Self-funded retirees and Baby Boomers Gary and Denise have a lot of simple pleasures on life – numerous cups of tea, Sky News, Courier Mail, and drives to nowhere in particular. But their lives are now complete as Baby Boomers as they have passed the Rite of Passage with a new purchase.
Of course being slightly stuck up, conservative self-funded retirees that purchase had to be one of those white metal garden table and chair you see in so many front yards these days. A sign of prosperity within the Baby Boomer community.
The white metal garden table and chair set is the new symbol that you’ve made it in later life. Somewhere to sip on your third cup of tea at 9am, fresh from a solid morning of endless breakfast TV loops on both FTA and Sky News.
That morning sit sipping tea is used for a rare discussion about where the day’s drive is going to head to. Esk, Wynnum, Gatton, or just a quiet picnic table on the side of a rural road where the trees are plentiful.
Once arrived at the daily location, there’s no chat. Never chat. Just a pre-arranged splitting of the sections of the Courier Mail, and always a tartan flask full of tea.
For a treat, Gary and Denise occasionally bring a bikkie or two. No Kingstons or fancy Monte Carlos here, just the bland sameness of a Milk Coffee biscuit, and if the wild side takes over on one of the daily trips to Woolworths for three items, a packet of Nice.
As the trees gently sway in the breeze, Gary and Denise look at them and each other with a nod. They love just staring at the trees.
In the silence of the car drive home, there’s no chat. Never chat. Just the conservative chatter of AM talkback radio, and the anticipation of that next cup of tea on their white garden table and chairs.
Once home and seated, it is time for some conversation, which usually turns to complaining about having too much money and why it is such a burden. Or picking on any other generation struggling to get all the basics in life that the Baby Boomers got, and blaming the younger people’s woes on Avocados and a myriad of things Sky News tell them to blame.
On a good day, conversation can also turn to Franking Credits, why the ALP will ruin the country and give away too much money to poor people, and of course any boring day in wouldn’t be complete without some discussion on Superannuation. But Super being as boring as it is, the silence returns.
Later on, dinner is done and dusted by 5:30pm, mainly so Gary and Denise can sneak in one more sunset cup of tea at their new garden table and chairs, but with enough time to race inside for the nightly run of Sky News after dark. And with a bare minimum of chat, so they have their full attention on Sky News, and the reasons why every other generation is at fault for everything.
Of course there’s no timestamp on this story, as it was be repeated nearly every day, as those trees won’t stare at themselves. And all with very little chat. Never chat.
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
