It’s time for weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s angry man Buzz equivalent known only as the NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Round 24 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 24 Expert Tips and Weekly Rant
What to talk about for this week’s NRL Donkey preview? More strange decisions made by the Bunker? Na, plenty of weeks left for them to get worse. The Broncos revival? Na. The epic showdown between the two leading clubs this decade to kick start Round 24? Don’t be ridiculous.
How about Break Dancing? Or Biting? How about giving it the Old El Paso treatment and attack both. Although I do wonder if there ever was or is a New El Paso.
First of all, Break Dancing at the Olympics was excellent. Anyone who says differently only watched one particular person on social media. And like news.com.au articles used one person’s tweet to generate a story. Overall it was truly excellent and a refreshing change from the usual Olympic events. Which I also like. Except for the Pommel Horse, that’s the worst of all the equestrian events. Except for Dressage.
Secondly, the treatment of Australian break dancing star RayGun has been totally unfair. Mostly by people jealous that they will never represent any nation at any Olympics.
It was a great routine, showcasing a lot of good about Australia, unlike the proposed Brisbane 2032 Olympics which due to election promises will be held in a Harvey Norman carpark.
Everyone always think they can do better, which is why Twitter (also called X and always close by to brackets) was created. For a bunch of bitter, hateful people bagging people for doing stuff.
I’m standing by RayGun, as someone needs to stand up for someone having a go. And giving the Olympics the rock it needed.
If the NRL are smart, and one of them is, the rest aren’t but most organisations have disappointments, usually the CEO, they should book RayGun now for the Grand Final entertainment.
Of course alongside the every-second-year mandatory inclusion of someone either associated with Cold Chisel, or Cold Chisel themselves. It is their 50th birthday after all. As long as they play Shipping Steel. If not, I’ll ask for my money back from Channel Nein.
Then there’s the biting, which of course came ironically in the Bulldogs game but wasn’t by a Bulldogs player. Not the kind of ironic like rain on wedding days or too many spoons, you know things that aren’t actually ironic. I guess songs can say whatever they want. Was Sharona really his? And was everyone actually Kung Fu fighting? Questions for the off season, and/or the background music for end of season player trips to Bali.
One has to wonder on the scale of 1 to Todd Carney for rugby league stupidity, given there’s cameras literally aiming at everything on the ground, just so The Bunker can still get things wrong if slow motion up to a 1/3200th of a second, why would a player bite another player?
Of course it’s no surprise that the Fox League crew rushed to the defence of a Dragons players, especially one with a last name of Flanagan. The Fox League journos Trump-like worship of “Flanno” shouldn’t surprise, given the word Fox in their employer’s title, but to push theories of Stephen Crichton being to blame for this is more absurd than insisting that anyone likes Buzz Rothfield. Actually, I don’t think they do. How could they. He is one step of evolution away from a Stonefish.
Saying he pushed his face and nose into Kyle Flanagan and that should be punished is pure Fox. Both Sports, Writers and News. If that’s the case then they should be pushing for penalties every time that happens in a game. So they will be happy when 150 penalties are awarded every game and it turns into NFL. Maybe that’s what they want?
Maybe Fox League don’t anything related to Penrith past, future or present. Maybe they hate Gus Gould. Or maybe like Fox News they are so far up Donald Flanagan’s rear end that they can only smell not see.
Either way, I’m surprised that they haven’t suggested Stephen Crichton is into nasophilia. If that’s a thing. If not blame Wikipedia.
Maybe the NRL are happy that a case involving a nose isn’t one using a white powder for a change.
Maybe I should just concentrate on the actual game itself. Or more break dancing. Or both. Unlike New El Paso, which I’m sure only allows one thing at a time.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 24 Expert Tips
PENRITH v MELBOURNE
For once the NRL or Channel Nein have got the TV Scheduling right. Overlooking the obsession with Parramatta and going with two teams likely to finish in the top four for the first game of the weekend instead of the usual dross of the Eels, Rabbitohs or another team even less likely to finish in the top eight – Wests Tigers. Fancy that. And it should be a quality game with both teams getting back close to full strength after being a bit XXXX Gold the past few months during Origin. Note: full strength doesn’t imply that the full strength XXXX is good, far from it. But after Penrith’s exciting win over Parramatta last weekend, and Melbourne being, well Melbourne-like this is a clash to look forward to.
Penrith by 8
MANLY v WAHS
This looks a relatively straight forward in a week that feels relatively straight forward. Manly have won 7/8 at Brookvale this season, while the Warriors have won two of ten away games this season.
Manly by 10
ROOSTERS v PARRAMATTA
Somehow Parramatta snatched defeat from the jaws of victory last weekend against Penrith, sealed with a C Grade Friday Chook Run shank from Clint Gutherson for a late, score-equalling penalty kick. It’s just a team who aren’t sure how to win. That won’t help when you consider that the Roosters have won nine games straight at home v Parramatta and the Eels have won just one away game all season, and none in Australia.
Roosters by 20
BULLDOGS v DOLPHINS
Grab the Canecutters cordial as it’s time for Bundaberg’s annual showpiece between the Bulldogs and Dolphins. Bulldogs are unstoppable at home, even though this isn’t home officially it is on paper and so who am I to argue. There should be 100% less biting in this game, but you just never know when Bundy Rum is involved. People get punchy, fighty, and maybe bitey. Dolphins need to keep winning to make the finals, and after casting just one eye over this game it has to be the Dolphins.
Dolphins by 2
NORTH QUEENSLAND v CANBERRA
Canberra players will probably be glad to leave Canberra for the weekend, and not just because of the weather. The Cowboys have snuck under the radar, not the weather one, with the second best haul of competition points since Round 11. With finals on the line Cowboys coach Todd Payten won’t dare to add a second facial expression, nor us to tip against his team.
Cowboys by 4
WESTS TIGERS v SOUTH SYDNEY
If the Wests Tigers lose this game they will equal Souths’ record for most games spent at the bottom of the ladder in 2024. After checking the ladder, there’s no way the Tigers can move off last even if they win, unless this is a secret five point game introduced by Peter V’landys at short notice to spice up the last rounds of the season.
Tigers by 6
ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA v GOLD COAST
One imagines that playing at a home ground called Win Stadium will lead the Dragons to victory this weekend. That also means that the Titans played at Pisspoor Effort Stadium last weekend.
Dargons by 18
CRONULLA v NEWCASTLE
I’ve run out of stream so this is the who cares game of the week.
Cronulla by 8
