It’s decision time in Queensland politics and we have our 2017 Queensland State Election Guide for those who are mildly interested, but not enough to care too much, and are looking for something cheap and nasty at this late stage. As cheap and nasty as most of the promises this campaign but at least we’ll deliver. Maybe.
Firstly, if you rather insightful, quality analysis of the 2017 Queensland State Election then we’ll stop you right now and send you to the ABC Qld Election 2017 website. No one knows elections in Australia better than Antony Green. No one.
Once/If you come back from the Green-work, we have our Barely Interested 2017 Queensland State Election Guide, full of the smallest amount of analysis possible, “fun” things you can do on the night, and as ever gambling to accompany the big night.
So onwards to our Barely Interested 2017 Queensland State Election Guide.
CURRENT STATE OF PLAY
WINNING PARTY OF PREMIER (Party of Premier)
ALP $1.90
LNP $1.90
As of Monday 20th Nov
Barely Interested 2017 Queensland State Election Guide ENTERTAINMENT
ELECTION TIPPING
Challenge friends, family and the people on your Social Media you know support the other side with not one but two Tipping Games.
Lyne Ball – Gurgler’s Election Night Tipping Game
DRINKING GAMES
We previously featured Drinking Game advice, but since the world has turned into a responsible version of itself. So instead of drinking you could pay some money, provide a loving horsebite for your opponent, or eat something awful. Anything that punishes and doesn’t reward.
SIMPLE PICK A SIDE
Pick a side of politics, and if your party is losing on the on screen graphic for that seat, then you receive 1 x Punishment. Selecting a minor party will hurt, so don’t.
SWINGING ELBOW
As above, but the punishment is in proportion o the swing against your party. Enjoy.
2017 QUEENSLAND STATE ELECTION COVERAGE ON THE NIGHT
Election Night nerds, of which we put our hand up as a tragic one, can’t wait for that 6pm close and those graphs and swings and terms like Line Ball, Too Close to Call, and here’s Antony Green.
Of course you only get that last one with watching the ABC coverage, but if you truly want entertainment and accuracy then there is only one choice for the responsible Election Night nerd.
So if you choose to follow the hype and big names of Channel 7 and Channel Nein then you get all you deserve.
For no ads, and no substitute – choose Antony Green.
SLIGHTLY INFORMATIVE ELECTION TYPE INFORMATION
SEATS THAT MATTER
EVERTON
Current sitting MP Tim Mander could hardly be more conservative – LNP, Religious, and a former Rugby League Referee. For the LNP to win the 2017 Queensland State Election really can’t afford to lose this north Brisbane seat. But maybe the people of Everton are still smarting from the recent Federal Election where they only just failed to vote out Peter Dutton.
SOUTH BRISBANE
Covers 12km which includes the Gabba and is Trad Country. But it could be interesting after the Council election saw a Greens candidate elected. Seems the way preferences work that whoever of ALP and Greens is ahead will win., even if they are only second.
MARYBOROUGH
Saw the biggest upset at the last State Election as ALP won at big odds, One Nation in the mix in a 3 Horse race.
PUMICESTONE
ALP Held but the sitting member is not representing the party after being dumped. LNP sniffing around and have significant Grey Power on Bribie Island. We’d also like to point out a great suburb name – Ningi. Not much swing needed to steal it back for LNP.
BUDERIM
Won at the last state election by Steve Dickson for LNP, who is now the One Nation State Leader. Even more Grey Power here than Bribie, and a head to head of One Nation to LNP.
YOUR LOUNGE
Fill the esky, cut the mint, and get all required snack ready for the big night. And of course you’ll be hoping it’s close so no one concedes before 11pm.
INTERESTING CANDIDATES
Most elections are fought out between candidates with similar qualities and interest levels, so we’ve perused all the candidates for the 2017 Queensland State Election and believe we have found the candidates you could describe as the most interesting. And we will. Most of these are copied from the ABC Qld Election 2017 website.
Matt Loth – Keppel
Has a passion for Viking re-enactments.
Malcolm Roberts – Ipswich
Sacked from Federal Senate for forgetting his British nationality. Widely regarded as a tin foil hat wearing lunatic, by many more than the 70 odd people that voted for him in the last Federal Senate election.
Robbie Katter – Traeger
Son of Bob Katter, and always good to have a Katter hanging around.
Hetty Johnson – Macalister
Bravehearts founder having a run for office. A shame she probably won’t win.
Leanne McFarlane – Inala
Could be the LNP’s biggest time wasting candidate going up against the premiership in ALP heartland Inala
Shan-Ju Lin – Bundamba
Runs regular community events such as the Harmony Day Festival and the Children’s Festival in Robelle Domain Parklands QLD. Lin was originally selected as a One Nation candidate but disendorsed for a number of anti-gay internet posts.
Scott Bannon – Logan
He won 12 Titles including 3 World Professional Titles and in 2015 was inducted into the Muay Thai Hall Of Fame. During his career he fought as Scott ‘The Cannon’ Bannan but also gained the Nickname ‘The Peoples Champion’.
Brendon Huybregts – Condamine
Premier Palaszczuk couldn’t remember his name in the first week of the election. Adding to his thankless task of ALP candidate outside of Brisbane/Regional Centres.
Michael Pucci – Jordan
When he was old enough he enlisted in the US Marine, beginning a 20-year career. Now that kicks arse. He can also handle the truth.
Grace Grace – McConnel
Nothing like a double name.
David Crisafulli – Broadwater
Looks like Love Child of Jamie Whincup and Tim Cahill – lost his seat in North Qld with the anti Newman two fingers swingers and now bobs up on the Gold Coast in time for the Commonwealth Games.
