Faster than a Max Verstappen, more expendable than Liam Lawson, less boring than a Japanese Grand Prix, with more swearing than the FIA would like, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Japanese Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Bahrain Grand Prix Thoughts
Maybe the FIA knew all along that the Japanese Grand Prix would be so dull, which is why it is back to back with Bahrain. The only problem with that is that Bahrain usually produces one of the dullest races of the year. Especially when it isn’t the first race of the season. And especially when they used that full length course in 2010.
One wonder what kind of bullsh!t Netflix will come up with to make the Japanese Grand Prix interesting. Maybe Netflix aren’t allowed to make the Japanese Grand Prix interesting as a 40% tariff would apply to any Grands Prix that are more interesting than an American race. The Miami Grand Prix hasn’t happened yet, so there is no benchmark. At least Suzuka is a magnificent piece of F1 circuit-try, unlike Miami’s race in a carpark, under a highway, around a stadium that has been created just for Martin Brundle’s grid walk, and awkward introductions of drivers who have no idea who they are. In either direction. Is there anything funnier than a famous US rapper saying the name Pierre Gasly?
I don’t understand why they don’t use the Indy circuit instead. The shorter sub one minute lap feels more like Mario Kart than F1 and that is a good thing.
Well except they won’t be throwing bananas and turtles at each other, but wouldn’t that be so good. Unlike the breakfast drink So Good.
Imagine during a dull Bahrain Grand Prix that the drivers run over those boxes and receive a banana skin and throw them at Lance Stroll, or another driver waits until Lance Stroll is about to pit and hits him with one of those turtle shells. And how funny would the squid ink on the visors of the fellow drivers be. Incredibly dangerous as some safety loving people would counter, but still funny.
Maybe you go limit the Mario Kart period to just five laps, as you don’t want too much of a good thing.
One good thing heading into Bahrain is that people will be less interested in Red Bull drivers and therefore less interested in talking to Christian Horner. Less is always more.
That driver swap fallout will continue though, as Yuki Tsunoda’s underwhelming Japanese Grand Prix was compared to Liam Lawson’s awful Chinese/Australian Grand Prix, and none of them ended in points.
If the no points continue, I wonder when Red Bull will announce that they intend to ruin Isack Hadjar’s career with promotion. Hadjar might be keen to move after his awkward qualifying session last weekend.
Talking of no point, here are the bold predictions for this weekend’s Bahrain Grand Prix.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Bahrain Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
A race-long, nose-to-tail battle for first that sets up the season properly for a tension filled fight for the Championship. Won by Oscar Piastri.
RED BULL
Max Verstappen to qualify on the third row and miss the podium. Yuki Tsunoda won’t get into Q3.
FERRARI
Podium for Leclerc, struggles for Hamilton.
MERCEDES
Another quietly effective race. Kimi Antonelli from further back in the grid who entertains all with some late race overtaking.
WILLIAMS
More regret for Carlos Sainz.
RACING BULLS
Izack Hadjar to outperform the other non-Max Red Bull family drivers.
ALPINE
Unfortunately timed crash in qualifying for Jack Doohan. Camera pans to Reserve driver in pits.
ASTON MARTIN
Q3 and points for Alonso. Mechanical DNF for Stroll.
HAAS
Bearman to outqualify and out-race Ocon again.
KICK SAUBER
Maybe a point for Bortoleto.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CHINESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – DRIVERS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – TEAMS
2025 F1 SEASON – THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR AND AVOID
AI DOES F1 – TURNING CARS INTO ANIMALS
F1 2024 Season Stats
Want to remember what happened last season? Here’s a bunch of our best work to sum up the 2024 F1 Season.
F1 2024 FULL RACE REVIEWS ALL 24 RACES
