The EPL Donkey is back for another week with a Routemaster of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 6 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week 6 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
Ahhhh, another midweek lot of League Cup, where no one cares except if your team is knocked out by a lower division team, which doesn’t happen much and not enough. The end result is usually someone playing Man City in the final, although they made hard work in their most recent match against Watford.
But maybe Man City should take it seriously, as with the 115 charges against them from the Premier League, they might not be able to win anything again this season, or for many more seasons.
But with all that in the courts, and who knows how long that could take.
If the penalty means relegation, can they sort that in time for the end of the season? Or will it drag into the off season, or indeed the following season, which could be good news for the third worst Premier League team this season I guess. And there could be appeals and counter-appeals and more boring legal drama like the court parts of Law and Order. Or maybe it would be like Ally McBeal. Although, one would prefer to see Ally McCoist cast in a football style remake.
Either way, and doubtful Ally McCoist would look good in a mini skirt, there’s a much better way. And more entertaining.
The offer for Man City and the Premier League is this. A Wheel of Fortune……
The Premier League create a giant wheel a la Wheel of Fortune which has potential punishments instead of meaningless TV money amounts.
Like 10 – 100 point deductions. Or Man City must immediately release 2 – 10 players. Or instant banishment to National League. Or exclusion from Cups. Or Europe. Or nothing, as in no punishment at all. There has to be some risk v reward.
All of these are loaded onto the wheel as potential outcomes. Man City can then risk it all, and avoid the lengthy delay and huge costs for one spin of the wheel.
And of course, it could all be televised live, and potentially more money made by making it a Box Office special. Or even play it in the cinemas. Play it everywhere. All that attention and potential for earning for one spin. One spin with a huge repercussions. For all of football. So why not punish and entertain.
Or do it the boring way through the courts. I know what the punters would want.
Talking of punters, here’s this week’s expert tips and small moaning summary on each game.
The EPL Donkey’s Week 6 Premier League Tips
NEWCASTLE v MAN CITY
Newcastle haven’t beaten Man City since 2019 in the league, and it’s been L8 D2 since. Slap on another L after this weekend.
Newcastle 1 Man City 3
EVERTON v CRYSTAL PALACE
Hard to believe these teams are winless after five matches. Actually no it’s not. Crystal Palace always start slow, then sack their manager and Everton are sh!t.
Everton 1 Crystal Palace 1
ARSENAL v LEICESTER
Leicester haven’t won at Arsenal on a Saturday since 1973. So safe to say they probably won’t win in 2024. Although, it’d be very Jamie Vardy to crash the party.
Arsenal 4 Leicester 1
BRENTFORD v WEST HAM
Some people said that West Ham hiring Julen Lopetegui to be their manager would be a bad idea. But they are unbeaten away this season. Pity Brentford are 2/2 at home.
Brentford 1 West Ham 1
CHELSEA v BRIGHTON
This could be the best game of the weekend.
Chelsea 2 Brighton 2
NOTTINGHAM FOREST v FULHAM
Who’d think heading into this Gameweek 6 game these teams would be 8th and 9th with just the one loss between them. Both clubs are likeable so I’ll be a coward and tip a draw.
Nottingham Forest 1 Fulham 1
WOLVES v LIVERPOOL
Wolves have had a tough start to the season fixtures-wise. So a visit for Liverpool won’t help.
Wolves 0 Liverpool 2
IPSWICH v ASTON VILLA
Only the most hopeful, desperate-for-a-win Ipswich fan would dare tip anything other than a pantsing from Aston Villa.
Ipswich 2 Aston Villa 1
MAN UTD v SPURS
Sort of a Battle of the Managers.
Man Utd 1 Spurs 2
BOURNEMOUTH v SOUTHAMPTON
These teams don’t like each other very much. The Premier League don’t seem to either by putting this on a Monday.
Bournemouth 0 Southampton 1
