A self-confessed ‘armchair expert’ has fired up on Facebook with a massive rant about the Australian Open.
Peter, a mid-40s warehouse manager, doesn’t follow tennis for 11 months of the year, but felt the need to speak out after absorbing all the clickbait headlines on Facebook while casually scrolling his phone.
He called every single tennis player “arrogant, self-absorbed a**holes who wouldn’t know a real day’s hard work if it bit them on the bum.” He also said he was “entitled to his opinion as he was in a social tennis group in his 20s”, but found the game boring and involving too much running for his liking. However, he did concede that Dylan Alcott and Ash Barty were “ok.”
Peter got so much backlash from angry tennis fans that he had to turn off the comments, but he loved the adrenaline rush of arguing with everyone.
“Mayte, everyone’s entitled 2 un opinion n mine is as valid as every1 elses. Any1 who says otherwise can piss off,” Peter wrote in a further Facebook post addressing his earlier rant.
It’s not the first time he’s teed off on sport, calling the Big Bash “boring hit and giggle cricket for sissies”, rugby league “as getting soft, but still the greatest gayme on earth”, rugby union “as being for poncy game for high school pretty boys” and AFL as “a sport for weak-willed p****s”.
In a surprising twist in this tale, Channel Nein have approached Peter to join their NRL commentary team.
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
