It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners cast their eye over the weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 12 Weekend Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 12 Weekend Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our legal team for complaints.
Sticky’s Desperate Move
A frustrated Canberra Raiders coach Ricky Stuart has pulled out one final rabbit to save their season. From round 14, he will captain-coach the Raiders, taking over from Sam Williams at halfback.
“I know I haven’t played footy in over 20 years, but I guarantee you I’ll show more ticker then most of the boys out there,” said Stuart. “Plus I’ll be able to lift the boys on the field when we blow a 10-point lead and start falling apart. Again!”
Stand tuned for more….
The Wests Tigers’ Grand Plan
The Wests Tigers’ win over St George Illawarra has motivated coach Michael Maguire to dream of another ninth place finish.
“We’ll probably only need 10 wins to finish ninth, so we’re almost halfway there,” said Maguire.
“I look forward to rallying in the second half of the season only to crush our long-suffering fans’ hopes by just missing the finals. Again.”
Stand tuned for more….
Brisbane to Rename Suncorp Stadium for Future Storm Games
After sealing a 10th consecutive loss to Melbourne at their own home ground, Brisbane Broncos management are seriously considering renaming Suncorp Stadium whenever Melbourne play there.
With Kevin Walters running out of excuses for another loss and unable to drop Anthony Milford for future games, the superstitious Walters has asked Broncos management to consider calling it ‘The Caxton Stadium’ or potentially renaming it after Queensland-based superannuation fund Sunsuper when the Storm next play in Brisbane.
“People seem to confuse Suncorp and Sunsuper so maybe the Storm won’t notice the name change and change their luck,” said Walters.
Stand tuned for more….
Queensland State of Origin Fans Hope That Dane Gagai Hasn’t Peaked Early
Dane Gagai, the only winger in State of Origin history to win Player of the Series, has sparkled for the Rabbitohs in their welcome win over the Eels.
The Rabbitohs centre scored a hat-trick as they ran out convincing 38-20 winners.
But his performance was met with some concern north of the Tweed.
Geoff, who was enjoying a schooner of XXXX Gold at the Muddy Farmer Hotel, offered this opinion when the Wooden Spooners approached him for a comment after placing a $3 Mystery Trifects bet on the third race at Gatton today.
“Well Dean Gagain has been great for Queensland in Origins lately, but usually does stuff all for Souths. I’m hoping he hasn’t peaked early.”
Stand tuned for more….
Kalyn Ponga On Track For Miraculous Qld Origin Recovery from Injury That Stopped From Playing for Newcastle
Newcastle star Kalyn Ponga has declared himself ready for State of Origin Game One, despite being ruled out for Newcastle this weekend.
Claims that he is prioritising Origin over the Knights was met initially with a straight face and followed a few seconds later with a small snigger.
Reports that the Ponga cupboard is stuffed with that magic water spray that they use in European football when the players recover from near-death by bicycle kicking are unconfirmed.
Stand tuned for more….
Cody Walker on Stand By for Origin Scapegoat Duties
Livewire South Sydney five eighth Cody Walker may have missed out on the first NSW Blues State of Origin team, but he has been assured by NSW management that he remains on stand by to be blamed for a future NSW series loss if the current selected halves fail to fire.
After sealing two scapegoats in his four-game State of Origin career thus far, Walker was keen to add another soon.
Stand tuned for more….
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