While the discourse around Australia Day deserves to be taken seriously, one ‘proud and extreme Aussie’ has jumped to its defence.
Known as ‘Aussie John’, he unleashed a long, passionate rant on Facebook about why Australia Day should be cherished.
He argued that Australia has “been overtaken by woke, latte-drinking princesses more worried about looking good on the TikTok and pretending to be Yanks than doing an honest hard day’s work” (ignoring the fact that ‘Aussie John’ doesn’t have a current employer on his Facebook profile), and “the best way to celebrate Australia Day is to get absolutely f***-eyed on VB, wrap yourself in our wonderful flag, and sing along to Chisel and the Oils at a barbie. And anyone who hate our special days obviously wasn’t born here and should piss off back bloody India or wherever.” The post got over 200 ‘angry reacts’, 100 ‘crying reacts’ and 50 ‘shocked reacts’, with only 20 ‘likes’.
A further look at his profile suggests that our mate is the kind of Aussie Yobbo who died out 40 years ago, with a lot of his posts borderline racist. The most recent post was of his old Kingswood, complete with brand new ‘F*** off We’re Full’ stickers on the rear window.
Everyday News Staff Writers considered messaging ‘Aussie John’, but they had better things to do, like actually respecting people who have a valid argument why Australia Day isn’t a celebration for everyone on its current date.
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of The Betoota Advocate. We swear.
