It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have cast their eye over the weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 18 Weekend Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 18 Weekend Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
Please note that the Wooden Spooners headlines will be packing up and to Tokyo for a week to bring back the Commonwealth Games for Brisbane.
EVERYBODY LOVES SAVAGE
The Canberra Raiders will release a new docuseries – exclusive to Kayo and Foxtel – called Everybody Loves Savage.
While not as dramatic as the Wests Tigers’ doco, ELS will simply follow Savage around as he trains and plays for the Raiders and shows everyone how fucking awesome he is.
“The NRL, Nein and Fox have a hard on for the Easts boy Suaalii, but we all know our boy Savage is a million times better!” said Raiders coach Ricky Stuart.
“Mark my words, Savage will be the next legendary Raiders fullback, joining Belcher, Mullins, Schifcofske, a pre-rooftop Dugan, and CNK.”
INSERT “VICTORIANS DON’T CARE” JOKE HERE
With the Melbourne Storm winning their 14th game in a row and sailing to a minimum top two finish (and probably another minor premiership), the hard-working team at the Wooden Spooners decided to make another joke about the majority of Victorians not giving a toss about “the Rugby”, that the Storm would be more appreciated in Queensland, the Victorian grand final bandwagoners blah, blah, blah.
But, with Victoria going through ANOTHER snap lockdown, we felt it would be cruel to make fun of Aussie Rules-obsessed Victorians this week.
Plus, the joke is getting old and boring now. Instead, we’ll wait until the Storm make the grand final again when all your Victorian mates suddenly have the Storm logo as their Facebook profile pic. It’s only fair.
READ MORE – Wooden Spooners Exclusive – Victorian Rugby League Community Meeting
THE BRONCOS’ JOKE OF THE WEEK
After a solid win against Cronulla-Sutherland, and a bye, Brisbane hosted the Wests Tigers on a beautiful Sunday afternoon at Lang Park.
The reigning wooden spooners led 24-20 after 51 minutes, and then conceded 22 straight points to lose 42-24.
That’s it. That’s the joke.
DCE “RESTED” FROM FRIDAY’S CLASH
Daly Cherry-Evans was rested from Manly’s clash on the Gold Coast, which made perfect sense given he played in the Origin clash just two days prior.
But the Wooden Spooners have reports that it was due to the reception their captain DCE got while playing for Queensland.
A Manly insider told us off the record, “Manly may be unpopular, but even we didn’t want to be booed as much as we expected being Manly, in Queensland, with DCE running us out onto the pitch.”
Daly Cherry-Evans is still hated by Gold Coast rugby league fans around long enough to remember him reneging on a massive deal to play with the Titans.
LACHLAN LEWIS TIPS CARNEY MEDAL BACK TO BULLDOGS
Artists Impression
A cold war of NRL stupidity is threatening to break out between clubs, especially the Bulldogs and Dragons.
And who knows where it will all end up for the Carney Medal – the NRL’s stupidest act for the season.
The Bulldogs set a recent standard for poor behaviour with a trip to a Bondi pub that led to five players being banned and the Bulldogs fielding a weak side against Manly. They were thrashed 66-0 for their troubles.
Having seen the Bulldogs’ COVID-19 bans the Dragons, courtesy of Paul Vaughan and friends, blew the Bulldogs out of the water by more than doubling the COVID-19 bans.
On Sunday night Lachlan Lewis attempted to regain control of the Carney Medal with a complete brainsnap with Cody Walker going into half-time in their game against the Rabbitohs.
The Bulldogs have overcome an early 10-0 deficit to lead 12-10 at the break.
With a win dangerously into play, the Bulldogs’ five-eighth jumped on and tackled Walker after a few seconds of banter as they left the field.
The brave Bulldogs went close to beating Souths on the night, and the 10 minutes Lewis was off the field ultimately proved costly.
QLD GOVT WARN REECE WALSH AND TYRONE ABOUT BREAKING NRL COVID BUBBLE
One big moment from the pulsating game between the Warriors and the Panthers was the scuffle between Warriors fullback Reece Walsh and Penrith’s Tyrone May.
The wrestle almost ended up in the crowd, which was not lost on the Queensland Government.
A spokesperson for Queensland Health told the Wooden Spooners that Reece Walsh and Tyrone May were officially warned after the game for a near-breach of the NRL COVID-19 bubble. And that any further indiscretion could result in the whole NRL being jeopardised.
When pressed further on today’s events, Kevin Walters said he didn’t think that Reece Walsh was ready for a mid-NRL game scuffle.
KANE EVANS AVAILABLE FOR KIDS PARTIES
Artists Impression
A sidenote to the Warriors-Panthers clash on Sunday was the footage of what was written on the Warriors forward Kane Evan’s arm.
It featured a four letter word. But being the Warriors it certainly wasn’t on Nine/Nein (as in Channel Nine/Nein), as in because it is the Warriors Channel Nine wouldn’t know who they were.
But Evans claims it was all part of the act. He is currently learning magic for a side gig of children’s parties as a clown.
The offensive text actually opens up into a chain of hankerchiefs and then a dove.
He also said he has something special to come out of his hat.
The Wooden Spooners declined the offer to find out.
