If people are honest with themselves, no one really likes International football outside the World Cup, only the real football nerds and expectant England fans get into the continental cups, and the interruption to the regular leagues that everyone knows and loves is a genuine pain in the arse. Why should qualifying for a tournament take up to two years? That’s what the Wooden Spooners Sports Analytics team have got their collective minds together and come up with a Knockout Football World Cup.
With less international football you can spread the football league out, allow teams to take the cups seriously, or not, or even end the season early. Hopefully to coincide with a tonne of Formula 1 races. Give the players a chance to have an off season after their clubs (who complain about too much football) send their players around the world for some meaningle$$ international friendlies. Although, we are realistic that mid-season friendlies are probably not going to go away, but let’s give them more meaning.
But how does the Wooden Spooners Knockout Football World Cup work you ask? Well we’re glad you asked.
Essentially every game of the World Cup would be live. No draws allowed. One winner, one loser, move on. We love a good draw and do a weekly piece on draws when we can be bothered, but we don’t need them for a World Cup.
And everyone loves a penalty shootout, except for goalkeepers, advertisers and England fans. So why not give the fans a chance at what they want to see with every game. And with a no-draw guarantee, there’s no playing to share the points. The Knockout Football World Cup is selfish. Uncompromising. Hard. True, but fair.
The whole thing is based on FIFA World Rankings too, at a cut off designated by FIFA, and potentially able to be influenced by countries holding one of those sacks with a dollar sign on it.
So that means any international leading in the four years of a Football World Cup matters. And the better teams you beat, the higher your ranking climbs. No more qualifying groups bashing up San Marino, the Faroe Islands and Scotland.
The knockout tournament starts with one game, due to the FIFA rankings having an odd number, so that means the worst and second worst teams in the world play each other. It worked for the NRL in 2024 with Spoon Bowl, so why not the biggest sporting tournament in the world. Sorry Olympics.
From there it gets a bit complicated to reduce the teams to an eventual total of 64 teams for an express Knockout Football World Cup. It’s a bit like the FA Cup in England where the top two divisions are held back until round three.
But we worked it out below in a hopefully easy-to-read table.
The big thing is being in the top 48 to get into the sharp end of the Cup without too much effort. Much like most of European World Cup qualifying.
KNOCKOUT FOOTBALL WORLD CUP FIXTURE PLAN
Some might say that it is a ridiculous amount of games. And of course it is. But more is more when it comes to the Football World Cup. Fans can’t get enough. TV companies will pay more for more. And FIFA will need to install a bigger safe. Much like the one Scrooge McDuck swims around in. Maybe bigger. Room for swimming though.
But with more games hosting becomes harder. But that presents an opportunity. Hosts would no longer be a country, but a continent. With the role shared around every World Cup. Not just handed around a small group of countries who have enough bribe money.
It would truly then become a World Cup, as every nation eventually gets to hold a World Cup over a cycle of 10 World Cups.
So many boxes ticked. So many reasons to make the greatest sporting tournament even better.
Time for the Knockout Football World Cup.
