Faster than a Max Verstappen, more expendable than a Williams driver, more decisive than an F1 steward, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2024 Qatar Grand Prix Predictions and more.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Thoughts
And so we come to the last race of the busiest season in F1 history.
Well not Esteban Ocon, who did a swap of his sh!t car for the last race so he could test a Haas in the Abu Dhabi post season test. Don’t blame him given his current form vs his team mate. One does wonder about sabotage why Gasly is better at the moment, especially given it was only two races ago that Ocon came second. I guess with the constructor’s title so close at their level, even Alpine/Flavio wouldn’t get involved in sabotaging their own team. Although both have form of doing such a thing. A fair deal sees next year’s driver Jack Doohan come in a race early. That’s good, he gets race, just in case Alpine decide to bring in Franco Colapinto instead. Who has done nothing but crash and underwhelm since Red Bull considered him for 2025. That second Red Bull seat is a curse.
Talking of sabotage, we bet after last weekend Mercedes could help their departing driver find his way to Ferrari quicker too. Like Ocon, it might be mutual for Hamilton who isn’t enjoying life much. Although Carlos Sainz wouldn’t be too impressed. It might save Ferrari from one last intra-team battle. Or maybe they like them, their strategy calls do sometimes tend to be on the sabotage level too.
Talking of battling, here’s hoping that Mercedes are up there next season so the simmering feud between Max Verstappen and George Russell can bubble over into a season of hate. Of course it won’t be a Mercedes v Red Bull battle, because the curse of their second driver means they will be no good next season. No matter who it is. Well, it won’t be Sergio Perez that’s for sure. Or maybe it will be. Their decision to drop Ricciardo instead of Perez means you can’t rule anything out. Mercedes meanwhile will have Kimi Antonelli who could be one of the most exciting rookies ever. If he keeps the car on the track.
Talking of ruling things out, most had done that for Sauber scoring a point in 2025, and rightly so, they were so hard to find on the coverage which is some effort given their bright green livery. But then Guanyu Zhou goes out and grabs four of them last race. Good on them. Although sad for Valtteri Nottas, who is the only driver with Logan Sargeant as scoring no points in 2024. Not a great indicator of a season is being as bad as Logan Sargeant. Although that’s just points-wise. No one was worse overall than Logan Sargeant this season, although Sergio Perez has really tried his hardest since that Williams driver left.
The FIA themselves are also aiming for the podium in F1’s worst performer in 2024.
So much has happened in 2024, it’s hard to fit it all in here, or I simply can’t be bothered.
Despite it being possibly the best season since the FIA ruined the 2021 Driver’s Championship, or it could even be the best season in over a decade, I sort-of can’t wait for the season to end. I need the sleep. But before the off-season napping starts, here are the final bold predictions for 2024.
But do stand by for the F1 Donkey’s end of season thoughts coming soon. There’s a couple of half-baked ideas ready for the post Abu Dhabi finale. They might even be half as funny as this. If you can believe that.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2024 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore Kick/Stake/Sauber at your convenience. The F1 TV Cameras do. Except last weekend when they scored their first points of the season. Read our Qatar Grand Prix Race Report for more.
RED BULL
Sergio Perez to miss Q3, spin on the first lap, and recover to finish in an amazing third place. And still get sacked in the morning.
McLAREN
Lando Norris wins from pole.
MERCEDES
George Russell to qualify alongside Max Verstappen and a crash ends each other’s race halfway around the first lap.
FERRARI
One last team orders / strategy stuff up. Fisticuffs in the Ferrari pit afterwards.
ASTON MARTIN
Lance Stroll to set a new F1 record with 4 separate spins in one race on a dry track.
RB VISA CASH APP
Liam Lawson to piss another driver off. No points for Yuki Tsunoda which leads to the most bleeped radio communication of the afternoon.
ALPINE
A point on debut for Jack Doohan.
WILLIAMS
More crashes.
HAAS
Nico Hulkenberg is due a qualifying special.
SAUBER
Back to making very little to no difference.
F1 2024 Season Stats
And some proper stats to ensure this is more of an F1 article.
