April 24, 2025, 6:50 pm

EVERYDAY NEWS – The TikTok Ban

A frustrated mother of two teenagers has decided to ban TikTok in her house.

Kate’s two children, Brian (13) and Sarah (15), have spent most of the school holidays watching TikTok, and she’s finally had enough.

“The kids can do whatever they want during the holidays, but they watch bloody TikTok from the time they get up to when they go to sleep! It’s ridiculous!” said Kate.

“I wouldn’t mind if they were doing anything else – playing video games, watching movies or TV, reading, even watching YouTube – but TikTok is the most annoying waste of time! The videos are loud, repetitive, full of frustrating extroverts who talk too fast, and they hammer the same handful of shitty pop songs over and over. I work from home and I have to turn up my podcasts louder to drown that garbage out!”

Not surprisingly, Kate’s decision to ban TikTok was met with resistance by the two teenagers, locking themselves in their rooms and blaring TikTok even louder.

Embed from Getty Images

Kate discussed her dilemma with her husband Barry, and he had a solution. He suggested that he buy Brian and Sarah a cheap pair of Bluetooth headphones each so they can listen to TikTok in peace.

“I’d prefer them to not watch TikTok as much, but this will have to do. They’ll be back at school in a few weeks and I’ll have peace and quiet again,” said Kate. “Maybe some crazy zillionaire will buy TikTok and run it into the ground like Elon Musk did with Twitter?”

Brian and Sarah were happy with the compromise, coming out of their rooms, grabbing the headphones, and continuing to watch TikTok.

Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of The Betoota Advocate. We swear.

 

 

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