Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, offering up a contract DCE wouldn’t be happy with, and less efficient than DOGE would approve of, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 4 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 4 Weekly Rant
No wonder people love their rugby league. Of all the things that could be the big talking point from the weekend it is Reggie the Rabbitoh serving out some street justice to children in the crowd at Shark Park.
It does turn out that Reggie was being unkind to the kid and has come out and apologised. All good Reggie. I, and all real Australians people still love you.
But if I’m honest, there isn’t anything funnier than mascot scuffles.
Whether it is a kid kicking a mascot up the date, or mascot flipping the bird to an unsuspecting opposition fan/s, or an ad hoc break dance for the TV cameras, or two or more mascots fighting with each other, or one annoying a player while they’re trying to play the actual game, or a mascot taking out a corner post to smoke it against all health regulations, mascots and mascot play is funny.
Well, not everything is funny. Drunk idiots being cruel to mascots isn’t funny. So sit down and shut up.
But the mascots give so much, and ask for so little. They’re probably only paid with free entry which they can’t see because they’re either working, punching little kids or if they are doing nothing (and being booed justifiably for that) and the slice of eye sight they get is less than 5mm wide. So life is tough. But entertain they still do. For the people. For the fans.
Maybe as payment for generations of service Reggie and his friends could feature in an Olympics trial sport of Mascot Games.
Although, not being too unfair, 2032 is a long time away for some. But imagine a Heptathlon featuring as many sporting mascots as the Brisbane Olympics can host from all around the world.
The 100 metre Hurdles opener would be funny enough, but throw in some Long Jump, Javelin and Shot Put and you’ve got an event here. High Jump would be pretty impossible, and therefore hilarious. The two running events may need to be reduced. Or not. Make them sweat. Like C and C Music Factory once demanded. Better than Black Box insisting you walk right in, walk, walk, walk right in.
Then of course there should be bonus points for general mischief, although that sounds too subjective. I suppose Gymnastics is all subjective, so why not.
Fencing, Judo, BMX, Skate Boarding and Platform Diving would also be acceptable additions to the mascot games. And funny.
All this Olympics mascot-ing can happen now that one form of a Queensland Government have put their adult pants on and sorted out at least where the bloody hell the sports are going to be.
Listen, I usually don’t get involved in Queensland politics, who would with all the Pauline Hanson, Malcolm Roberts, Bob Katter and his crocodiles, some guy called Milton Dick who currently has billboards saying “Working Hard on Your Side” which seems like someone is having a bit of fun, and to a lesser degree his brother Cameron Dick, it is safer to not care, and do a Donkey vote. Which for me is obvious really.
But this donkey is passionate about the Olympics, and the previous Qld government were serving up the Lidl (poor man’s Aldi in UK) Olympics. Then get on their high horse that someone broke an election promise. Well so be it if the Olympics will now be held at a proper stadium, rather than the Olympics equivalent of a clown car then break away. p.s. Lead clown S. Miles, former Premier.
QSAC can barely keep up with little athletics, let alone a Gout Gout inspired home Olympics where he will win five gold medals.
Olympics aren’t for everyone, and no doubt the Nimby train will be adding several carriages and fueling for the long haul, but all I ask is you picture Gout Gout standing there with five gold medals and you’ll turn around your thinking. If not, then you are just a sad and/or pathetic angry person who hates life and will demand the end of this article. Picketing the office of The Gurgler with some catchy chant and a Channel Nein and/or Seven reporter in tow.
Go ahead and try and find us, this website makes zero money, so we can’t even afford a cardboard box to sit in, and steal the power through some kind of method seen in that TV show The Wire. Better luck next time jerk.
Oh, and there’s also NRL this weekend, and my expert tips are below.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 4 Expert Tips
SOUTH SYDNEY v PENRITH
The most interesting thing about this clash could be who in the crowd is Reggie going to take it out on this week? Tough gig taking on Penrith fans. Or Souths fans. Poor Reggie.
Penrith by 18
ROOSTERS v GOLD COAST
A tricky one to tip and care about.
Gold Coast by 4
DOLPHINS v BRONCOS
Sadly the Dolphins stink at the moment, so if a Battle of Brisbane clash can’t fire them up, then hand us the spoon of wood.
Brisbane by 16
ST GEORGE ILLWARRA v MELBOURNE
An interesting clash of coaches. One I’m too scared of to write anything nasty, the other is the coach I hate best.
Melbourne by 30
NORTH QUEENSLAND v CANBERRA
Can the NRL dud Canberra any more with officiating this week? Whilst not wishing ill upon the Raiders, it would be kind of funny to see Ricky Stuart in steam coming out the ears cartoon mode. Maybe we can crowd-fund his $10K fan and ask him to let rip. Do it.
Canberra by 7
CRONULLA V BULLDOGS
People accuse Cronulla of being flat track bullies. People also accuse the Bulldogs of not being the real deal for 2025. We will let the court of Shark Park rule on these accusations. Picking the Bulldogs because Scott Morrison’s name was mentioned on the news this week sometime.
Bulldogs by 2
MANLY v PARRAMATTA
The most Channel Nein Sydney clash this weekend.
Manly by 12
WESTS TIGERS v WARRIORS
Two teams I wouldn’t mind seeing do well. So maybe I’ll pick a draw.
Wests Tigers by 8
READ MORE FROM ROUND 3 and 4:
2025 NRL Season Preview Stuff
We’ve done a lot of stuff ahead of the new NRL season, and here it all is.
Yep, still flogging it. Like a dead horse. Not donkey.
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S 2025 NRL SEASON SPECIALS
NRL DONKEY’S 2025 NRL SEASON PREVIEW
NRL 2025 SEASON LADDER PREDICTIONS
WOODEN SPOONERS 2025 NRL HEADLINES
WHY YOUR TEAM CAN’T WIN THE NRL 2025 PREMIERSHIP
