Faster than a Spurs defender, less reliable than a VAR decision, harder than a pack of Millwall supporters after a few pints, it’s the EPL Donkey who is back for another week with a Routemaster of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 11 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week11 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
If this week has proved anything that anyone can win anything. No matter how many unpopular, rude or crazy things they do, or how many cats and/or dogs they have accused of being eaten, they can still be a winner. And a big winner.
Which gives solace as an Ipswich Town supporter.
Whilst Ipswich are no Donald Trump, they are no Kamala Harris either. Except for the number in the Win column. And at least Ipswich have another 28 chances to improve on that figure.
Hopefully this week they put up a better blue wall than the Democrats did, and swing state their way out of relegation.
Who knows, maybe Ipswich Town would have done better in the US Election, people like horses, and you can’t tell me a horse wouldn’t sort out the economy.
But back to football, albeit briefly, as another International break looms. Bloody hell, another one. So many. Too many.
The ultimate killjoy. Or perhaps football’s version of a filibuster.
Some say you have to play these games for the World Cup and so on. I disagree. And this very website gave an alternative to the current World Cup qualifying recently. Read it, no one else has.
At least there’s some cracking games to watch before hibernating into real life for the following two weeks. There’s not even a Formula 1 race to kill the time. Jerks.
I’d tell the FIA boss to go an F himself, but I don’t want a fine.
Maybe FIFA management then. I don’t have enough money.
Oh well, better just enjoy this week’s action, and lay down a few of my finest tips.
Maybe I’ll steam roll my way through this week’s selections with a Trump-like bravado and success.
Or the predictions will be more like the Democrats. Blue and losing.
The EPL Donkey’s Premier League Week 11 Tips
WEST HAM v EVERTON
Two clubs that should be doing better meet for no one’s pleasure.
West Ham 3 Everton 0
WOLVES v SOUTHAMPTON
Nothing says Saturday 3pm like a clash between last and second last. Talking of last, the loser will probably see the manager in charge of their last game.
Wolves 2 Southampton 0
BRENTFORD v BOURNEMOUTH
This game is brought to you by the letter B. And it should B entertaining enough.
Brentford 3 Bournemouth 2
CRYSTAL PALACE v FULHAM
So many draws between these sides, very little reason to pick otherwise.
Crystal Palace 0 Fulham 0
BRIGHTON v MAN CITY
So Man City have now lost in the League Cup, lost to Bournemouth for the first time ever and got spanked by Sporting in Europe. Poor Brighton might just be on the receiving end of the turnaround. Or provide a fourth consecutive disappointment.
Brighton 2 Man City 1
LIVERPOOL v ASTON VILLA
Quality clash on late enough in the UK for the Pacific nations to enjoy, which is great. Liverpool are flying on top of two tables. Which sounds like a skillful exotic dancer. Mo Salah to dance around Aston Villa too.
Liverpool 3 Aston Villa 2
MAN UTD v LEICESTER
The Ruud era comes to an end after a successful stop gap. He’ll celebrate in style against the same team he made his debut with. Who knows how long he’ll have to wait to get his next go at Man Utd as manager. Probably not long. If the new manager keeps him. Which he probably won’t.
Man Utd 3 Leicester 1
SPURS v IPSWICH
There is no plausible reason to pick Ipswich except for desperation.
Spurs 1 Ipswich 3
NOTTINGHAM FOREST v NEWCASTLE
What a magnificent sight to see Nottingham Forest third and in front of so many big football teams on the ladder. With the Liam Lawson of Football up front firing in goals for Forest and New Zealand. Newcastle has a good win last weekend, which means there won’t be a repeat this weekend.
Nott’m Forest 2 Newcastle 0
CHELSEA v ARSENAL
Chelsea have played seven of their ten games on a Sunday this season and they sign off the round before another International Break with a game the broadcasters will talk up that will be decided by a late penalty to one of the teams.
Chelsea 1 Arsenal 0
