Faster than a Spurs defender, less reliable than a VAR decision, harder than a pack of Millwall supporters after a few pints, it’s the EPL Donkey who is back for another week with a Routemaster of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 8 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week 8 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
Ahh, the Premier League is back. Not that I haven’t enjoyed myself in the meantime. Not by watching meaningless international football that few care about, but by watching the Euros of Cricket. No game in the European Cricket Championships is meaningless. They are all good. And if you didn’t know Belgium and Norway play cricket, then you’re missing out.
The Gurgler has already talked up the European Cricket Championship big time here.
Even Greece play Cricket. Not sure if they can beat England at Cricket, but they sure can at Football.
At least the England loss means that Pep is more likely to take the England job than before, and therefore Man City will be less likely to win the title every year. Nothing against Man City, but someone else would be nice.
Taking the England manager role must be the hardest job in football. Well aside from being a steward at a Millwall game, one of those Soccer Saturday pundits up in the roof of a League Two game stadium in mid-February during a storm or the referees boss after the weekend’s fixtures. The easiest job in football is of course goalkeeping coach.
Pep taking the England job would certainly lay down a marker for greatness. If he could win a tournament with England then he would have to be one of the greatest managers of all time. It would be even better if he did it with Kalvin Phillips, the player he keeps farming out from Man City. If he couldn’t win a tournament with England he’d still be a manager of greatness who has won a sh!tload of titles.
There I go whingeing about international football only for it to ruin this week’s Premier League musings. Oh well, I’m not the only hypocrite in football. But likely to be the only hypocrite donkey in football. For now.
The EPL Donkey’s Premier League Week 8 Tips
SPURS v WEST HAM
Can Ange blow a two goal lead again? Depends on which West Ham shows up. I say the crap one.
Spurs 3 West Ham 0
MAN UTD v BRENTFORD
Man Utd have won six games in a row at home to Brentford. If Man Utd lose this one the manager will need an escort home. Or a new stadium. Brentford to score in the first minute again to really annoy the locals. Or Man Utd fans.
Manchester Utd 2 Brentford 1
IPSWICH v EVERTON
One of these teams really needs a win. I hope Everton are the most disappointed. Please.
Ipswich 5 Everton 0
NEWCASTLE v BRIGHTON
Normally Saturday 3pm games are crap. But this one should be a cracker.
Newcastle 2 Brighton 2
SOUTHAMPTON v LEICESTER
An early relegation six pointer. Or an exit for Saints manager Russell Martin.
Southampton 0 Leicester 2
FULHAM v ASTON VILLA
Another hidden gem of a game in the Saturday 3pm timeslot. Can’t get enough Adama Traore. Wolves are probably saying the same.
Fulham 2 Aston Villa 2
BOURNEMOUTH v ARSENAL
A chance for Arsenal to lead the Premier League table for a day before their rivals play on Sunday. Maybe they’ll win 3-0. Or blow a two goal lead.
Bournemouth 2 Arsenal 3
WOLVES v MAN CITY
Man City can celebrate their win over financial regulations by making Wolves season a little more miserable.
Wolves 0 Man City 6
LIVERPOOL v CHELSEA
Probably a draw.
Liverpool 2 Chelsea 2
NOTTINGHAM FOREST v CRYSTAL PALACE
Definitely a draw.
Nottingham Forest 1 Crystal Palace 1
