Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, and testing himself on the open market with a view to leave The Gurgler, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 8 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 8 Weekly Rant
Another week, another boring unhappy NRL player story wanting out dominating the news. But unlike the DCE saga which was as incredibly boring as the player himself, the Lachlan Galvin has some real spice.
Of course Isaac Moses is involved, he usually is. I thought he was banned, maybe he still is, it’s hard to know if you don’t really care. But Isaac Moses does come across as one of the NRL’s great villains. Like Reed Mahoney, The Bunker, the right side of the road when driving a car too fast and on drugs, and of course Buzz Rothfeld.
But maybe I’m wrong and an idiot and Isaac Moses is one of the great wheeler dealers, and maybe he should write a book of the Arts of Dealing or similar, and make a run for president. Not sure which country he could be president of. Can’t be Australia as we only have a Prime Minister and that is being decided as we speak. And as far as I know Isaac Moses hasn’t filled enough cars with petrol, been seen in a hardhat, or gone on tangents about Woolworths and Jesus to be Prime Minister. Or President. Given his love of a deal, perhaps there’s room in MAGA for his services. Or maybe he could be sent to Heard and McDonald Islands by Trump to get the tariffs off the penguins there. I’ve heard penguins are one of the hardest birds to make deals with, and can get quite slappy during negotiations.
Without wanting to get involved too much, Galvin does seem a little ungrateful. Very few players of his age would get an NRL start, let alone stomp around and ask for a pay cheque with six zeroes. He is entitled to look after himself, and I’m sure he has the right mix of investments in his superannuation account, but there is a nicer way of doing it.
And really it is the NRL’s fault to allow such an absurd transfer system where players can sign for another club years in advance and then spend half of that time asking for an early release. It doesn’t happen in most other jobs. If someone signs for another company there’s usually only a few weeks notice, and the person is treated to a modest to underwhelming morning tea where most of the people bought something from the nearby Seven Eleven because the person was pretty unlikeable and they deserve no less. Or instead of the six boxes of Cheezels, one small packet of Cashews and a packet of both Fisherman’s Friend and Anticol, people wanting to leave are told to pack up, get out, and stay out.
But among the press conferences, law suits, NRL 360 diatribes, Buzz Rothfield articles, Fox League exclusives, Gus Gould tweets, angry Facebook posts, team mate memes, Facebook Market Place ads for ex-Galvin Tigers jerseys, and word on the street, there is an idea to come out of the mess.
Instead of players going to all the trouble of stirring up clubs, and looking for releases through agents or lawsuits, but remembering the original club shouldn’t be punished by making a rival stronger, these players wanting out a sent to a spare NRL team.
Like rugby union’s Barbarians team. But unlike rugby union, these players will play a game that doesn’t suck – rugby league.
So anyone in DCE’s, or Galvin’s situation who sign with a club for a season beyond, and who want out, they are forced to play for the NRL Barbarians, and the Barbarians are made to play whoever has the bye each week as a training hitout for the bye clubs. Everyone wins. The wantaway players can play for another club. There’s an extra televised games for broadcasters, and Isaac Moses could get a coaches license and have an entire team of players. If he’s not too busy with penguins that is.
But that’s unfair to the team who has earned a bye.….here’s an even better idea. With the PNG team arriving in the coming seasons, perhaps the NRL Barbarians are made to join the PNG Rugby League weekly competition where they will have to face the Port Moresby Vipers, the Lae Snax Tigers and the many, many other teams that will be setting out to hurt them week in and week out.
This will not only give the PNG teams a taste of NRL quality opposition that will hopefully aid them in becoming a great success in the NRL when they enter the competition, but it could also serve as a deterrent for wantaway players knowing the alternative to contract moaning is getting smashed week in and week out by the ferociousness of the local PNG competition. Hopefully these games will be televised. I’ll pay extra.
Enough of life’s little worries, here’s this week’s expert selections. Although, from memory, and I don’t like to check, the expert tips are going really bad, so ignore these tips if you want.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 8 Expert Tips
BRISBANE v BULLDOGS
Reece Walsh’s is out for 4-6 weeks, which shouldn’t be too much of an impact on their game, as he has only played one good game in the 4-6 weeks of the season so far. Further upfield, good to see Xavier Willison getting the starting spot he deserves and his form has demanded. Talking of demanding, the Bulldogs six in a row to start the season demands applause, as does their ability to almost fill the Olympic Stadium in Sydney. Good Bulldogs is good for rugby league.
Bulldogs by 10
ROOSTERS v DRAGONS
Prepare your social media to be filled with millions of Lest We Forgets and for the NRL media to tell you a game between the Roosters and Dragons is exciting. It isn’t.
Roosters by 8
WARRIORS v NEWCASTLE
Newcastle have an away record on a Friday that is almost as bad as the Warriors jersey they wore last week. John West confirms they thought the jersey was dog salmon and rejected it.
Warriors by 28
MELBOURNE v RABBITOHS
The most lop sided H2H record in the NRL deserves the most lop sides tip of the week. The Storm’s underpant washing team are on emergency standby for this week’s training after their surprise flogging by the Dolphins. And as if Craig Bellamy will stand for a sniff of last week’s effort.
Storm by 50
NORTH QUEENSLAND v GOLD COAST
Well the Titans have peaked for 2025.
Cowboys by 18
PENRITH v MANLY
The emergency in the west is over, as Penrith flogging the Roosters in the second half of the game last weekend is a return to normal. Manly will probably be thankful they don’t have to go all the way to Penrith for this week’s game, so they save time in discussing how bad they went on the bus home.
Penrith by 34
CANBERRA v DOLPHINS
Considering I thought the Dolphins would be 0-7 at this points and they come into this game having beaten both Penrith and Melbourne in consecutive weeks means this result is less important. We’ll always have that second half flogging of the Storm, and not one, but two Ray Stone tries. And the only person in the world who hated his two tries was the man Ray Stone himself.
Dolphins by 2
WESTS TIGERS v CRONULLA
I’m tempted to pick the Tigers because it’s at Leichhardt and the Wests Tigers need a pick-me-up after a horrible week. I’m not tempted to watch, as there’s just something about a Sharks game on a Sunday that gives me zero interest. Not even 17 Nicho Hynes’ can get me moving.
Tigers by 4
