2020 sucks, it really, really sucks. You only have to look at this month’s list of Jerk nominations, and especially the Border Bratz who are the winners of July 2020 Jerk of the Month.
Their behaviour was as selfish as it comes. So along with Coronavirus, the hatred of most of the state, a Courier Mail front page, and an alleged bunch of handbags, they have the Jerk of the Month award to remind themselves of themselves.
You get the feeling we probably won’t hear from them again until it is time to champion the Jerk of the Year. The same can’t be said for a number of other nominees from July.
We get the feeling that Anti Maskers will be back, especially the jerk who thinks they can justify not wearing a mask because of human rights by ruining the human rights of another by smashing a police officer’s head into concrete. Just lovely. It’s not enough to be stupid these days. You have to be nuclear f—ing dumb.
You know Trump will be back. Every month. Until after he officially concedes the 2020 Presidential Election in September 2021 after the third legal challenge and appeal is heard and thrown out.
Hopefully by then Trump will pack the clever flu into his hair and fly off to the planet Zoeller and is never heard from again. Taking with him all the awful people he has hired in the process.
Hopefully by next month the world will be a better place and we can all hold hands together and sing We Are The World. Well, that doesn’t look likely in Victoria. Or USA. Or Brazil. Or Spain. Or many places.
Well, maybe we can just do it in Queensland.
Except for you Deb Frecklington. You’re not invited with your border bashing and about-facing. Thankfully, or hopefully, your come-uppence is coming at the ballot box.
VOTING RESULTS – July 2020 Jerk of the Month
This is how you voted this month.
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July 2020 Jerk of the Month Nomination Form Guide
You may notice the Jerk Rating with each nomination, an explanation of the D, I and C is available at the end.
“WINNERS” – BORDER BRATZ
Lying, border sneaking bratz.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Now before going on to discuss the tremendous exploits of the most selfish, ignorant twits in Queensland history, please note they are nominated for their actions. Not based on any prejudice.
For all we care they could be purple, they could have yellow with red polka dot skin, they could have a mohawk, have a metre long beard and enter those beard competitions in Germany, spend their spare time impersonating a ladder, enjoy watching A Current Affair and MAFS, play rugby union, support Manly or the MK Dons, work for Channel Nein sport, be a rockmelon daring to impersonate a honey dew melon, have a surname of Bakery, bat left-handed, throw a tantrum every time they don’t win at chess, drive their ute around like a inconsiderate jerk when it is hard rubbish time, continue to maintain that Yoplait is french for yoghurt, or drink Soy Milk/Diet Coke and they still would be nominated for jerk of the month.
Thanks to the complete selfishness, and deplorable diligaf attitude to the rest of the Queensland people who have done the right thing for months (well, except for that doctor, in Rockhampton and the nurse going to Blackwater for sunsets, and that dickhead neighbour of mine who plays his shit doof doof music and had multiple parties for multiple people during the harshest time of lockdown in Qld) is a disgrace.
Not that they care though.
If they did, I would say that you are the most hated people in Queensland, and may hold the title for some time. You will cost the state businesses so many millions of dollars by the end of it. Your actions could lead to deaths. And affect millions of people if lockdown is enforced. Hope the handbags were worth it.
And then the race card will be played, but please refer above for our answer on that.
The only upside for the Border Bratz could be for Gus Gould and Paul Gallen and their de-thronement of Qld’s most hated people.
JERK RATING 1000%
D – 100/10 I – 100/10 C – 100/10
JERK – CORONAVIRUS aka COVID-19
Pandemic with menace
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Every month we nominate this crippling worldwide menace, and every month we hope to remove it the next month.
Given that most of the below nominations are here because of something Coronavirus related, it has the lead the list.
JERK RATING 1000%
D – 100/10 I – 100/10 C – 100/10
JERK – DONALD J TRUMP
POS-US and you can guess what the J stands for.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
What’s worse than all of Trump’s behaviour?
It’s when all of a sudden he seems to want to wear a mask and care about Coronavirus.
Just a mere 150,000 deaths in.
F— you.
JERK RATING 2000%
D – 200/10 I – 200/10 C – 200/10
JERK – BORDER BRATZ
Lying, border sneaking bratz.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Now before going on to discuss the tremendous exploits of the most selfish, ignorant twits in Queensland history, please note they are nominated for their actions. Not based on any prejudice.
For all we care they could be purple, they could have yellow with red polka dot skin, they could have a mohawk, have a metre long beard and enter those beard competitions in Germany, spend their spare time impersonating a ladder, enjoy watching A Current Affair and MAFS, play rugby union, support Manly or the MK Dons, work for Channel Nein sport, be a rockmelon daring to impersonate a honey dew melon, have a surname of Bakery, bat left-handed, throw a tantrum every time they don’t win at chess, drive their ute around like a inconsiderate jerk when it is hard rubbish time, continue to maintain that Yoplait is french for yoghurt, or drink Soy Milk/Diet Coke and they still would be nomiated for jerk of the month.
Thanks to the complete selfishness, and deplorable diligaf attitude to the rest of the Queensland people who have done the right thing for months (well, except for that doctor, in Rockhampton and the nurse going to Blackwater for sunsets, and that dickhead neighbour of mine who plays his shit doof doof music and had multiple parties for multiple people during the harshest time of lockdown in Qld) is a disgrace.
Not that they care though.
If they did, I would say that you are the most hated people in Queensland, and may hold the title for some time. You will cost the state businesses so many millions of dollars by the end of it. Your actions could lead to deaths. And affect millions of people if lockdown is enforced. Hope the handbags were worth it.
And then the race card will be played, but please refer above for our answer on that.
