It’s Friday and the weekend is almost here, so The Gurgler editorial team decided they needed some filler for a Friday, something light-hearted, preferably sporting based, and quick and easy to balance out all the stats-heavy sporting onslaughts usually available. This week because of the State of Origin Game Two fallout we’re offering up Five Potential New Rugby League Boxing Matches.
Rugby League and Boxing go hand in hand, always has, and their brawls capture the imagination and wallets of many around the country. And since there was a bit of feeling in the last Origin contest, we’ll use our Top Five Friday to go through some mouth watering potential new bouts to get really excited about.
And we are aware that this came out before Friday, but why wait? Plus there’s another one coming on Friday.
JAROME LUAI v REECE WALSH
We’ve already seen a preview of this fight in State of Origin Game Two, much like one of our favourite sporting moments when a fight breaks out at the weigh-in.
But it just makes rugby league sense to pit two of the most disliked footballers currently in the NRL against each other in the boxing ring, where it belongs.
People can cheer along state lines, or barrack against the player they dislike the most, or perhaps there will be a few in the boat of wanting to see them both hurt each other badly.
And of course, the fans would want no less than a no-holds-barred, MMA style fight, where Luai’s hair can be pulled with wild abandon and Luai can wreck of all Reece Walsh’s fine make up. And Head Butts? You bet.
This feature fight will have 15 rounds of 20 seconds each, with a break of 60 seconds for each player to sook and mouth-off at the same time.
EVERYONE v THE BUNKER
Most rugby league fans had had enough of The Bunker by this stage of the season, generously presuming they didn’t crack the shits months ago, so this undercard is one for the fans.
All paying spectators will be issued with various pieces of fruit on their arrival, and when the time comes will be invited to throw their fruit at a giant rubber costume shaped like The Bunker.
Be quick, each section of the crowd gets only 60 seconds to throw their fruit. Anyone throwing fruit at other fans will be ejected into the Matthew Lodge detention area.
JOHNS BROTHERS FAMILY BRAWL
Is it just us, our are genuine rugby league fans sick of the Harry-Meghan style dross that is the Johns brother’s feud.
Perhaps Matty is as bored of Andrew Johns and his sulk-a-thon as many others and figures it’s time to settle it once and for all in the ring.
Of course, Fox League can see the dollars with Fletch and Hindy being part of his entourage in the ring, giving them minute of new gear to use on their show on the Thursday and/or Sunday. And to be repeated over and over.
The Johns Battle means we will once and for all determine which Johns brother Is the biggest, the baddest and the best. Off the field.
MATT LODGE PUNCH-A-THON
For those wanting some New York style entertainment, we have the ultimate boxing experience.
Paying patrons can apply as they walk in to fight Matt Lodge in the 30 minute long Punch-O-Rama. Simply scan the QR code on the way in, and stay off the beers, as only completely sober ticket holders will be allowed in the ring.
30 Lucky winners will receive a text 30 minutes before the showcase and quickly given some protective equipment and pep talk from Jeff Fenech which includes three short, sharp punches for preparation.
Each of the 30 Matt Lodge Punch-O-Rama experience winners will be given just 30 seconds to their best against the rugby league hard man. Once completely incapacitated or the 30 seconds is up, the opponent will be given a Matt Lodge Medal if they are still standing, and receive the Lodge wink of approval, a prize which can’t be valued.
LUKE BROOKS v TIGERS
After a decade of social media abuse and being overpaid, Luke Brooks is going to the home of overpaid rugby league players – Manly. Few can blame the halfback for wanting somewhere new to go, and equally there will be very few tears shed in Tiger’s circles once Brooks’ wallet leaves.
So bottling up all that tension and dislike, is an event as part of the rugby league fight night that’s a little different.
Luke Brooks on the canvas, doing some Tiger taming.
It’s one last chance to see who comes out on top of a battle between Tigers and Luke Brooks. Will it be man or beast to triumph?
