The F1 Donkey continues The Gurgler’s sporting coverage where a sharp tongue, bold predictions and a juicy carrot all meet. Before each race The F1 Donkey will provide sass and predictions, including this week’s 2024 Italian Grand Prix Predictions plus an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of F1 and beyond for another week.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Italian Grand Prix Thoughts
Off to Monza then, where the flare smoke will turn from orange to red as Ferraris are worshipped. The Monza track is exciting for other reasons too as it is the closest thing to oval racing as we get in Formula 1. Which is a bit of a shame until you actually watch a NASCAR race and realise how dull it is, and how long it goes. Not NFL long, but too long regardless. But it’s yellow flag contrived, left-turning bore-fest is perfect for Trump fans everywhere. Although, it’s ironic that they would like something that usually only has a left turn.
But regardless of our thoughts on NASCAR racing itself, we’d love to see an F1 v NASCAR v Indycar Head-to-Head on an oval. Given Max Verstappen will drive simulator games until 3am on the morning before a Grand Prix, allegedly, I’m sure he’d be up for it. Valtteri Bottas’ hair style means he’d be up for a NASCAR battle, and it might give him a chance to have a car that’s faster than someone else. Lewis Hamilton is loved by a lot of Americans, so he’d be in. Ditto Daniel Ricciardo. Although, Ricciardo would still probably be linked with the Red Bull drive mid-race. Pierre Gasly occasionally wears caps backwards, which qualifies him for interest. And since Logan Sargeant has nothing better to do, he could drive, if anyone could lend him an F1 car. But given the state he left his last one in, maybe not. But only turning left does eliminate 50% of his deficiencies, so it might work.
Most of the F1 drivers in fact would love to take on a NASCAR driver, after Kyle Larson claimed he’s a better all round driver than Max Verstappen. Quite the claim from someone who turns left for 98% of the season. Especially given Shane van Gisbergen won at his first attempt in a NASCAR on a street track, I’ll believe it when I see it.
But who knows, maybe Kyle Larson is right. Which is why we need the showdown on an oval to decide it. Not like the lame Race of Champions in a football stadium, a proper American oval.
And then maybe the return leg at Monza. Sure, it is mainly right hand turns, but the battle needs to be fair-ish.
Wait, I forgot about Indycar.
Anyways, off to the 2024 Italian Grand Prix bold predictions for each team.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2024 Italian Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore Kick/Stake/Sauber at your convenience.
RED BULL
Sergio Perez to be eliminated in Q1. Max to miss podium. Neither to be happy about either.
McLAREN
Another win for Lando Norris.
FERRARI
Charles Leclerc to send the crowd wild with a front row qualifying spot. Followed by solid points for both drivers. Although can’t rule out a Sainz tangle.
MERCEDES
Andrea Kimi Antonelli to seal his 2025 race seat with Mercedes with a FP1 effort that sees him outpace George Russell.
ASTON MARTIN
Lance Stroll to not make it past one racing lap despite a promising qualifying.
RB / VISA CARD / VCRAB / RED BULL JNR
More articles about Daniel Ricciardo. Equal to the place he will qualify in after ending his session in Q2.
HAAS
Kevin Magnussen is due to run into someone.
WILLIAMS
Alex Albon to qualify 5th. New boy Franco Colapinto to do better than Logan Sargeant.
ALPINE
Pierre Gasly to make Q3 and make a nuisance of himself among the faster cars early.
KICK / STAKE / SAUBER / ALMOST AUDI (Not Aldi)
Last and obscure.
F1 2024 Season Stats
And some proper stats to ensure this is more of an F1 article.
