Desperate to keep the Indian Test series alive, the England cricket team have called in a surprise new coach.
Controversial ‘journalist’ and professional muppet Piers Morgan has been flown to Ranchi to prepare for the fourth Tests (which starts Friday).
Morgan has been hired as ‘Chief Motivational Specialist’.
“Piers has shown he’s not only a strident backer of the England team, but a loyal disciple of Bazball. While proper cricket journalists are saying we’re making fools of ourselves, Piers never listens to that rubbish. His ultra-positive attitude is exactly what we need to turn this series around. He still thinks we won the Ashes – you can’t fault that type of pig-headed optimism,” said an England player, who wished to remain anonymous.
“After his motivational talks, he’s going to show Alex Carey’s clearly illegal stumping of poor old Johnny Bairstow to get everyone fired up.”
The Everyday News Staff Writers were going to get the Indian team’s reaction, but the players were too busy laughing at England’s desperation.
