We recently launched our Person of the Year, so for balance it is also time to open the poll for the 2016 Jerk of the Year.
Whilst our Person of the Year is mostly about celebrating the People of the year who mostly are ignored in mainstream media, the 2016 Jerk of the Year nominations are a lot more famous.
The reason our 2016 Jerk of the Year nominations are more famous is that they have been first class jerks at one stage, annoying many thousand if not millions with their jerkdom. Not just the staff on board at The Gurgler.
All have in one way or another made the world a worse place in 2016.
They may have their fans or be misunderstood. We don’t care, they’re Jerks. Or have acted like a Jerk throughout 2016.
Now it’s time to find out who the biggest Jerk is for the year.
MICHAEL CLARKE
Opened up the Australian Summer of Cricket to be all about him. His book launch was a whatever hundred page odyssey of defending himself for being a jerk as an Australian Cricket player. Sure, being a Jerk is almost mandatory for being in the Australian Cricket team, but when just about every former team-mate came out against him you are sure you are dealing with a first class Jerk. We blamed him amongst others for the state of Australian Cricket. So it was only natural he gravitated to the Nine’s Commentary team. And to our Jerk of the Year.
NINE’S CRICKET COMMENTARY TEAM
A second nomination for Michael Clarke and all his mates. Although we decided to tune out for the summer, social media’s coverage of their critique of Matt Renshaw in his first test in Adelaide sums them up, and why they are jerk material. Given Australia were skittled for bugger all in the first two embarrassing tests against South Africa, you would think an opener grinding out a innings would be applauded. Well it was by real Australian cricket fans. The Nine Commentary team are not, they are only fans of themselves. And they can get *********************. And accept a nomination for 2016 Jerk of the Year.
PAT HOWARD AND CRICKET AUSTRALIA
For years of neglect that eventuated in the appalling run of Australian Cricket results before the Test win in Adelaide.
How a High Performance Manager can keep his job for achieving the opposite is unbelievable. And Cricket Australia’s greed and undervaluing the Sheffield Shield can get f***ed too.
NICK KYRGIOS
Just by existence he makes the list of 2016 Jerk of the Year. His antics are as well covered by the media as his nomination is deserved. Shame his best career ranking and great year on the Tennis tour is taken over by his on and off court antics.
The Tennis Tour even gave him a ban after his tanking in 2016. No one likes a tanker. Hell, we even begrudgingly put up with predecessor Jerk Lleyton Hewitt because he was a fighter. No one likes anyone who has loads of talent and throws it away.
BERNARD TOMIC
Nowhere near as bad a s Kyrgios, but still a jerk. And worthy of a nomination.
LEWIS HAMILTON
He may be fast and one of the best drivers on the grid, but off it he is a real jerk.
The manner he goes about answering questions, culminating in his performance at the Japanese Grand Prix just highlights how big a jerk he is. The addition of glasses throughout the year is usually a siren of jerk.
He seems undecided if he wants to be an F1 driver, Rap artist or A List celebrity. We say two of the latter will do, so wee lose his smugness or scowl every second week.
ANDREW FIFITA
He may have won a premiership, and been the best prop in the game at a lot of the 2016 season but he was real jerk in 2016.
This is on the back of roughing up a junior referee, a quintessential act of Jerk in 2015.
The Australian Test selectors agreed by excluded him from the Four Nations for what appears no other reason than he too big a jerk in 2016.
MALCOLM ROBERTS
The One Nation senator was elected with just 77 personal votes at the 2016 Senate Election. Just 77 votes. Representing 0.002% of the Queensland Voting public. Sure he got in on the One Nation quota, but they were mostly voting for Pauline Hanson, bot Malcolm Roberts, as his paltry 77 highlights.
He has since set out like he is an expert on everything, disagreeing with anyone with a foot in reality.
He says he speaks for Queensland, and he does. Just 0.002% of them.
We look forward to the upcoming debate with Dr Karl. It will be the comedy night of the year.
Could be worse – he could have the six year term.
THE OFFICE JERK
You spend almost as much waking time at work than you do at home with your chosen companions. Work is OK, but guaranteed your day is ruined by one person. The Office Jerk.
Every workplace has one, the one person who is a jerk. They like to complain. They hate Christmas and any other holiday and will refuse to help any potential activity to celebrate it. They take a nice team building activity and turn it into a saga just to be an arsehole.. When a majority vote for fun activities is needed they’ll be the only one against. They are only nice to you when they want something. They are the ultimate killjoy, and they’re after your work day. The worse thing is, they are usually happy enough and won’t be moving on.
All of these things didn’t happen in 2016, because they happen every year. It is just this year we are acknowledge heir jerkdom with a nomination of Jerk of the year.
VOTE NOW
Below is the poll which is now opened. Show the Jerk of the Year what you think of their work in 2016 with a Jerk of the Year win.
