It’s time for weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s angry man Buzz equivalent known only as the NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Round 25 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 25 Expert Tips and Weekly Rant
Looking back on Round 24, and you just have to say how good the footy looked in Bundaberg on Saturday, except if you’re a Dolphins supporter, which I am. But that aside, how fast was the Hammer? Almost Formula 1 like. Well he’d probably be faster than Sergio Perez. But also it was great to see rugby league being played in a regional hub. And there should be more of it. Lots more.
That’s why I am calling for the NRL in 2025 to force every team to take a game to the regions and or rurals. Yes that includes everyone, looking at you Broncos. And no, that doesn’t include the Las Vegas junket. Las Vegas is hardly regional or Australia. And neither is the Las Vegas of the West Rooty Hill RSL. Well it is Australian but not regional. Twin Towns isn’t either before you ask. Not sure if entertainment royalty Wikkety Wak are regional or rural these days, but they don’t count either.
Imagine the boom, or is it boon? Not sure. It’s certainly not David Boon. For the Regional centres that is. Although a David Boon in Regional centres would certainly help the local hotel and RSLs.
And before the smart arses tell me they already play in Regional centres, in between bagging referees and RayGun on Twitter (formerly known as X) we mean every team takes one home game somewhere else. Imagine, 17 games a season played in Regional Australia, how good.
And if Regional Queensland was good enough during Covid why isn’t it good enough now. The Courier Mail will probably blame the ALP.
For the Warriors it would be great to expand the popularity to another part of New Zealand. We like the sound of Bay of Plenty. Not for the game, just the name, and can imagine someone doing something naughty and being politely asked to stop by Police in that TV Show Police Ten-7.
Elsewhere, Melbourne could take a game to a Queensland regional town where they would receive more attention than usual (unless they make the Grand Final).
There’s a bunch of NSW that are crying out for a game that don’t currently get one too. You can’t tell me Grafton, Yass and Armidale don’t deserve more rugby league. Byron Bay probably don’t deserve it because the influencers would hate rugby league. They’re too busy pouting at various cameras. Yamba would be a far better option. Maybe Manly could do it. They’d probably lose as it’s away from home.
One game each isn’t asking too much, the Queensland Cup do an entire Country week where they attack Regional rugby league and rural rugby league and all teams plays in all parts of Queensland over one whole round. But of course they might be able to afford that as the local crowds would be about the same size as a Cowboys/Titans away game v most Sydney clubs but still. But should be about giving back to rugby league after taking so much.
But coming back to the original point, Bundaberg was great, and we’re sure the Distillery got quite the workout. As it should, at the home of Canecutters Cordial.
Talking of mind-altering intoxicants, it’s always refreshing to see a White Powder scandal in the NRL, and the various things people suggest that white powder could be. Even better is the media hinting that the person taking the footage is worse than the player who could be allegedly taking nothing in particular. It is a defence I shall be using next time I’m booked for doing 310 km/h over the Gateway Bridge in my 2021 Haas F1 car that I bought. I’ll blame the person taking my photo in court to hopefully get away with it.
Much like Stephen Crichton’s nose getting bitten was his own fault for having a nose. But Flanno Junior didn’t get away with despite a fair hearing, lawyers and an entire Media company behind him.
Talking about getting away, like the Westpac ad, it’s time to give myself a dollar to shut up and handover the expert tips for Round 25.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 25 Expert Tips
WESTS TIGERS v MANLY
Few people would be break dancing at the thought of a Tigers v Manly clash opening up the weekend. I know the draw is done before the season starts, but it would be highly unlikely this game would have been good then either. The Tigers do have a surprisingly good record v Manly at Leichhardt, so maybe an upset would make this interesting. As long as the Tigers can avoid one of their players going to the sin bin, which will be hard.
Tigers by 4
WAHS v BULLDOGS
It’s a different season when the Bulldogs are the feelgood story. A real premiership dark horse, or dog right now.
Bulldogs by 10
BRISBANE v PARRAMATTA
Channel Nein have the Broncos back where they belong. On a Friday night at Suncorp Stadium. Pity the Broncos are busted arse chances of finals. The Eels are going worse which isn’t saying much. Parramatta need to avoid a worse result than the Wests Tigers to avoid a spoon. As ever Xavier Willison aka The Beast is the man/mountain to watch.
Broncos by 8
CANBERRA v PENRITH
The main thing these teams are playing for is how mad they can make Ricky Stuart.
Penrith by 16
MELBOURNE v DOLPHINS
They say Dolphins are one of the few animals to have sexual relations for pleasure. So they must be enjoying f—ing their season up.
Storm by 20
SOUTH SYDNEY V NEWCASTLE
A good indication of your season going badly is losing to the Wests Tigers
Newcastle by 8
GOLD COAST v ROOSTERS
Since the Roosters are used to playing in really wet conditions, why not play this one on the beach for good fun. I guess that would be plain silly. Like tipping the Titans.
Titans by 1
DARGONS v CRONULLA
The Dragons return to WIN Stadium which means another win surely according to the name. If that’s the case, Cronulla played at Pull-That-Out-Of-Their-Arse Stadium last weekend. Another reason to death ride the Dragons other than a strong dislike for their coach is that a loss gives the Dolphins a better chance of making the eight. Cronulla haven’t lost a Sunday game this year.
Cronulla by 4
