2024 will remembered for a lot of things, and not many of them were great. As ever The Gurgler has reviewed the worst of the worst and the people have now voted that the 2024 Jerk of the Year is Formula 1 driver Lance Stroll.
We did try and remain positive, even posting our 2024 Person/Thing of the Year before this, and the winner of that vote was also about speed. The difference being the 2024 Gurgler Person of the Year Gout Gout comes from a less silver spoon upbringing and has a real upward curve. And is likeable. And a feelgood story.
We nominated the following Jerk list, but ultimately the winner has been decided by you, the cynical, loyal reader of the Gurgler.
The final voting is done and dusted, and we sort-of congratulate Lance Stroll on the one thing he won this season.
The Gurgler’s Jerk of the Year “Honour” Roll
Here is the back catalogue of Gurgler Jerk of the Year “winners”
2023 – Evil Overlord
2022 – Donald Trump
2021 – Scott Morrison
2020 – Donald Trump
2019 – Israel Folau
2018 – David Warner and Donald Trump
2017 – Jarryd Hayne, Donald Trump, Bernard Tomic
2016 – Channel 9 Cricket Commentary
THE OFFICIAL 2024 JERK OF THE YEAR VOTING
Here is the final voting in all it’s glory.
2024 Jerk of the Year Winner – Lance Stroll
LANCE STROLL
Crowd chanting Drugovich’s name while Stroll beachs the car at Brazilian GP – YouTube
Lance Stroll is Formula One’s ultimate troll. Which fits nicely as it rhymes with his surname.
He appears to not care about being an F1 driver, which is also handy, as he isn’t the best one.
Worse still, star designer Adrian Newey has been hired to design future Aston Martins, which could bring him closer than he deserves to a World Championship winning car.
Hopefully, he gets bored and quits before then. Or there’s more races like Brazil 2024.
The accompanying YouTube clip is our favourite F1 clip of the season.
Other 2024 Jerk of the Year Nominations
US POLITICS
It’d be so easy to plonk Donald Trump here in pole position for 2024 Jerk of the Year, lord knows we have in previous years, and the four time #1 Jerk winner wouldn’t look out of place.
But he is really just a byproduct of the absurd US Politics in general in 2024.
From a sitting President who struggled to walk and talk, to a candidate who spent 40 minutes swaying to music and countless hours offending many, to a replacement candidate who struggled at times to make as much sense as the previously mentioned much older president, to the insane amounts of money spent on advertising, to a system where candidates essentially spend all that money on a handful of locations to the point where in over two-thirds of the states people feel it’s a waste of time voting.
Somehow it just seemed worse this year.
SPORTS VIDEO OFFICIATING
Following a sporting team is hard enough with the highs and lows of the actual sport and team without external influences also attempting to ruin your day, but here we are.
Be it football, rugby league, cricket, video refereeing or umpiring has not only sucked the fun out of key moments in sport, but the technology seems to either nitpick or make the same amount of errors that a human official would.
Even F1 has joined the party where lap times are deleted minutes after being set.
Sports Video Officiating is the ultimate killjoy.
It’s the worst of both worlds, and sadly here to stay.
And like last year, it’s nominated for Jerk of the Year.
SOCIAL MEDIA BUT MAINLY X
There’s no uglier place on earth, aside from a suburban pub when the lights are turned back on at 1am on weekend night, than Social Media but mainly Twitter (also known as X in brackets as required these days).
It’s a cesspool of hate that makes a Glasgow Old Firm derby look like high tea with cucumber sandwiches.
So much hate, driven by the owner of worst offending social media site, and delivered by the many keyboard warriors around the world, ready to deliver some of the worst of human behaviour.
Of course it’s all under free speech, which people are taking that they can be offensive
NEWS.COM.AU COMMENTERS
Just behind X users are those commenting on news.com.au articles, with their special breed of ignorance and hate.
But to summarise, everything is Albo’s fault. Everything. Or that every other generation sucks and Trump and Putin are usually great, in no particular order.
The only bonus is that if they’re online hating people, they’re not at carpark of your local shopping centre ready to key your car.
Or aiming their shopping trolley at your kids because you happen to be breathing in their direction.
Given this website’s weekly audience of less than a Londo double decker bus, we’re pretty sure we’ll get no comments here. But if we do…..
It’ll be Albo’s fault.
FIA PRESIDENT – Mohammed Ben Sulayem
Trying his hardest to make one of the most successful sports on earth every year less successful and likeable is the current FIA President, who almost seems to like the sport itself. He certai9nly doesn’t appear to like the drivers, one of the more important parts of the sport.
So this year he has told the drivers to mind their business when they asked where their fines were going. They received the same when the race director was sacked, and the subsequent replacement left a mirror on the track for long enough for it to be smashed and ruin people’s races.
Or there was his stance on driver swearing, and he explained that as this “We have to differentiate between our sport – motorsport – and rap music,” he said. “We’re not rappers, you know. They say the f-word how many times per minute? We are not on that. That’s them and we are [us].”
A whistleblower accused him of interfering in race decisions.
And last year he wanted jewelry banned.
A proper story of his work is available here from one of the best F1 websites around.
A podium of a different kind awaits him here.
PHIL ROTHFIELD
Along the same lines as someone who paid to be involved with a sport they are meant to love, but outwardly seem to hate it is Phil “Buzz” Rothfield.
Buzz, as he is not affectionately known, is a regular on TV, Radio and Newspaper putting his poisonous spin on rugby league.
His apparent feud with Gus Gould is kind of funny but also highlights just how pathetic he is.
BRISBANE 2032 OLYMPIC GAMES ORGANISING COMMITTEE SO FAR
Brisbane winning the rights to host the 2032 was an exciting moment for a lot of proud Queenslanders, and hard to think one of the world’s biggest sporting competitions in coming to Australia.
Of course we’re not talking about the Football World Cup as Australia doesn’t have enough oil.
But the progress of the 2032 has been so pathetic, it looks like barely any of the bonus infrastructure will get built, and they still haven’t settled on an actual Olympic Stadium.
The previous Labour government’s idea to host it at the former home of the 1982 Commonwealth Games by adding a few new seats in an area that struggles to handle a Little Athletics Championship, spend $1.5BN and tear down most of the upgrades afterwards is among some of the worst government decision making in Queensland history.
And let’s not forget some questionable dealing in the 1970’s and 1980’s.
Hopefully some new faces will get it back on track and make an Olympic that at least won’t embarrass us.
COST OF LIVING
The increase in the Cost of Living can kiss our arse too for 2024.
And especially the profit-hungry devils that use it as an excuse to increase prices.
Houses, Insurance, Services have all gone up and it all culminated in $6 Tim Tams, where the local version had become more expensive than the UK offering.
In a lot of cases, it is actually hidden government charges, fees and taxes that drive up the cost, and they complete the cycle by announcing Cost of Living easing measures, without addressing their contribution in the first place.
But unlike news.com.au we acknowledge it isn’t just Albo’ fault.
2024 ITSELF
All the above and more, with the world more divided than ever, costing more than ever, with the fun being taken away by technology, people seemingly unable to say anything nice, and the world so angry with itself and each other plus a severe lack of Greg Norman means that we have no choice but to nominate 2024 itself as a Jerk of the Year.
