In case you missed it, CUB launched a range of beers designed with the colours and logo of Collingwood after running a competition for fans asking for some great ideas for Alternative Australian Sporting Beer Cans.
Hard to argue against Collingwood being one of the most supported teams in the country and therefore deserving of some Australian Sporting Beer cans, but where is the originality.
As a website that prides itself on delivering the alternatives in life, please enjoy our alternatives to the Collingwood themed beer cans. For the teams or sporting endeavours that are likely to never receive such an honour.
Our Alternative Australian Sporting Beer Cans
NORMAN’S NUDE IPA
There’s nothing more refreshing than seeing off a hot summer day than you share it with a beer featuring Greg Norman wearing only a hat, and a sultry glare.
And it’s perfect for that taste after a hard slog of 18 holes. Or any sports.
What better way to honour one of Australia’s most legendary sports people, than with their infamous shot with nothing on.
As you’d expect, it is best drank with nothing else, on.
JACK HIGH ALE
Lawn bowls is one of the more forgotten sports in Australia, and who better to front the tin than the sport’s most enigmatic player of all time.
Chances are if you remember anything bowls related, you’ll remember bowls’ ultimate showman – Rob Parella.
You’ll be chasing a few these beauties, just as Rob chased his deliveries down the green.
But, he insists you shouldn’t drink these and drive.
CAN O CAPPER
One of Australia’s best ever sports personalities surely deserves his own Australian Sporting Beer Can.
With a similar affection for removing his clothes, and being a real entertainer on the field, it is the perfect beer follow up to a Nude Norman – Jack High session.
Comes with a free stubby cooler that is almost too tight to fit around the can.
DNF
Mark Webber continues our line of enigmatic alternative Australian sporting heroes, who we are honouring with our Alternative Australian Sporting Beer Cans.
Although we slightly mock him, and he is known for his creative DNFs, he was still one fine F1 pilot who won the Monaco Grand Prix twice. Probably should have been a World Champion in 2010. But now he can have a beer to drown those sorrows, if they still remain.
The picture is not to scale, as the real can is 3,400mL and 9% alcohol, which makes it awfully hard to finish.
JERK
Australian sports most unlikeable duo combine for this refreshing low strength Lager.
At 0.2% alcohol per can, it is much like their percentage of this pair winning anything without chucking a tantrum with. Which means you can enjoy as many as you can stomach.
However when it comes to jerk, no one comes close to these two.
The beer is as pissweak as they are.
THE LIMITED EDITION CELEBRATION CAN FOR GOLD COAST SPORTING ACHIEVEMENT
If you can remember the Rollers, Bears, Giants, Seagulls, Titans, Clive Palmer’s GC United, then you probably can’t remember much sporting success. Or perhaps you don’t remember any of these teams from the graveyard of Australian sport.
Since a black armband is worn when someone passes, this beer can is the ultimate tribute to all sport on the coast.
On a technicality, the Daikyo Dolphins won an Australian Baseball title, but they weren’t called Gold Coast, and we have featured them as one of the great forgotten sporting teams already.
It is a pretty cheap and nasty joke, and we could have also considered a similar tribute for Australian Bledisloe Cup success this decade or great moments in Channel Nein sports broadcasting.