BEST POLITICAL PARTY RUNNING AT THE 2017 QUEENSLAND STATE ELECTION
Unlike the federal Elections where Pirate Party, Sex Party and various Shooting, Fishing and Smoking parties put their hand up and out for election, the 2017 Queensland State Election really only sees one different name running. And here it is.
Civil Liberties, Consumer Rights, No-Tolls
Hard to argue against any of them.
OUR BOLD 2017 QUEENSLAND STATE ELECTION SELECTIONS
It wouldn’t be a major event in Australia without the team at The Gurgler attempting to show how clever we think we are, and the 2017 Queensland State Election is no different.
OUR BEST BET
Hung Parliament Result – LNP, Katter’s Autralia Party, One Nation @ $26
Applies to the Minority Government formed in the event of a Hung Parliament. Bets Void if a Majority Government if elected.
OUR RIDICULOUS ATTEMPT TO SELECT EVERY SINGLE SEAT
Can we correctly tip every single seat? Of course we can. And pity we can’t take them as a huge multi, as it would pay $245,272,104,440.46.
To save anyone time our totals are as below:
ALP 44 Seats LNP 42 Seats Katter 3 Seats One Nation 3 Seats
| Seat | Party | Odds |
| Gympie | ONP | $ 5.00 |
| Warrego | KAT | $ 3.00 |
| Maryborough | ONP | $ 3.00 |
| Burdekin | LNP | $ 2.80 |
| Callide | ONP | $ 2.50 |
| Keppel | LNP | $ 2.25 |
| Glasshouse | LNP | $ 2.10 |
| Buderim | LNP | $ 2.00 |
| Bonney | ALP | $ 2.00 |
| Pumicestone | LNP | $ 2.00 |
| Whitsunday | ALP | $ 1.90 |
| Mundingburra | LNP | $ 1.90 |
| Bundaberg | LNP | $ 1.85 |
| Toowoomba North | LNP | $ 1.80 |
| Maiwar | LNP | $ 1.80 |
| Redlands | LNP | $ 1.79 |
| Everton | LNP | $ 1.75 |
| Lockyer | LNP | $ 1.70 |
| Cairns | ALP | $ 1.70 |
| Hinchinbrook | LNP | $ 1.67 |
| Hill | KAT | $ 1.67 |
| Mansfield | ALP | $ 1.65 |
| Aspley | LNP | $ 1.58 |
| Gaven | LNP | $ 1.55 |
| Mirani | ALP | $ 1.55 |
| Mt Ommaney | ALP | $ 1.50 |
| Springwood | ALP | $ 1.50 |
| Chatsworth | LNP | $ 1.45 |
| Thuringowa | ALP | $ 1.40 |
| Ferny Grove | ALP | $ 1.40 |
| Barron River | ALP | $ 1.33 |
| Ninderry | LNP | $ 1.30 |
| Gregory | LNP | $ 1.30 |
| Burnett | LNP | $ 1.30 |
| Pine Rivers | ALP | $ 1.30 |
| Townsville | ALP | $ 1.30 |
| South Brisbane | ALP | $ 1.30 |
| Scenic Rim | LNP | $ 1.25 |
| McConnell | ALP | $ 1.25 |
| Murrumba | ALP | $ 1.22 |
| Noosa | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Currumbin | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Oodgeroo | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Hervey Bay | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Theodore | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Caloundra | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Cooper | ALP | $ 1.20 |
| Ipswich West | ALP | $ 1.20 |
| Ipswich | ALP | $ 1.20 |
| Nicklin | LNP | $ 1.20 |
| Nanango | LNP | $ 1.15 |
| Burleigh | LNP | $ 1.15 |
| Coomera | LNP | $ 1.14 |
| Greenslopes | ALP | $ 1.14 |
| Logan | ALP | $ 1.12 |
| Southern Downs | LNP | $ 1.10 |
| Condamine | LNP | $ 1.10 |
| Macalister | ALP | $ 1.10 |
| Stretton | ALP | $ 1.10 |
| Miller | ALP | $ 1.10 |
| Sandgate | ALP | $ 1.10 |
| Cook | ALP | $ 1.10 |
| Rockhampton | ALP | $ 1.09 |
| Capalaba | ALP | $ 1.08 |
| Traeger | KAT | $ 1.08 |
| Moggill | LNP | $ 1.07 |
| Clayfield | LNP | $ 1.07 |
| Mulgrave | ALP | $ 1.07 |
| Southport | LNP | $ 1.06 |
| Mackay | ALP | $ 1.06 |
| Broadwater | LNP | $ 1.05 |
| Toowoomba South | LNP | $ 1.05 |
| Kawana | LNP | $ 1.05 |
| Morayfield | ALP | $ 1.05 |
| Kurwongbah | ALP | $ 1.05 |
| Bulimba | ALP | $ 1.04 |
| Algester | ALP | $ 1.04 |
| Jordan | ALP | $ 1.04 |
| Waterford | ALP | $ 1.04 |
| Gladstone | ALP | $ 1.04 |
| Bancroft | ALP | $ 1.04 |
| Mudgeeraba | LNP | $ 1.02 |
| Toohey | ALP | $ 1.02 |
| Stafford | ALP | $ 1.02 |
| Nudgee | ALP | $ 1.02 |
| Redcliffe | ALP | $ 1.02 |
| Surfers Paradise | LNP | $ 1.01 |
| Maroochydore | LNP | $ 1.01 |
| Mermaid Beach | LNP | $ 1.01 |
| Inala | ALP | $ 1.01 |
| Woodridge | ALP | $ 1.01 |
| Lytton | ALP | $ 1.01 |
