The EPL Donkey is back for another week with a double decker bus of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 3 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week 3 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
The transfer window is still open, and a bit of a shame that it continues to get more attention than the actual on-field game. A bit like every second article is about Sergio Perez and Daniel Ricciardo in F1 these days.
Although the ominous form of Manchester City gives you the feeling that a transfer window will be a welcome distraction in a few months time. Better still, a massive points deduction announcement.
But this transfer window does drag on way too long. Not just past the start of the season to almost game week 3, but basically from the end of the season in May. Over three months is too long and too boring.
So a suggestion to liven it all up. A Supermarket sweep style ran and grab.
All teams and players looking to move assemble in one place in one city for one day.
And players are assembled by position in long rows like a supermarket, and club managers pushing shopping trolleys are given just five minutes to grab as many players as they need or want. And in the case of Chelsea, all the players they can hire.
Just five minutes, and one team at a time, with each major league getting their go. Imagine the chaos and panic at being given five minutes to sort out your players. Like Chelsea, it may end up with a trolley full of stuff that is really expensive that you really don’t want.
The shortened time for picking players will also screw over player managers who will have to get their deals done in a manner of seconds not months.
And of course you can sell the TV rights to the all-day football frenzy.
But it will never happen. But it should.
And now onto the expert tips for this week.
The EPL Donkey’s Week 3 Premier League Tips
ARSENAL v BRIGHTON
A top of the table clash to open up the weekend is quite the treat. Brighton are paying $7.00 to win which seems generous. Given how Man City have started the season, only a point deduction for them will help Arsenal win the title.
Arsenal 1 Brighton 1
BRENTFORD v SOUTHAMPTON
The who cares game of the week.
Brentford 0 Southampton 0
EVERTON v BOURNEMOUTH
This game will confirm very early whether Everton are genuine busted arse relegation specials this season.
Everton 0 Bournemouth 1
IPSWICH v FULHAM
Ipswich saved energy last weekend by turning their game in a semi-opposed kick around for Man City. Smart. They will come out and smash Fulham this week.
Ipswich 3 Fulham 0
LEICESTER v ASTON VILLA
Leicester are leading the promoted teams mini league with a point. That one point is better than five other teams after two weeks. And one more than they will get this weekend. Although it would be good to see Jamie Vardy score to see his reaction for the Villa fans.
Leicester 1 Aston Villa 2
NOTTINGHAM FOREST v WOLVES
Maybe someone at Wolves should come out and say that Nottingham is sh!t, like the Chelsea player did just before his team won 6-2 and he scored three goals. Don’t know who would have that in them. Chris Wood would, being a feisty New Zealander, but since he plays for Nottingham that would be counter-productive. Maybe Chris Wood could and would call Wolverhampton sh!t even though the game is in Nottingham to guarantee goals.
Nottingham Forest 2 Wolves 0
WEST HAM v MAN CITY
Man City are a football killing machine. And will consume everything in their path. West Ham last beat Man City a decade ago. That’s not going to help. Jarrod Bowen will probably score though.
West Ham 1 Man City 4
NEWCASTLE v SPURS
This game is like a box of chocolates. And both sides could melt.
Newcastle 3 Spurs 1
CHELSEA v CRYSTAL PALACE
Crystal Palace have lost a million in a row v Chelsea. Maybe for fairness and convenience Chelsea could give Palace Raheem Sterling for the game, for free.
Chelsea 4 Crystal Palace 0
MAN UTD v LIVERPOOL
This used to be a big game. Man Utd used to be good.
Man Utd 0 Liverpool 1
