With another wonderful NRL season over and the actual winners determined, it is time to unveil the other winners and losers of the season that was with The Gurgler’s 2023 NRL Awards we call The Mintos.
The Gurgler team have decided our own categories and winners, and it is a wide range of awards to give. Some that no other rugby league will do that we know of. From the biggest jerk to best/worst Ricky Stuart press conference, and so much more.
And of course The Gurgler’s 2023 NRL Awards are named after the cult hero rugby league icon Scott Minto. Who else.
The Gurgler’s 2023 NRL Awards
MOMENT OF THE YEAR
DOLPHINS WIN FIRST GAME
Not many people were picking the Dolphins to finish above last, and even fewer gave them a chance to beat the highly fancied Roosters. But win they did in their first game, on the back of Felise Kaufusi smashing anyone who came near him, and players like Jamayne Isaako, The Hammer and Jeremy Marshall-King giving a preview of their wonderful seasons. “Phins Up” caught on quick, and the Dolphins were winners straight away.
DIS/HONOURABLE MENTIONS
LINDSAY COLLINS OUT-JUMPS JAMES TEDESCO IN ORIGIN GAME ONE TO SEAL WIN FOR 12 MAN QLD
OK, so not a great one for NSW fans, but it was a big moment. With Queensland just forging ahead despite a player less, a bomb was put to James Tedesco, who was clinically out-jumped by a Maroon player flying through who then gave the ball on for a try. And to the amazement/bemusement of most, on replay the high flyer turned out to be prop Lindsay Collins.
SECOND HALF OF GRAND FINAL
The 2023 NRL Grand Final was a classic, and the second half provided so much action and some huge moments and turnarounds. Despite being thoroughly outplayed in the first half, Brisbane only trailed by two points going into the break. Then Ezra Mam turned on the speed and skill with hat trick, and Brisbane looked home. But then Nathan Cleary stepped up and gradually broke the Broncos hearts, as Penrith took the Grand Final win and proved they are a team for all scenarios.
FIRST BATTLE OF BRISBANE
A lot of hype going into the Dolphins v Broncos game, but what a refreshing change to have the second Brisbane side. The tight game was decided by a long range try to Kotoni Staggs, who post try celebration will end up being iconic. Ironic too, as he was selected by the Broncos after sterling performances for feeder side at the time Redcliffe Dolphins.
UP THE WAHS
The 2023 season in general was a moment of the year as the Warriors hoisted themselves into the top four and loaded a bandwagon of fans. Hopefully they continue the winning next year, s it was good for rugby league.
THE UP YOURS OF THE YEAR
LUKE BROOKS TO MANLY
After years of being on the end of all the Wests Tigers abuse and social media hate, Luek Brooks signed for Manly, which was funny.
DIS/HONOURABLE MENTIONS
ADAM O’BRIEN
The Newcastle coach was under fire for a lot of the season, until the Knights went on a winning streak to end the season and make the finals.
JAROME LUAI TO THE HATERS
His post origin social media post basically telling people to go back to their day job was pretty arrogant and funny.
ROOSTERS SEALING RABBITOHS FINAL EXIT
Souths could have made the finals if they beat the Roosters. They didn’t. much to the enjoyment of Roosters fans.
THE COWBOYS RETURN SERVE
Wests Tigers surprisingly flogged the North Queensland Cowboys halfway through the 2023 season by the almost Unbelievable score line of 66-18. Then a few months later the Cowboys pulled down the Tigers pants by 74-0 in Townsville.
FUNNIEST FEUD
JAROME LUAI v REECE WALSH
Two of the most polarising NRL players went head to head in Origin Two, and were subsequently sent to the sin bin in a moment of much amusement.
DIS/HONOURABLE MENTIONS
TYSON GAMBLE v WILLIE MASON
There’s nothing like a social media battle, and Willie got the upper hand on this one.
BUZZ ROTHFIELD v GUS GOULD
Two of rugby league’s most opinionated, grumpy and arrogant people went head to head several times in 2023. Although, it could be argued that Buzz was the one starting most of the trouble.
THE WESTS TIGERS
Wests Tigers continue to in-fight as if there was a documentary still going on. Or maybe this happens at most clubs but for some reason the Fox League writers are obsessed. However the dumping of Tim Sheens was ordinary.
WAYNE BENNETT vs LOCAL JOURNALISTS
There’s nothing quite so awkward in rugby league than a Wayne Bennett press conference. They occasionally, and sometimes more often, end up with Wayne Bennett airing beefs with local journalists or him giving them nothing because of something they’ve written. Which in fairness, because they are from the Courier Mail it probably was rubbish. In line with the rest of the rag. And that’s probably the ALP government’s fault.
