Garry has been a big Brisbane Lions fan all year. And by all year we mean from about half time in their second finals game where they pulled a magnificent victory from out their arse against the GWS Giants, because the NRL had already finished and he was looking for something else to watch.
That might be a little unfair on Garry, he’s only acting like a lot of Queenslanders do in September. League loving Queensland awaken from their AFL coma just in time to jump on the Brisbane Lions bandwagon for the first game of the finals, and more often than not, and true bandwagoners won’t even jump on the bandwagon until the second week of the finals.
What else are rugby league fans going to do now there are no Queensland NRL teams left in the finals? Although we genuinely question if the Titans made the finals that all Queenslanders would care. I mean, they are no Daikyo Dolphins. But what are these people to do otherwise? Follow the Wallabies? Pfffft. There’s always the 2024 European Cricket Championship which we highly recommend. But that won’t give you anything to do on AFL Grand Final day.
But that doesn’t make Garry any less a fan on Grand Final day. Like most he will find something else to do when Katie Perry is on. Especially given she is threatening to play at least one off the new album. The new album, like most new albums a decade after their best work (which we used advisedly in Katie Perry’s case) has been rated one of the worst in recent times.
Like most he’ll have some Lions merch. Sure, his is just the poor man’s rip off he quickly purchased from Best and Less because the even cheaper stuff on Facebook from China wouldn’t get here in time, but that’s mean he won’t love his scarf for most of the match and then store it in a bag with the other dress up stuff accumulated over the years. Like the commemorative poncho he won for eating a 2 kilo burrito at the local mexican restaurant, or the shirt of the Esk Cup that he had to buy when he jagged the trifecta some year, or the Courier Mail lift out of the 1995 Queensland Origin team.
Garry will be tuned in, and you know he’ll yell ball at the right time. And demand 50 metres penalties with little to no idea at why they are given, plus ask at least three times what a rushed behind is. After he has a little chuckle to himself about the term.
Garry has just enough knowledge about AFL to be dangerous, but is smart to know that on Grand Final that because he’s only been watching the Lions for six quarters of football, and would be unable to recall where they finished on the ladder in the regular season, and can’t recall any of the players names, that he should just stick to the basics.
So the AFL Grand Final parties and pubs days all around the nations, well ones in Queensland anyway, will have many a Garry. And just because he’s watched less than two games, can’t recall any players or relative 2024 performance, will probably throw his Lions merchandise out in a few month, won’t watch any of the lead-in stuff, and bad mouths AFL on his socials, that doesn’t make him any less of a Lions Bandwagon superfan.
