We love our sport here at The Gurgler and have hand picked a few of our highlights in the first of our Sports Shorts.
It is the first of our Sports Shorts which might happen weekly or whenever the sport is interesting enough to warrant and extra blab.
And we know all our many fan and reader can’t wait for more.
Onwards and upwards to our Sports Shorts for this week.
NICK KYRGIOS STORMS OFF COURT STRAIGHT INTO JERK OF THE YEAR CONTENTION
An interesting side story of the 2017 sporting year has been the continuing battle of the biggest Tennis Jerk between Nick Kyrgios and Bernard Tomic.
Each has their own claims. Both have ability and both attempt to sabotage that in their own special way.
Tomic the Tank Engine tends to tarnish his reputation by applying a lot of bottom lip work, giving up or not even trying at all.
Kyrgios shows much more potential and gets the closest to achievement, but he could then explode/implode into a ball of pure Jerk.
After the Tennis Jerk Masterclass of Tomic at Wimbledon, Kyrgios always had a lot work ahead of him to snatch the Tennis Jerk prize for 2017. The good news from him storming off court during the week means he is trying his hardest. And the following war or words with Matthew Johns of all people merely adds gloss to the Tennis Jerk sheen.
WORLD CUP FOOTBALL QUALIFYING
Normally the International Football break is an annoying interruption to our usual hobby of trying to get as little sleep on weekends as possible by following 10 European Football competitions, but this week’s International break had plenty to offer.
Australia, Argentina, USA, Holland, Portugal all could have been knocked out of the World Cup as of this week, in the end only the Netherlands and USA of that list, and other mild surprises in Wales and Chile got the arse.
Australia were reasonably average in both legs, and it took 210 minutes to end up with a one goal advantage over Syria. But we have qualified for the next stage. Honduras look beatable on paper, but we look beatable everywhere, and no chickens have been counted yet.
For instance he fact that the USA couldn’t qualify out of the group of six nations that Honduras came fourth in says either a lot about underestimating the quality or that the USA choked massively. Probably both.
The possibility of Argentina missing out was excitement in itself, and especially after going down 1-0 early in the game. Messi saved their bacon this time with a hat trick just in time, and the country could possibly adopt Messi’s face as their national flag for the World Cup in Russia.
Holland won’t be at a World Cup, so a shame we won’t Arjen Robben falling over to claim fouls. No Alexis Sanchez either as Chile missed out too. Another big name player Gareth Bale won’t be featuring his man bun in Russia either.
All that happened in the last international break. Plenty of action.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Will Tim Cahill still be scoring goals for the Socceroos when he is 70?
Yes.
Given Tim Cahill seems to be the only player likely to score the important goals, we envisage a 70 year old Tim Cahill on a mobility scooter/wheelchair hanging around the 6 yard box waiting on and scoring with a pin point cross. The manager’s job will be to ensure that the scotter has enough battery power to last the final 20 minutes of the game when his goals are required.
And you know he’ll score.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK v2
Give Ange the Arse? And who to replace him?
Yes.
Guus Hiddink is a must. Been there and done it before, and worth whatever we pay.
If not, then Kevin Muscat would be worth a go.
AUSSIE CRICKET ROCKED BY WIN
Australia celebrated a rare win in India by winning the second T20 by getting a rock thrown at their team bus.
A scary moment and lucky they have been so ordinary in the tour up until now to not receive more.
Reports that Matthew Wade dropped the rock are unconfirmed.
Unhappy with the situation, the Australian Cricketers have demanded that they be taken to games by helicopter in the future.
UPCOMING SPORTING HIGHLIGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND
Rugby League International Triple Treat
Australia v Fiji v PNG in Fiji, sounds sensational to us. A warm up to the upcoming World Cup where each team will play both sides for a half. Australia will get their taste of Minoga as he has been named.
A pity we can find broadcast details anywhere.
Liverpool v Manchester United
A premium EPL clash and available for us tight arses on FTA on SBS at the sleep friendly time of 9:30pm.
Bein Sports Best Of The Weekend
For a Sports Nerd there’s nothing better than Bein Sports in its full glory. Especially now the EFL is back and rugby league is over.
Here’s our picks
Sun 4:40am Roma v Napoli
Sun 4:40am Atletico Madrid v Barcelona
Sun 9:30pm Derby County v Nottingham Forest
Mon 4:40am Inter Milan v AC Milan