BIGGEST JERK
PHIL ROTHFIELD
Phil Rothfield aka Buzz is a real turd. A grumpy Hans Moleman type figure that sadly hogs too much of the rugby media attention every week.
He comes up with his whispers or rumours, with an almost Trump-like disregard for whether they are actually true. His beef with Gus Gould is embarrassing, but also funny.
Ultimately though, appears he hates rugby league enough to question why he pends most of his time talking about it.
Makes Eeyore look like Miguel that chef from Channel Ten.
DIS-HONOURABLE MENTIONS
FOX LEAGUE WRITERS
The anonymous team of rugby league writers from the Fox Sports website that bash certain things in rugby league every day. And mostly the Wests Tigers. They should at least be brave enough to put their names to it.
PHIL GOULD
Loud mouth know-it-all whose opinion is treasured by himself most. Occasionally talks sense, but not enough.
THE BUNKER
Making an easy job so difficult, and a real party pooper on so many occasions. Think it would improve the game by now. It hasn’t. It doesn’t. And it won’t.
CHANNEL NEIN
Not quite as bad as it used to be, but still sh!t. But at least it is only four games a year now.
JAROME LUAI
Luai manages to rub most people up the wrong way, not helping people’s attitude on Penrith in general. Luai’s biggest jerk-work for the season was his post Origin 1 post on social media.
REECE WALSH
Luai’s sparring partner from State of Origin 2 was the biggest rugby league jerk from Queensland this season. His suspension for swearing at the referee was bad enough, but the bullsh!t story he came up with to cover for it was absurd. And appearing to start Origin skirmishes and running away.
ANGRIEST COACH
CRAIG BELLAMY
No one does angry like Craig Bellamy, and his Storm gave him more reasons than usual in 2023.
DIS/HONOURABLE MENTIONS
RICKY STUART
Sticky aka The Game Greatest Thinker aka Carlos Smearson is an angry man, but he gets his own category below.
GREG ALEXANDER
Didn’t seem to like being on the receiving end of the press as NSW assistant coach.
WORST DUMPING OF THE YEAR
NICHO HYNES
Scapegoated for the Origin One loss, one of rugby league’s seemingly good guys was treated terribly by his own state. It affected him for a while too, as the Sharks weren’t as good as 2023 as a result.
DIS/HONOURABLE MENTIONS
TIM SHEENS
No surprise, but Sheens being dumped before the timeline of hand over was poor. Especially for a club legend who won their only title.
JUSTIN HOLBROOK
No surprise to see a Gold Coast Titans coach sacked, but to drop him for Des Hasler seems odd. At least PNG get a new head coach out of it.
OTHER NSW ONE GAME WONDERS
Like Nicho Hynes there were a few more players who will end up playing one game for NSW. Meanwhile, Queensland’s more high frequency of sticking with players unless someone is screaming out to be picked seems to be working fine.
DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE SEASON
SOUTH SYDNEY
There has rarely been an in-season implosion like the one at South Sydney. Leading the competition after Round 11 and looking great, to missing the finals as they deserved. Blame has been thrown around, and assistant coach Sam Burgess was in the middle of it and is leaving for the UK Super League. Something’s wrong, as there’s too many good players there to be so sh!t.
DIS/HONOURABLE MENTIONS
THE BUNKER
More technology on hand than Robocop and that robot from Short Circuit combined, The Bunker continue to disappoint to the point of wondering why we bother.
BULLDOGS
Many were predicting with a new ex-Penrith coach, and more Gus self-indulgent tripe that the Bulldogs were going to be big improvers this season. Instead that title went to the other team with an ex-Penrith coach, and the Bulldogs looked to have made no progress in 2023, and possibly going backwards. Injuries didn’t help, nor did Tevita Pangai as he rarely does, but they finished lower than the Dolphins on the ladder, which says it all really.
THE NRL OVER ORIGIN PERIOD
The sooner they park the NRL season during State of Origin the better. It sucks royal for two months, and very few sports on earth attack their own comp for such a long time because of three other games.
COMMENTATOR OF THE YEAR
DAN GINNANE
Was a good season from the former Triple M caller, who provided many moments of commentary gold throughout the season. And his calls in general were the right mix of excitement without going over-the-top, and a little bit of humour to keep it light when it needed it.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
WARREN SMITH
Still a great caller, even if it seems he has been bumped down the pecking order.
ANDREW VOSS
A good caller who injects plenty of life in the calls, and a little touch of smart-arse to keep it amusing.
PETER PSALTIS
Sadly hidden away on Channel Nein, which means most rugby league fans don’t hear him as often as they should. Supremely knowledgeable and quite funny, and a generous gent off the field. Hopefully the next in line for Fox.
