Faster than a Max Verstappen, more expendable than a Williams driver, with less point than a pair of Saubers, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2024 Las Vegas Grand Prix Predictions and more.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Las Vegas Grand Prix Thoughts
It’s been three weeks since my last F1 preview, and there’s been plenty of momentous events from around the world with questions that needed answering. Who won the US Election? Which sporting pioneer announced their retirement? And around 1,200 more clickbait articles on where Daniel Ricciardo will be driving in 2025.
For the record the answers were Donald Trump, Australian Break Dancing legend RayGun, and Uber.
I don’t want to linger on US Politics for too long. Not that we’re not interested or don’t want to get into trouble from either sets of fans, but we know Danica Patrick is an outspoken Trump fan, and we’d rather not encourage her to join our F1 chat. Her appearance on Sky F1 is one too many, if not two too many.
Although I do wonder if Lance Stroll could be the next candidate for the Democrat leadership. His outstanding self-sabotage in Brazil was even better than the Democrats losing the recent election. I’ve watched the below video 100 times and it’s still good. But I guess he’s Canadian and wouldn’t want the job. Much like he doesn’t appear to want to be an Aston Martin driver.
Crowd chanting Drugovich’s name while Stroll beachs the car at Brazilian GP – YouTube
If you’ve seen The Wire, Lance Stroll is Ziggy. Although that didn’t end up well for either son or father. Drugs are bad.
Back to the Australians and there’s a rumour that the latest Aussie to get into F1 may not be Jack Doohan after all, as Alpine (along with Red Bull and RB – two separate teams not another stupid name) are sniffing around the rear end of Franco Colapinto for a drive with either team. (Stupid 2025 name for RB pending).
It would be very unfair on Doohan if Alpine did brush him before he made a GP start for a driver with a handful of GPs under his belt, but Flavio Briatore is involved, possibly one of F1’s most ruthless people. Not many team bosses will ask their driver to allegedly crash on purpose so the other car can win. I’m sure there’s a few Team bosses that would like to ask other team’s drivers to crash so their driver can win. But given that Felipe Massa is currently going to court with F1 over his Championship near miss in 2008, maybe the FIA will ask Alpine to avoid more court cases. As long as Alpine and everyone in it confirm they won’t say a swear word.
The Red Bull RB/Whatever link is interesting for Colapinto, but if there’s one way to limit your career it is to drive the Red Bull as Max Verstappen’s team mate. He’d only need to go over to the other side of the Williams garage. Or wait for next year when he has lost his drive to Carlos Sainz. And Sergio Perez is doing well isn’t he?
No, and our latest Staturday Night Fever piece shows his continued decline. Wasting a good seat that would be better off with almost any other raciong driver from around the world. Except Lance Stroll. And any driver sacked by Williams over the past few years.
At least if Colapinto goes to Alpine they might become interesting. He’s pretty good though and done really well considering he didn’t appear to be a superstar in F2. A bit like Jack Doohan if we’re honest. But like most of the new crop of F2 drivers, they have all been making the step up, and more of them should. Maybe there should be a relegation zone where the bottom three drivers for Championship points are forced are put in a driving playoffs against three F1 stars not yet aligned to an F1 team.
Imagine the interest for casual fans and Netflixers everywhere. Maybe they could do it with teams too. Can’t imagine Sauber would be that much quicker than an F2 car at the moment.
Not a bad idea, but not going to happen. Much like a Lance Stroll win this weekend.
Either way, a weekend of broadcasters slipping in Elvis and Gambling puns galore awaits.
But anyways, you need a little less conversation and a little more action. So here are the bold predictions for the Las Vegas Grand Prix.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2024 Las Vegas Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore Kick/Stake/Sauber at your convenience. The F1 TV Cameras do.
RED BULL
Max Verstappen battles back to fifth in the race after a poor qualifying and first lap incident. Sergio Perez misses Q3 and loses 10th with two laps to go. By the driver who will replace him at Red Bull next season.
McLAREN
Lando Norris wins to keep his title hopes alive. Piastri has a quiet one.
MERCEDES
Lewis Hamilton is out in Q1, George Russell podium. Then George Russell cops some kind of penalty that drops him off the podium.
FERRARI
Charles Leclerc leads a Ferrari 1-2 in Qualifying. Carlos Sainz is taken out by someone late in the race. Or a drain cover.
ASTON MARTIN
Stroll ends his race into some barrier. Or getting stuck between two barriers trying an Austin Powers 23 point turn after sliding off under a Safety Car. All to the chants of Colapinto! Colapinto!
RB VISA CASH APP
Liam Lawson to put Yuki Tsunoda into the wall. Maybe he will give him the finger as he drives off. There’s a real potential villain in Lawson. Perhaps, and given it is Mo-vember, he should grow one of those Dick Dastardly thin moustaches.
ALPINE
Both eliminated in Q1.
WILLIAMS
Double points.
HAAS
At least one Elvis impersonator seen in pitlane on race day.
SAUBER
To make little to no difference.
F1 2024 Season Stats
And some proper stats to ensure this is more of an F1 article.
