A new NRL Season is almost here, with many websites and journalists doing their bold predictions for the 2024 NRL season, who is going to look after the most obvious? That’s where Captain Hindsight’s Obvious 2024 NRL Season Predictions comes in.
Normally the sensible know-it-all obviousness of Captain Hindsight is here to give you a wheelbarrow full of I-Told-You-So after each major Sporting Event, heading up the Australian branch of the Monday’s Experts International Club.
But The Gurgler is going for something different, to get Captain Hindsight to give the obvious NRL predictions in advance, before he would tell you that they were going to happen after the event.
And Captain Hindsight being the all-knowing Captain Hindsight that he is, he’s actually recycled a few of his 2023 Obvious NRL Season Predictions, because he knows they will happen. After they happen like always.
Captain Hindsight’s Obvious 2024 NRL Season Predictions
PHIL “BUZZ” ROTHFIELD WILL BE NUMBER ONE SH!T STIRRING KNOW-IT-ALL JERK ALL SEASON
Phil Rothfield seems to hate rugby league. Perhaps it is like Michael Corleone in Godfather III where all he’s trying to do is get out of NRL, but they keep dragging him back. Or maybe he genuinely loves being one of rugby league’s biggest turds. Even Disney’s Eeyore has reportedly turned down lunch offers with Rothfield as his company was too depressing.
Either way, this is Captain Hindsight’s first obvious NRL prediction for 2023, as “Buzz” has spent much of the off season, sh!t stirring, putting up “whispers”, or being rugby league’s version of the cover of New Idea.
We guess that is the downside of Paul Kent’s absence from NRL360, is that Buzz gets more airtime than ever. A sure sign that media is getting worse.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: Buzz to Negatively Report on Gus Gould and Bulldogs in 2023 once a week on NRL360.
FOX LEAGUE WRITERS TO CONTINUE TO OBSESS OVER WESTS TIGERS
The Wests Tigers have been solid fodder for Fox League over recent seasons, and while some of it has been deserved with consecutive last place finishes and some extraordinarily bad running of a club at times, the level of scrutiny hasn’t been that warranted. Or interesting.
But that doesn’t matter as improvement for the Tigers will lead to raised expectations, and further swift slashing of tall poppy when they slip.
And you just know every step of the way will be covered in more detail than needed by the Fox League writers.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: Three articles and seven mentions a week on Fox League website / NRL360 by James Hooper.
TALKING OF FOX LEAGUE……
50% of content will feature a combination of Matty Johns, Fletch and Hindy. In no particular order.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: More Matty. More.
A GRAINY PICTURE OF A RUGBY LEAGUE PLAYER DOING SOMETHING STUPID IN A TOILET WILL EMERGE
Almost a certainty that a rugby league player will do something stupid in 2024. Usually it’s not a matter of if or when it is how many and how soon and what type of animal. And whether they will beat the start of the season.
But Captain Hindsight can see it now, grainy surveillance footage on the news of an NRL player exiting a toilet, with or without a friend, sending the mainstream media into overdrive.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: A certain boisterous fullback is a real chance.
WAYNE BENNETT v RICKY STUART FOR FIRST STORM OUT OF PRESS CONFERENCE
Wayne Bennett did well in his first season at the Dolphins, exceeding expectations is probably fair. But his season wasn’t immune from the occasional grump at a reporter.
Ricky Stuart also overachieved to a degree, and similarly he showed signs of real NRL grump at times, but nothing major.
Captain Hindsight’s beige Crystal Ball can see both of these super coaches really cracking it in 2024 with a storm off. Question is, which one?
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: Wayne Bennett to snap at reporters at every press conference, but Ricky Stuart to walk off first.
99% OF RUGBY LEAGUE FANS WILL SAMPLE THE CHANNEL NEIN COVERAGE FOUR TIMES ONLY IN 2024
For most rugby league fans, they only have to slum it down to the depths of Channel Nein four times a year, and for most that is five times too many.
But what can you do? Not watch Origin? Wait for the Fox League delay?
Or simply watch it and cane them on social media. And enjoy The Block promos.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: A biased, blokey coverage of all three State of Origins, with the occasional cross-promote. Plus an NRL Grand Final coverage of even lower quality, preceded by a sh!t music act.
NORTH SYDNEY BEARS WILL BE LINKED TO MANY LOCATIONS TO BECOME 18TH NRL TEAM
People love the Bears, which makes you wonder how they were eliminated from rugby league in the first place.
Oh that’s right, a stupid merge between clubs who hated each other, and being screwed over by the Governing body.
Well, the NRL has the chance to put that right by re-admitting the Bears back into the NRL.
Thankfully the NRL supremo Peter V’landys, has already taken some of Captain Hindsight’s glory with his claim of over 200,000 members for the Bears.
So since he’s getting a bit fanciful with his predictions, may we suggest the following….
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: North Sydney-Perth-Papua New Guinea-Pasifika-Fiji-Perth Again-Wellington-Western Brisbane Bears.
VICTORIANS WILL STILL CALL THE NRL “RUGBY”
No matter how much the Melbourne Storm succeed in 2023, the state in which they are located will continue to call the 13 man game rugby.
Whilst this is a minor insult given that the name “rugby” is usually associated with the painful-to-watch 15 man game, the NRL and Storm continue to ignore it.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: A boost in interest in “Rugby” in Victoria if Melbourne make the Grand Final.
A FORMER NRL PLAYER WITH LESS THAN TEN GAMES WHO HASN’T PLAYED IN OVER A DECADE WILL BE ARRESTED ON A MINOR CHARGE YET REPORTED IN MAINSTREAM MEDIA AS “FORMER NRL STAR”
There’s nothing like playing a handful of games in a sport to be termed a star if you make the news for non-playing reasons.
But Captain Hindsight can easily see this happening in 2024 and every year after. And the years before.
First of all, seeing a rugby league player being arrested on a minor charge, is a piece of hindsight brilliance that only Captain Hindsight can offer.
Secondly, it will be obvious that the person’s link to rugby league will be blown out of proportion like it usually is.
Captain Hindsight Non Bold Prediction: Wikipedia to gain some more clicks when the “NRL Star” is named.
CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT QUICK HITS
- Everyone will still love Nicho Hynes.
- Dolphins’ Ray Stone will still seem angry at everything on field.
- New Zealand Warriors will blow up deluxe when, not if, a referee blunder ruins one of their games.