BEST JERSEYS / WORST JERSEYS
At the beginning of the season we went through the best and worst NRL jerseys for the 2023 season. But after a whole season, maybe some of them grew on us and other went down in our view.
BEST
The Penrith jersey is a winner in many ways, their are the Premiers and it looks great. The Bulldogs jersey was one of our favourites at the start of the season and despite their disappointing returns in 2023, it still looks good. Manly’s jersey is neat and clean and less controversial than one of their 2022 kits. Finally, the Dolphins Anzac jersey is a favourite given our heritage of growing up in Kallangur.
WORST
The Dolphins first jersey was a real disappointment, that sand colour is way too prominent and it looked like a Vanilla Coke bottle. Staying in Brisbane and the Broncos jersey powered them to a grand final, but the uneven split looks terrible. Melbourne’s jersey looked like a Donald Duck outfit, and the Wests Tigers Anzac jersey was famed for featuring non Australian combat folk on the front, further enhancing their off field professionalism.
The ‘Sticky’ Award for Worst Presser
Ricky Stuart is known for his volatile (and frankly unhinged) press conferences. Depending on his mood, he veers from proud father to sulky teenager.
While he’s had his fair share of blow ups (the Full Credit to the Boys podcast devoted a segment – and catchy song – to his blow ups), he outdid himself in 2023. And there was a clear winner in 2023.
MUPPETS WITH TEXTBOOKS
With Jarrod Croker heading towards his 300th NRL game, Stuart made the ballsy call to rest ‘Toots’ for the Friday night Wests Tigers game so he’d reach his milestone at Bruce Stadium against the NZ Warriors. The move was well-intentioned, but there was a lot of backlash.
The criticism seemed to hurt Ricky, as he blew up deluxe after the Tigers game (another get-out-of-jail win that the Raiders should have won comfortably, leading 18-0 deep into the second half), when asked about Jarrod missing the game.
“What I did was the right thing by all the Canberra fans. I wanted to make sure they knew I was resting Jarrod this week.
“I could’ve kept him in the team all week, they would have bought their tickets and poor buggers would’ve come down here to see him play 300, but no, I did the right thing. I was open and honest.
“I was probably wrong to be open and honest. I might as well just lie.
“It really shitted me off that these so-called experts who’ve never man-managed, never been leaders in making tough decisions – and that was a big risk tonight and I knew I was going to cop it from every one of you in here tonight if we got beaten.
“But I was prepared to take a risk. That’s leadership. Not these other muppets who pretend they know.”
A week later – after the 300th game ended in a big loss to the Warriors – Stuart doubled down, saying “What this club is about is blokes like Jarrod, that’s why we’re so proud of him. I’d rather have this week and lose the two points than have a sh***y week for Jarrod promoting his 300th and winning two point. If that costs us at the end of the year in the top four or top eight — so be it, that’s our fault. But I’d much prefer the week we had.”
In hindsight, Jarrod could have played at Leichhardt, celebrated his 300th win a win, and then come back to Canberra to celebrate game 301.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
- The angry 90-second presser in Melbourne (after Canberra lost 48-2). He wanted to be there like a tired introvert wants to be at a lively family dinner.
- The “That Wasn’t Us” justification after a big home loss to Newcastle, which spoilt a historic day for the Raiders NRLW side.
- His emotional reaction after The Dolphins game in Wagga, with Stuart nearly breaking down when talking about Jack Wighton signing with South Sydney.
- And – for a change of pace – his final presser after the elimination final: constantly mentioning the “Raiders DNA” and finally admitting that Wighton actually was a centre (but no explanation why it took five months to move him out of five-eighth).
The Gurgler’s 2023 NRL Awards – Quick Hits
Just a few quick hits where there was no nomination process, just a winner, or loser……
COME-UPPENCE OF THE YEAR
PAUL KENT – Without getting too much into legal territory Paul Kent has had plenty to say about the rights and wrongs of NRL players over the years, and then he had his legal moment. There was a lot of grave dancing when the news rolled in, given how big a jerk Kent had been toward so many.
HYPE MAN OF THE YEAR
MATT NABLE – For his weekly presentations on Fox League. So good.
THE IT’S MY PARTY AND I’LL CRY IF I WANT TO
WAYNE BENNETT – For his 900th coaching game pre-match press conference.
THE STOP IT RIGHT NOW
PROPS REQUESTING CAPTAINS CHALLENGES – Props who aren’t captain should not make requests for challenges, they are the Shane Watson of video calls in rugby league.
THE WELCOME RETURN
POST SEASON INTERNATIONALS – Great to have the tests back, and hopefully the mid season tests can continue in conjunction with a standalone State of Origin series.
THE GURGLER’s 2023 NRL AWARDS SPONSORED BY MINTOS
