares game.
This also applies to any other sports which has a Plate, Shield, Trophy playoff for anything other than first and second. See also Bronze medal playoffs – give them both one and move on.
ANY SPORTING CLOSING CEREMONY
By the time a sporting event is over, and if it is anything like the World Cup or Olympics it has been a tiring experience bringing yourself to the point of exhaustion.
So after all that effort does anyone really cares about a winding down celebration with singing and dancing and parading.
Probably not.
ANY OPENING CEREMONY THAT IS NOT THE OLYMPICS
The Olympic opening ceremony is a long drawn out affair, but that is what it is. Especially when every single athlete wanders out for a wave.
But it is the benchmark of opening ceremonies, and anything is simply second rate, and usually a significant increase of amateur hour. Hence, a worthless sporting event.
The Olympics needs a big flashy opening ceremony, as most of the other sports that have a big world tournament have games that people actually care about.
INTERNATIONAL RULES
Neither AFL or Gaelic Football, a game devised so AFL can come up with the only downside they have against their major winter code in rugby league.
Often remembered for some of Brendan Fevola’s fine off field work, or the occasional brawls that mar the on field action.
Sums it up really.
DAVIS CUP DEAD RUBBERS
Even the Davis Cup recognises that their dead rubbers are reasonably worthless games by making them the best of three sets and not the usual five.
Suggestions that the entire Davis Cup is worthless is unfair and hurtful.
It is the only time you’ll get to see Kyrgios and Tomic on the court at the same time.
FOOTBALL INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES
Simply a way for the governing bodies to make money, these games are constant interruptions to the weekly football we all enjoy.
If the football interruptions are for World Cup or Continental qualifying then fair enough, but meaningless friendlies, pffft.
THE CHECKATRADE TROPHY / LEAGUE CUP
Few people know anywhere other than England but their Football League used to have a trophy for just the third and fourth divisions, a great way for them to get a taste of Wembley among themselves.
Instead of being fodder for the 3rd and sometimes 4th round of the FA Cup, the third and fourth division teams get to be big man on campus for one competition.
Until the FA ruined it.
To jazz it up they invited academy sides from the EPL and Championship to join the competition and it was then split into regional groups. It has been so unpopular that is breaking attendance records, and is generally unpopular. Give it back to the third and fourth divisions where it belongs. Happily they are the only teams that win it anyway.
The League Cup is almost as worthless. A competition which no team takes seriously as they field players that will not get a look in for the rest of the season. Not even the second division teams care as they send out squads with average ages of 20 and below.
THE RUGBY WORLD CUP?
