It’s time for weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s angry man Buzz equivalent known only as the NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Round 21 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 21 Expert Tips and Weekly Rant
Thank god State of Origin is over. That’s not just because this Queensland based donkey is disappointed in the result, although I am not beyond a decent petulant sulk when I feel like, although I’ll stop from going full Eeyore, but the obsession of State of Origin is suffocating. Except in Melbourne.
But to be a little bit or a lot hypocritical, here are the final thoughts.
Nothing good comes in fours…..
- The Four Points Queensland scored were not good enough.
- There were no Four Pointers from Queensland.
- XXXX Gold is one Australia’s worst beers.
- XXXX Bitter is worse than XXXX Gold.
- Four times a season we have no choice but to watch Channel Nein.
- Felise Kaufusi ran for four metres in Game Three. He ran further to get into the scuffle. Cameron Murray’s 30 metre run to get involved is seven and a half times further than Kaufusi’s on field effort. In fact, Cameron Murray’s walk from the bench to the dressing room after being sent to the sin bin was longer
Not to pick on good old Felise, because there’s a lot of love for him as a Dolphin fan, but his Origin effort was the Formula 1 equivalent of Logan Sargeant driving two laps and retiring for no reason. Although, that might actually save his Williams F1 team some money given his crash record this season.
But it isn’t Felise’s fault at all, it’s the coach for picking him to run on in the first place. For all the We’re Queenslanders talk, Billy did make changes, but sadly not many were good. There’s a fine line between coaching genius and being a plain old Freddy. Any side that starts with three bench players is a good sign you’ve picked the wrong side. Any starting side that has K. Capewell named you’ve picked the wrong side. Not that Captain Plod was that bad. But he certainly wasn’t that good. As brave as the Queenslanders were in defence, they could have put all 17 players on at once and probably still not scored. Maybe it would get too squashed, or maybe a few extra players could give Reece Walsh more places to hide. Behind Felise Kaufusi should do, he ain’t going far. Billy can always go back to commentating on Origins.
Before this Origin rant is done and dusted may I say Channel Nein suck and as a homage to your Westpac ad, I’ll give you several dollars to shut up. Although, that Gus Gould part of that ad is very funny, and I dare say a highlight of the coverage, along with the moment the remote is grabbed to switch over to Planet America on the ABC. Which leads me to ask, is Billy Slater the Joe Biden of rugby league? I wonder who the Trump would be then. Probably the Bunker, neither of them can see the truth.
But before we leave the Trump-Biden arena, how refreshing to see Hulk Hogan in full cry at the festival of Trump. If the NRL are the forward thinkers they think they are, they should already be on a plane heading for wherever Hulk is tearing up singlets right now. If that performance doesn’t scream “Face of NRL in Las Vegas” I don’t know what would. Obviously not Jarryd Hayne, nor Captain Charger. But imagine him out the front of one of the Casinos ripping NRL jersey after NRL jersey off. The scraps to be auctioned for auction.
But enough Origin for now and for 2024. Good on NSW, better luck next year Queenslanders. Time to get back to an NRL with all the players and all the games. About bloody time.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 21 Expert Tips
WAHS v TIGERS
Anyone tipping the Tigers for the rest of the season get what they deserve.
Warriors by 20
PARRAMATTA v MELBOURNE
Now that Mitchel Moses has played his two best games for the season, and neither of them for the Eels, we can just about write them off for the season too. Good to see that the NRL has the Eels straight after the Tigers just in case the Tigers win for the battle of the spoon. As for Melbourne, they are some kind of machine. Like the T2 bad guy robot. Only difference is the human in that organisation is the scariest thing – Craig Bellamy.
Melbourne by 18
BRISBANE v BULLDOGS
People will say that Adam Reynolds return was the big difference to getting the Broncos season back on track after a 0% win score over the Origin period. But I know best. The reason for victory was the security of knowing that the big unit Xavier “The Beast” Willison was on the bench ready to tear up the Knights. And he’ll do it again. The Bulldogs are enjoying a second game in a row in Queensland. Perhaps they are the grey nomads of the NRL moving north for winter. If they are this kick off will be perfect as it will allow them to have dinner at 5:30pm.
Brisbane by 8
NORTH QLD v CRONULLA
The Cowboys remain incredibly tough to tip, winning when you think they won’t, losing when you think they won’t. So this week I think they will win.
Cronulla by 12
ROOSTERS v MANLY
A repeat of the 2013 NRL Grand Final. And I care about it as much now as then.
Roosters by 18
DRAGONS v PENRITH
The Dragons and all Fox League employees will be keen on the Dragons chances for a rare season double over Penrith. Nathan Cleary is the reality. And this time he’s bringing all his Origin mates along.
Penrith by 40
DOLPHINS v GOLD COAST
The Dolphins may be on a Win 2 – Loss 5 run, but they have been thereabouts, losing in golden point to Penrith underlines their competitiveness if not the results. And there’s one thing you can be certain about, that Ray Stone hates not getting the results the team deserves. He had his best game in a while v Penrith and looks ready to serve up some more rock. Gold Coast also have never beaten the Dolphins, but are playing well if you haven’t seen the score from last weekend.
Dolphins by 6
CANBERRA v SOUTH SYDNEY
The Sunday 6:15pm timeslot usually ensure the worst game of the weekend, and so here is Canberra v South Sydney. There’s a few reasons to pick either side. There’s also more reasons to settle in and watch something else. The Formula 2 on a Sunday evening is a good watch. Or the final round of the Senior British Open which will hopefully be won by Miguel Angle Jiminez. Dancing With The Stars will not be better so better off sticking with the NRL.
Draw