The only upside for the Border Bratz could be for Gus Gould and Paul Gallen and their de-thronement of Qld’s most hated people.
JERK RATING 1000%
D – 100/10 I – 100/10 C – 100/10
JERK – PETE EVANS
Used to cook with fruit as TV chef now just a full time fruit.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
We wish he was just an unlikable douche judge on a cooking show.
Now he’s so much more.
And less.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
ANTI-MASKERS
People who don’t like wearing masks, or saving others.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
It is proven just how much wearing a mask can save, but of course like most things in life why listen to experts who have been the best at their profession for years when your head-up-your-arse, snippet-from-social-media -logic is far more appealing and accurate.
While there may or may not be evidence in ant-vaxxers arguments, there are very few good ones against wearing a mask. If any. Or too many.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
KAREN FROM BUNNINGS
Person who doesn’t like masks or Bunnings.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Like Adolf before her, Karen has done some significant brand damage of her first name on behalf of so many other Karens who do the right thing.
But 24 Hour Coronavirus news does like a good poster child for insolence.
Like the age old No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service, if Bunnings wants a mask and you want to shop there, wear one. It’s simple. No DIY class required at Bunnings to sort out that one.
Having a hissy fit over wearing something a shop requires for entry is an embarrassment for yourself as an adult. Let alone wearing something that protects the poor staff you are abusing stinks royal.
Invoking human rights and laws whilst ranting about freedom is a tiring new trend. Two facebook posts by a crackpot, half arsed conspiracy theorist, and fools think they know the law. Unlike Judge Dredd who is the law.
Amazing how all of a sudden people become law experts.
Coronavirus brings out the worst and best within each person.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10′
EVE BLACK
Border crossing, Covid 19 denying buffoon.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Sadly another person who has become way too famous in July for being a Facebook law warrior.
Smiling her way across the NSW border, she eventually got come-uppence when a subsequent refusal to help police ended in her arrest and a visit from Windscreens O’Brien.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
CONSPIRACY THEORISTS
People who think stuff up
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Like a drunk at the cricket, conspiracy theorists may be slightly amusing, and occasionally interesting at first. But if you give them too many smiles, too many likes, too much attention, by the end of the day you just want to run onto the cricket field and pick up one of the stumps (preferably the one with the mic in it) and belt them with it.
Same goes for the many, many conspiracy theorists that are being churned out.
Of course Coronavirus is fake. It gets in its fake boat and travels to the end of the flat map of the earth where it just falls into whatever flat earth theorists think happens at the end of the map. All while having Zoom meetings via 5G, whilst explaining that the world is going to end when the next lunar eclipse is in the same year as both Sheffield clubs are in the Premier League.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
VICTORIA
Covid riddled state
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
All it took was people from one state to potentially drag the rest of the country back into lockdown.
Restrictions aren’t working and the rest of us suffer.
A special call out for the people trying to illegally get into another state.
It’s not all of Victoria’s fault mind you. But for the time being they can stay there.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
SOCIAL MEDIA
Relentless consuming beast
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
For giving far too many of the above a platform.
JERK RATING 400%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 100/10
FB
FB
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Some people are just jerks.
JERK RATING 100%
D – 10/10 I – 10/10 C – 10/10
BRONCOS / BRONCOS FANS
Underwhelming NRL side
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
A nomination from one of our readers, and they do deserve to get a bit of a caning. Losing is one thing, but looking like you’re not trying pisses people off.
As for Broncos fans, the sense of entitlement belongs on the jerk list.
It’s sport, and from time to time your team will stink.
This doesn’t happen very often for the Broncos so suck it up while it happens.
At least it isn’t football where you can get relegated if you are truly awful.
And the rest of us suffer nearly every Friday of Thursday night as the Broncos offer up their dross instead of the other games, where at least six of the seven would be better for the neutral.
JERK RATING 90%
D – 9/10 I – 9/10 C – 9/10
HARRY & MEGHAN
Boring ex Royals
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Boring.
Slightly better or more interesting than Anti Maskers.
Just.
Enough of the tedious who said what that clogs up a news report. Save it for A Current Affair or Channel 10 so no one will watch or care.
Whilst we’r at it, is Royal Commentator the most useless job in history. Or is it a food critic. Or influencer. That’s a debate for another month.
JERK RATING 10%
D – 1/10 I – 0/10 C – 2/10
JOHNNY DEPP AND AMBER HEARD
Boring celebrities.
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Nothing like dirty laundry being aired across the news every night.
It’s right up there with a punch to the face.
JERK RATING 10%
D – 1/10 I – 1/10 C – 1/10
ELLEN
Former daytime TV queen
Why have they been such a jerk this month?
Seems like allegedly being a jerk behind the scenes of a massive TV show catches up on you.
Still, she’s nicer to people than anyone from MAFS.
JERK RATING 33%
D – 5/10 I – 1/10 C – 4/10
New Jerk Rating system
A new feature for 2020 is the enhanced Jerk rating to go along with the Jerk of the Month form guide each month.
Previously it was just a flat /10 mark, but we think there’s more layers than that. What needs to be considered is how big the jerk act was in the current month compared to their usual way of life. How important the person is, i.e. a person who should know/do better or just a random person who couldn’t help themselves. Finally, how consistently a jerk they are. The more they are, the more they deserve your vote in general.
D – Dastardly – For instance, a random footballer king hitting a referee is pretty bad, where yet another tantrum from a Tomic type person would be lower.
I – Importance – Was the jerk act at a big event, captured the world’s attention, or made by someone in a position who should know plenty better.
C – Consistency – Is the person a Jerk all the time, and with each new month’s nomination grows into your vote.
