Faster than a Spurs defender, less reliable than a VAR decision, harder than a pack of Millwall supporters after a few pints, it’s the EPL Donkey who is back for another week with a Routemaster of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 7 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week 7 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
Another gameweek awaits this weekend before another dreaded international break. That’s two for just seven weeks of proper football.
Sure, your international football trendies, of which there are at least 143 outside of the major tournaments, will disagree saying that World Cup qualifying and Nations League are just as important as any league anywhere in the world. I disagree. International breaks are a pain in the arse.
A Nations League will always be glorified friendlies, and no name or format will ever make me think otherwise. As for World Cup qualifying, it takes way too long.
Surely there’s a better way, and there is.
The Gurgler suggested a few years ago that the World Cup should be giant knockout tournament played across the world for a few months with no need for qualifying. If you can be arsed reading it is available via this link.
That would reduce football to end of season, and every two years to allow for World Cups and Continental Cups, and that’s it.
No more bothering the leagues and games that people want to see.
Although, maybe Man Utd fans would prefer to watch England. Who could blame them.
It should be just a matter of time before they give ten Hag the boot.
That’s one of the two good things about International Breaks. One is if your team is going badly the manager is more than likely to be sacked during these International breaks. The other is the extra to evaluate just how bad the Fantasy Premier League team is.
My team has a rule of requiring three Ipswich Town players in the squad at all times. A somewhat ridiculous restriction, but one that is looking more likely to pay off than previous.
Fantasy Premier League is great. Sometimes it is the only reason I watch some games. Well, just the minis of teams I don’t care about.
That and the tipping, which is on the loose below.
The EPL Donkey’s Premier League Week 7 Tips
CRYSTAL PALACE v LIVERPOOL
Crystal Palace haven’t beaten Liverpool at home for a decade. And it will be probably be another one before they do. If they are in the same division, which isn’t a given. At the end of this season.
Crystal Palace 0 Liverpool 3
WEST HAM v IPSWICH
West Ham have too good a side to be down so far on the table. But hopefully they wait one more week before improving. Ipswich have zero wins, but are at least winning the promoted teams race.
West Ham 0 Ipswich 2
MAN CITY v FULHAM
The last time Fulham won at Man City they were probably playing by the financial rules.
Man City 2 Fulham 1
LEICESTER v BOURNEMOUTH
The Saturday 3pm game of the week.
Leicester 0 Bournemouth 0
BRENTFORD v WOLVES
The first minute should be worth watching to see if Brentford can do it again. After that, just check the score. If there is more.
Brentford 1 Wolves 0
ARSENAL v SOUTHAMPTON
A second game in a row v a promoted side, a team they haven’t lost to at home on a Saturday since 1987, and who are scoring at a goal every second game. So since they scored last week, and they never win at Arsenal on a Saturday I won’t tip them this week.
Arsenal 5 Southampton 0
EVERTON v NEWCASTLE
At least Everton have won a game now.
Everton 1 Newcastle 2
CHELSEA v NOTTINGHAM FOREST
Cole Palmer.
Chelsea 3 Nottingham Forest 1
ASTON VILLA v MAN UTD
Presuming Man Utd choke in Europe midweek to Porto and their manager Erik ten Hag is sacked and they get the new manager bounce.
Aston Villa 1 Man Utd 2
BRIGHTON v SPURS
On paper this should be Football’s equivalent of an all-in, main street Western shoot-out or Demolition derby with Caravans in a game with shots and goals a plenty.
Brighton 3 Spurs 3
