It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 25 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 25 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and most are completely made up, but we’ll let you decide which ones are. Any issues please contact L. Hutz or our Legal team, and for any coaching vacancies please contact the Fox League team.
NRL ROUND 25 RESULTS HEADLINES
PERSON WHO HAD 24 COSMETIC SURGERIES IN THE LAST 10 YEARS CAN’T SEE THE VALUE IN SPENDING $800M ON SYDNEY FOOTBALL STADIUM TO LOOK SORT OF THE SAME.
There was much fanfare for the grand unveiling of the new Sydney Football Stadium for the Roosters v Rabbitohs game on Friday, but not everyone was impressed.
Rogers Hammerstein (fake name) was one that told the Wooden Spooners Conversation Marquee outside the ground on Friday night what they really thought.
“I’ve had plenty of work done over the past few years, reckon it’s gotta be over 20 in the last decade, but as you can see, I look almost exactly like golfing super-hunk Greg Norman. And worth it too. I used to look like Wayne Grady.”
“But I look at this stadium and wonder why the f—k they tore it down, kick sports out of here for years to remake it almost exactly like the original. I mean, they even called it the same bloody name. What a monumental waste. Although no one in NSW would be surprised with this government.”
Not wanting John Barilaro to get angry with us, we thanked Rogers for their views and politely told him the Kiss mask wearing Souths fan that looked sad was next.
NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS CONSIDERING A VINTAGE CANTERBURY TYPE JERSEY NEXT WITH ALL THEIR DIFFERENT DESIGNS IN ONE FOR FANS ON A BUDGET
Bad Artists Impression
The New Zealand Warriors are famed for releasing a lot of jerseys each season, and 2022 has been no different.
But after considering the pressure it puts on their fans to want to have every jersey to support their team but may not be able to afford it, the Warriors are due to release a jersey next year that has all of the 2023 designs rolled into in one.
It would be similar to the standard High School Senior jersey from a decade and more ago.
LEICHHARDT OVAL SCOREBOARD ATTENDANT SCRAMBLES TO FIND MORE SEVENS AND EIGHTS AT HALF TIME
The scoreboard at Leichhardt Oval is a great sight to behold, a slice of yesteryear. Much like the ground itself which is about to be ignored by the NRL.
But with the halftime score between the Tigers and Raiders at 42-0, the scoreboard operator was reportedly very flustered going into the break according to our Tigers based spy.
The scoreboard operator was apparently worried about the lack of sevens and eights, as much like the X, Z and Q in Scrabble the original set of numbers were limited and only had one seven and two eights.
Thankfully the Tigers put in a better second half / Canberra lost interest, as the score remained within a pre-match determined tolerance for the size of the thrashing the Tigers were expected to receive.
SIREN HEARD IN BACKGROUND OF TIGERS-RAIDERS GAME WITH A FEW MINUTES WAS NEW NRL MERCY RULE SIREN
With five minutes remaining there was a distinct siren sound coming from in or close to Leichhardt Oval.
The Wooden Spooners have it on good authority that it was an unofficial test from the NRL to use a separate siren controlled by the NRL to act as a mercy rule for both players and fans of a game that has no point going on any further.
Feedback to the Wooden Spooners Conversation Marquee which had made it to the ground for Sunday’s big clash was overwhelmingly positive.
Many Tigers fans thanked the NRL for putting them out of their misery. A Tigers fan angrily snapped that it was an insult to legendary superfan Laurie Nicholls. And James Hooper of Fox League said it was a good idea for Tigers games as it gave him more time to write yet another Tigers bashing article.
MATT BURTON’S PRE GAME KICKING PRACTICE RESPONSIBLE FOR DOWNPOUR FOR BULLDOGS MATCH V MANLY. CSIRO LOOKING TO BURTON FOR CLOUD SEEDING FOR NEXT DROUGHT.
There was an almighty downpour during the Bulldogs-Manly at several times.
The Wooden Spooners can confirm it was Matt Burton’s pre game warmup with the boot that caused the rain.
Burton is able to kick the ball so high that it acts like a Cloud Seeding agent, and brings instant rain.
We can confirm that a CSIRO scientist was at the game, and met with Burton after the match to get his phone number ahead of the next drought in Australia and also asked him not to practice bombs in the off season, with another very wet summer looming.
MANLY FAN CAN’T DECIDE IT IS IRONY THAT THERE WAS A DOWNPOUR WITHOUT SUN TO BRING OUT A RAINBOW FOR THEIR LAST GAME OF A SEASON RUINED BY A RAINBOW JERSEY, OR THAT THE DOWNPOUR WAS A NOAH’S ARK LIKE RELIGIOUS NOD. EITHER WAY, SAYS SEASON SUCKED ARSE.
Manly fans passing the Wooden Spooners Conversation Tent, which attends the minor games of the weekend, and doubled up as a Covid Testing tent at the height of the Pandemic, was filled full of hopefully Bulldogs fans looking toward 2023.
But there was one Manly fan, Newcombe Net (fake name), who was wondering what the loss really meant.
With the title above he wasn’t sure what the issue was, but he was sure it was “that bloody rainbow jersey which ruined the club’s season.”
Rumours that Des Hasler is set for the sack, despite him fronting the media for the rainbow jersey instead of those in the club who made the decision, seemed to also annoy our Manly fan. “Pretty bloody ungrateful that is. Made Dessy front the media to apologise when it wouldn’t have had anything to do with him.”
WOODEN SPOONERS UNFAIR QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Q: Should the Broncos sack Kevin Walters as coach?
A: Yes. Adam Reynolds is ready.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
