They said we’d never make it, and with a usual readership that would fall well below any country’s Coronavirus group restrictions, this website has made it to 2,000 articles, and we have decided to ditch the usual self deprecation for a wheel barrow of self indulgent tripe with out The Gurgler Website 2000 Articles Spectacular.
2,000 articles is a lot of rubbish really, way too much time spent for such little reward. Offering either way-too-long stat-filled sporting articles, discussion of the most obscure things possible like Spaced themed Shopping Centres, or why we’d let a bear loose in the Big Brother house or general attempts at humour that have a real 2am finish feel about them. Our level of garbage is only surpassed by the Courier Mail in Queensland.
If you thought our 1000 article spectacular was complete garbage, and very self-indulgent, then you’ll be happy to know this will be just as bad. But perhaps with a little less effort than that one.
We have tried to live by the mission statement of creating a website that no one reads, and for the most of it have upheld those values.
You may ask, what’s the point in all this self indulgent tripe. Well first of all, how rude and up yours. Secondly, add a grape. A lot of hard work has gone into this to produce 2,000 articles in just over 6 years, and not celebrating this achievement would be like winning an annual excellence award and not showing up to the award ceremony.
It may not have been good at times, or if ever, but it is worth raising the bat, even if the readership is lower than a midweek Sheffield Shield match. Although, you can hear that sweet, sweet echo of Sheffield Shield boundary applause everything time you visit the website.
So if you aren’t interested in a small piece of history for a website that has offered quantity over quality, then look away now. Otherwise, enjoy our The Gurgler Website 2000 Articles Spectacular.
ALTERNATIVE SPORTING COVERAGE
Sport is at the heart of most of what we do at The Gurgler, and it does bring in the majority of our readers. People seem to love our Premier League coverage that goes way too long and has more barely interesting stats than one could ever want.
It’s not just Premier League football, there’s most other football from across the world, rugby league, F1, sports betting, yachting, sport quizzes, celebration of forgotten Olympians, and so much more that we can’t even remember.
And importantly, no rugby union.
So the tradition of delivering alternative sporting coverage, be it our own Premier League fixture difficulty, F1 driver of the year, NRL tips decided on each team’s record v Sonny Bill Williams, A to Z of all things rugby league that aren’t popular, championing the cause of PNG rugby league, and so many barely interesting facts will continue into the future.
PEOPLE SAY WE’RE OBSESSED, ESPECIALLY WITH A CERTAIN GOLFER
Regular visitors and concerned family members have pointed out The Gurgler website and its obsession with certain people.
Just because we feature more nude Greg Norman than most websites, if not all websites, doesn’t make us weirdos.
Take a look at a few of our Greg Norman themed album covers (as per the social media challenge trend during Covid lockdown) below and not admire the former number 1 golfer in the world.
For the record, he’s still our number one.
Aside from admiring retired golfing stars, we tend to celebrate the forgotten, or those who we feel don’t get the recognition they deserve.
People like football league legend Adebayo Akinfenwa. Former F1 journeyman Pierluigi Martini, Loudy Wiggins – winner of our Forgotten Australian Olympians poll in 2016,
Only The Gurgler would feature a poll of Forgotten Australian Olympians (no gold allowed).
Then we have our person of the Year.
Take a look through our Gurgler Person of the Year winners to see who are the people that us and our readers have loved the most over the years. Funnily enough, humans have not always won the Person of the Year.
2019 – Bandit Heeler from Bluey
2018 – SBS World Cup Coverage / Greg Norman
2017 – Farmer from Shaun the Sheep
THE WORLD IS FULL OF SO MANY JERKS. THEY DESERVE AN AWARD.
One almost sad thing for The Gurgler website is that our Jerk of the Month is one of the more popular regulars. Another sad things is that the nomination list every month is bulging.
Although in a slight twist, Nick Kyrgios hasn’t been nominated in 2020, and is becoming a voice of reason in tennis against other teniis star’s Covid stupidity. If anything underlines just how out-of-whack 2020 is, here is your proof.
A regular every month has been the Jerk of the Month which all rolls into the Jerk of the Year.
Not hard to believe that many of the 2020 Jerk of the Month nominations and winners have links to Covid-19 or are Donald Trump.
We nominate in addition to nominations received from our loyal readers, and the readers themselves vote for the overall “winner”.
Nominations do tend to favour Australian jerks due to geography, but we do also try to collect the biggest jerks from all around the world each month. And each month you the loyal reader can vote and nominate.
You can check out the back catalogue of Jerks via this link.
But just for fun is our Honour Roll for Jerk of the Year. And the monthly winners so far in 2020.
2019 – Israel Folau – former rugby union player and full of hate modern commentator. Future career at Sky News pending.
2018 – David Warner / Donald Trump – Warner had a bad 2018, most wish Trump badness stopped at 2018.
2017 – Jarryd Hayne / Bernard Tomic / Donald Trump – Two former sporting jerks who never quite achieved their best. An insult that both were as bad as Trump in 2017.
2016 – Channel Nein Cricket Commentary Team – former sports broadcasters who made summer sport in Australia unwatchable.
2020 So Far
January – Scott Morrison
February – Domestic Violence / MAFS
March – Coronavirus Panic Buyers / Coronavirus Quarantine Flouters
April – Victorian Porsche Driver & Donald Trump
May – Derek Chauvin
June – Sam Newman & Donald Trump
July – Border Bratz
August – Donald Trump
A HOME FOR OBSCURE CRAP
A theme over the years has been highlighting the obscure, forgotten and forgettable things in the world.
Things like spaced themed shopping centres in 1970’s suburban Brisbane, deciding which is the best potato, voting on the best backing band of all time,
And occasionally like a stopped clock our path crosses with mainstream media like when the local news featured Space City in their Sunday bulletin. Our Space City piece remains the all time leading story for The Gurgler website.
A moan about reality TV and Yoplait yoghurt also features on the top ten of all time.
The top ten of all time also features our new football articles, something about boxing undercards, and our recent Premier League gear.
But The Gurgler has never been about the high volumes of reads. It’s always been about the rubbish that has got 0-5 reads. Most of those of friends and family out of sympathy, but hey a visitor is a visitor.
THANKS TO ALL BUT THAT’S ENOUGH RUBBISH FOR NOW
To be honest, at this stage even we are tiring of our own self indulgent tripe, but before we go we’d like to thanks a few people.
To the friends and family who politely encourage us to continue despite varying depths of quality, with the occasional like on social media or raised eyebrow in the office or home, we thank you for the support.
To Frankington Stanley, the constant support for WDT is appreciated, and the ideas are good.
To our IT department and SEO strategist Matt, thanks for applying the bandaids. We do love admin here at The Gurgler.
To Andrew our chief editor, sorry for making you read some of the tripe, and thanks for the additional content.
Finally, we thank Berocca and Red Bull, without which, this website wouldn’t have passed 500 at this stage. Perhaps with Narcotics, but we are way too cheap for that.
