The 2021 NRL Grand Final has been run and won, and congratulations to the Penrith Panthers on their 2021 Premiership win, but going deeper than just the result is the Wooden Spooners’ NRL Grand Final Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the 2021 NRL Grand Final Headlines gives the extra insight from the Grand Final that only the Wooden Spooners can.
There was so much action on the night it is hard to keep up with everything going on, but thankfully the Wooden Spooners are here to fill in the gaps.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
SAVVY BRISBANE RUGBY LEAGUE FANS PAY HUNDRED TO AVOID WATCHING ONE GAME ON CHANNEL NEIN
For many rugby league fans and Fox League snobs alike, there comes that dreaded realisation at around 5:30ish on Sunday evening that the big game is one of those nights where you have to suffer Channel Nein.
Despite Braith Anasta, Fox League provides professional, insight-filled commentary and great commentary teams. As well as countless ads for Red Rooster.
Channel Nein provide mates, and commentary that grates. Not just Gus either.
So savvy Brisbane rugby league fans decided that watching a lop-sided State of Origin on Channel Nein was bad enough, so they not only spent hundreds of bucks per ticket, but also on the associated jerseys of their temporary new team.
One punter we caught on his way into Suncorp on Sunday explained the vibe of so many Queenslanders, “Well we was smart a few weeks ago and got tickets to the Grand Final even though the Broncos have been shit this season we couldn’t suffer Gus or the rest of the clowns one more time this year. We could have spent the money on a shitload of piss to drown it out like most years, but with the Grand Final in Brisbane we thought we’d spoil ourselves.”
REF’S BOSS GRAHAM ANNESLEY HAPPY THAT GUS GOULD IS THE POST MATCH TALKING POINT ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Graham Annesley was relived man on Monday morning with the referees and The Bunker not being the controversial thing discussed for a change post-game.
Annesley said to us off the record, “The NRL did everything possible to ensure refereeing decisions weren’t the talking point on the Monday. We started by not appointing Ashley Klein as the referee and went from there.”
But the only controversial fallout from the game was Gus Gould’s commentary.
Rugby League fans on social media accused Gus of being both 100% biased towards Penrith and favouring South Sydney at the same time. Social media was divided about which side Gus was being biased for or against.
Having been one of those savvy Brisbane fans who attended the game we can’t comment on the bias, but we do have results from a quick poll on our Facebook page.
STERLO GONE, RABS SOON, NRL TO FOLLOW CHANNEL NEIN CRICKET INTO IRRELEVANCE
With Peter Sterling stepping down from his role at Channel Nein, with reputation intact after decades of quality contributions (have to trust them since Fox League) rugby league fans and Fox League snobs are calling it the ‘Jump the Shark’ moment.
With Rabs soon to retire or be converted into a cyborg/Robo-Commentator half man-half broadcasting robot, the old lineup is getting a bit thin.
Gus Gould looks likely to remain, which won’t help.
But many people who flooded our inbox with post-NRL Grand Final opinions are calling this the beginning of the end.
One email from Geoff at Wacol explains, “Sterlo was one of the originals left who didn’t piss everyone off nor get into Michael Slater territory where everything was about them and their career. It’s gonna end up like the cricket on Nein. Although if I’m honest, nothing will ever be that bad. I look forward to watching NRL on Channel Ten soon.”
NRL TO ANNOUNCE NEW 17TH TEAM ON THE BACK OF SUNCORP GRAND FINAL SUCCESS
The Wooden Spooners have been given inside information that the new NRL team will be the Dolphins (announced on Wednesday). And just in time before the weekend’s Intrust Super Cup Grand Final to be played at Redcliffe.
Only one thing remains to be decided is what their name will be.
Despite the team being based in Brisbane for mostly Brisbane fans, the NRL think tank have come up with the new name to cover all bases, including all fans from Australia and New Zealand despite no similar consideration given to Sydney teams such as Cronulla, Manly, or Penrith. Rugby league fans are not as keen on their geography these days and who could blame them with the internet killing the atlas and UBD.
So we can exclusively reveal that the new 17th NRL team will be the ‘Brisbane-SEQ-Moreton Bay-but-Not-Redcliffe Dolphins.’
IAN MOSS REFUSES TO LET THEM BUTCHER BOW RIVER TOO
Along with Gus Gould’s commentary, pre-match entertainment is always one of the big social media talking points after any NRL Grand Final. And usually both topics receive a lot of uncomplimentary reviews.
This year the headline song was Flame Trees, sung by Ian Moss and Kate Miller-Heidke and friends.
Flame Trees (ironically a song inspired by NSW’s Grafton given the border restrictions), was given a modern twist that didn’t go down too well with fans.
In another Wooden Spooners exclusive we can reveal what Ian Moss told us as we lined up for a pie together.
“Yeah had to do that one for the cameras and co-performers, but there’s no way on earth if I let them ruin Bow River. It is a song I wrote and get all the money for and Flame Trees was written by Don Walker and Steve Prestwich, so I don’t mind ruining their song, just not mine.”
50% OF NRL GRAND FINAL CROWD DON’T KNOW WHO TIMMY TRUMPET WAS THE OTHER 50% DON’T CARE AND JUST WANTED THE FOOTBALL TO START
Much to the bemusement of many at Suncorp Stadium, Timmy Trumpet was wheeled out as part of the entertainment.
It was a strange move by the NRL with Trumpet placing only 11th in a recent poll of NRL fans’ favourite musical instrument.
Of course electric guitar was first followed by acoustic guitar, drums, and harmonica. Bass guitar came last with zero votes, just behind whistling.
Mr Trumpet almost redeemed himself on the night by starting to play Call Me Al by Paul Simon, but his inability to complete the song marked his scorecard down even further.
PUNTERS CLEAN UP ON THE UNDER 0.5 WAYNE BENNETT SMILES MARKET
GurglerBet – the Official Betting Partner of The Gurgler website – offered some unique markets for the 2021 NRL Grand Final.
Some savvy punters cleaned up on some of those bets too.
Like the Wayne Bennett ‘under 0.5 smiles caught on camera’ at the delicious odds of $1.87.
Also popular and successful but less lucrative was the first Ian Moss song choice of Tucker’s Daughter at $1.20.
