Our take on Queensland Election 2024 Bellwether Seats in one of the States’ least intriguing elections to date.
Not since Denver Beanland’s shock 2001 election defeat has the state produced an election bearing a load of such inane political proportions. Here are our top picks for a structural rebuild of Qld’s house of cards:
Wendy Bourne – Ipswich West (Labor)
The Bourne Legacy
Home-grown in Rosewood, Wendy has endeared herself to the local community for over 30 fruitful years. With her father, Jason, away on assignments overseas, Wendy’s childhood was characterized by marrying precocious talent with family responsibility in a time where social safety nets were simply unavailable. Wendy is proud that over 90% of her electorate now receives support payments.
Under Wendy’s stewardship, teenage incarceration rates have precipitously dropped from 49% to 47% and ambulance waiting times have fallen from 3 days to approximately 2 days, excluding weekends.
Our View: Clear green shoots are emerging in this growth corridor. With over 10 years of combined time served in State Parliament and State Penitentiaries, Wendy harnesses deep life skillsets that ensure the quality of life of her community may be occasionally enhanced and commonly somewhat preserved.
Dale Last – Burdekin (LNP)
Last Man Standing
Stiff on prostitution, and occasionally crime, Last was fast to take delight in clearing city decks of squalor and scum. Last soon became a trusted media darling on partisan news networks, showcasing a verisimilitude that rivals found hard to expose with their playbook strokes.
With inappropriate allegations surfacing, Labor’s deftly timed campaign ‘Nice Guys Finish in Last’ appeared salacious yet surmountable. But reports soon emerged that LNP Cocknoscenti had been quietly dismembering his state candidacy aspirations. His Hollywood appeal proved only a shallow veneer of a perennially hard man that could readily steel himself into robust forms.
Last was also entrusted with highwire acts of both channeling and tempering community anguish. Sporadic crocodile attacks eternally surprised constituents and placed the wider community into quiet need for convalescence.
Our View: Internal polling has suggested varied reactions to the ‘Vote Last First’ campaign, with informal voting estimated to exceed 83%.
It remains unclear whether the logic puzzle presented at the booth will help or hinder Last’s chances. We suggest this won’t be his Last Goodbye. Last has arrived, lock and step with the plight of the Burdekin.
Bianca Stone – Gaven (LNP)
No Stone Unturned
Leveraging her celebrity media career on WIN Network where a meteoric rise drew comparisons to compatriot Livio Rigano, Bianca Stone casts a lifeline to the electorate of Gaven as she attempts to course-correct 6 years of Labor ruin.
Bianca’s chief concerns result from astute observations on the ground: fewer police on the beat and hospitals putting lives at risk. Stone employs a nuanced analytical approach to governance, carefully ignoring ABS data where required in order to resonate the concerns of her electorate.
Along with her husband, Ray, you will find Bianca rolling through the Carrara streets, eager to quash the community’s inferiority complex towards the bordering mecca’s of Molendinar, Ashmore and Benowa.
Linus Patrick Power – Logan (Labor)
Power Play
In an electorate turbo-charged with soaring energy prices, Power was at the forefront in probing the moral valance and triple bottom line of the state’s energy providers. Power channeled his energies into various industry think tanks and was ultimately responsible for formulating several circuit-breaker policies enacted by a degraded Miles’ government.
Hoping for positive feedback loops in the polls, Power’s optimism was cut overnight when charges of battery emerged involving several former staffers.
Street protests howling for an immediate resignation were heard from Wolfdene in the east to Munruben in the west. Viral clips of crowds chanting “LPP, you dun’ know me” percolated through the community, marking an ebb cycle low in Power’s political aspirations.
A softer and more relatable touch was needed, and Power became a prominent face at Carols by Candlelight, even declaring his love of AC/DC in a charm offensive that resonated strongly with disaffected Bogan youth.
Our view: A necessary re-boot. Tacit backing from party powerbrokers. Quick to take charge. Power will re-emerge as a Labor leading light in an electorate deeply polarised with the undercurrent of economic dysfunction. A transformer is long overdue.
