Welcome to the Who Cares Guide to Russia v Saudi Arabia Group A Action. The Gurgler’s quick and easy guide for the big opening match of the 2018 World Cup in Russia.
We’ve gone to the minimal of effort, so you can go to even less to keep up to date.
Sure you can go to many, far better websites, blogs, and endless TV shows of varying quality, but none will attempt to put it in the style you want. As little effort as possible.
We’ll throw in some barely interesting stats that you can roll off at work, home, or even on public transport until the look that the stranger is giving you looks like more restraining order than nod of casual interest.
Conveniently, due to our own apathy, you can come here for both the preview and review.
So onwards then, to the Group A fixture of Russia v Saudi Arabia.
A WHO CARES RUSSIA v SAUDI ARABIA WORLD CUP REVIEW
The host nations shocked the football world, and probably themselves by destroying Saudi Arabia on the opening day of the 2018 World Cup 5-0. Perhaps it won’t be such a bad World Cup for the home nation after all.
As with our preview, here is the Who Cares review of the game. Giving you the most information about the game quickly, and conveniently, so you can impress family and friend.
THE RESULT
RUSSIA 5
Gazinskiy (12′ minutes), Cheryshev (43′ minutes, 90’+1 minutes), Dzyuba (71′ minutes), Golovin (90’+4 minutes)
SAUDI ARABIA 0
WAS IT WORTH THE LACK OF SLEEP?
GAME RATING 7/10
Sure, it wasn’t the highest quality match, but there were certainly enough goals to keep it interesting, some of them showing great skill. And it was entertaining enough.
If you got up just for the game and avoided the awful entertainment beforehand. Opening ceremonies are really sports biggest waste of money. Aside from Closing ceremonies that is.
SO, WHAT HAPPENED?
An nervous start from both sides, and it looked more A League than Group A early, but that was broken when Golovin delivered the perfect cross to Gazinskiy at the far post, who was unmarked with another Russian player, despite a Saudi defender pointing this out to team mates.
The Saudi defence has reasonably hapless throughout, and it led to the second goal to Cheryshev, who had recently came on as a sub after injury to Dzagoev, providing the first heartbreak moment of the World Cup.
The second half meandered on, as Saudi continued having more possession, but dong bugger all with it. Some of the errors were basic, and they certainly looked like the lowest ranked team at this year’s World Cup. They ended up with 61% possession, but 6 shots, all off target, and realistically never looked like scoring.
More pain was inflicted in the 71st minutes as another sub – Dzyuba – scored not long after entering the game. 3-0 down and the Saudis were done and dusted. But not Russia.
Adding a cup more salt to the wounds, the home nation hit two goals in injury time, both of high quality as they started their hosting duties in the best possible way. Cheryshev’s second was a masterful chip over the goalkeeper with the outside of the boot, and Golovin polished off his fine day with a very well taken free kick.
WHAT DID WE LEARN?
Maybe it was the big occasion, pride for the country, or a glowering Putin watching, but Russia certainly stepped up, and perhaps all the doom that was spread pre World Cup.
Saudi Arabia were poor, and it does not bode well for the Asian teams.
TURNING POINT?
The goal just before half time hurt the Saudi team. They looked unlikely to score a goal, let alone multiple.
WHERE TO FROM HERE?
For Russia they can stride through Group A with new found confidence, and could even trouble group favoruites Uruguay on that performance.
For Saudi Arabia, there may be pain to come, as Russia were the weakest team they had to play. With their defensive issues, the looming match against Uruguay featuring Cavani and Suarez could see a big score posted.
MOMENT OF JOY?
Probably the third goal, as Russia looked to have sealed a first up win.
THE TEARJERKER MOMENT
The first serious injury at the World Cup as Dzagoev did a hamstring.
THE STAR
Aleksandr Golovin
Anyone who caught the preview at The Roar or our tremendous Greatest Show on Earth Podcast will know that we offered up this young Russian as our player to watch, and boy did he deliver.
2 assists, 1 cracking free kick right on full time, and was industrious throughout. Talk was he was going to use the World Cup as a shopping window for himself. Might need a deli style ticket system if he keeps it up. We just wished we kept him in our Fantasy side.
OTHER BITS AND PIECES + FUN AND GAMES
The play banter between Putin and his Saudi counterpart and FIFA boss was very funny at 3-0. It was increasingly less funny for the Saudi chief at 5-0, but not for us.
The referee seemed to enjoy himself, and was entertaining to watch, and rightfully looked very happy to be there.
I couldn’t help but say “Omar Coming” every time I saw the shirt of Omar from Saudi Arabia. (The Wire reference)
Loved the first appearance of the wagging “World Cup Finger” by players at the first foul. It will be in use in my home for the coming weeks.
There is a joke somewhere in the fact that there was a Mexican wave at the Russian Stadium.
Did we see the first head knock of the World Cup that had no contact with the actual head for a Saudi defender in the first half? There will no doubt be many before the tournament is through. The competition is which body part that was actually contacted will be the furthest away from the head.
LOOKALIKES
Sometimes the 90 minutes can drag on, so you need something else to keep your mind engaged at whatever in the morning it was. So here are the best fromthe Russia v Saudi Arabia world cup opener.
Russian Manager Denis Cheryshev – there was a little Rene from Allo Allo about him.
Saudi Manager Juan Antonio Pizzi – looked like former F1 champ Emerson Fittipaldi
Samedov (Russia 19) – looked a little like the guy yelling out Jackass in Happy Gilmore.
A WHO CARES RUSSIA v SAUDI ARABIA PREVIEW
Head to Head Record
Saudi Arabia 1 Russia 0 Draw 0
Last Meeting
Saudi Arabia 4 Russia 2 – Friendly 1993
Odds
Russia $1.42 Saudi Arabia $9.00
Draw $4.00 0-0 Draw $9.00
Courtesy of Neds Bet
When is it? (AEST)
Friday June 15 – 1am
How Should I Watch It?
Should I Stay Up (Must watch and Stay Up), Get Up (Gotta watch live with pre sleep), Wake Up (Record and Wake up Normal Time), or Catch Up (Check the Score and the Group table and move on)
Defintiely a Stay up – can’t miss the first game of a World Cup, no matter how potentially dull it looks. Plus, gotta enjoy the decent timeslot.
Players to Watch
Aleksandr Golovin (Russia) – Mohammad Al-Sahlawi (Saudi Arabia)
Our Bold Prediction
0-0 Draw
Who Will Win based on a bunch of Stats of varying use.
BEST KIT – Saudi Arabia
BEST BADGE – Saudi Arabia
BEST HEAD TO HEAD – Saudi Arabia
BEST MOST RECENT RESULT – Saudi Arabia
BEST BETS – Russia
BEST NICKNAME – The Falcons (S Arabia) > The National Team (Russia)
UNDERDOGS CHOICE – Neither
MUTTSTRADAMUS THE DOG SELECTS – Russia
V a 2YO or 5YO CHILD – Russia
From our previous discussion on how to pick World Cup winners.
STATS WINNING SELECTION – Saudi Arabia.
REVIEW
Stand by for the review after the game.
