A local introvert had survived a very ‘peoply’ Christmas.
After two blissfully quiet Christmases with her parents, Sarah was ‘required’ to attend the first extended family Christmas Day since 2019.
“My housemates and I had breakfast and swapped gifts this morning, so I made sure to drag that out. I wanted to arrive late enough to the party to avoid unnecessary small talk before lunch,” said Sarah via Facebook Messenger. “The lunch was beautiful though: turkey, ham, pork, and tons of roast veggies. I even packed some leftovers.”
After lunch, Sarah switched between watching a fluffy Christmas film and joining the huge game of backyard cricket.
“When people started getting too noisy during the film I switched to the cricket, and then returned to the movie once I had a bat and a field. That killed a few hours.”
But Sarah’s social battery started running low about 4pm; that’s when the irritability kicked in.
“There was one group passionately debating something or over and another group watching TikTok videos at the highest possible volume. In my head I was screaming at everyone to ‘shut the f*** up!””
Fed up with the party, Sarah drove to a local park for a 30-minute run.
“It was just what I needed – not only was I buzzing off the runners high, but the quiet park was beautiful. Thankfully Mum and Dad understood why I needed to get out of party.”
Feeling better, Sarah said a quick hello to her housemates (who understand her need for alone time), had a shower, then grabbed the leftovers, a bottle of wine, and settled down to binge Criminal Minds: Evolution in her room.
”A perfect end to a big day. Thank God Christmas is only once a year.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of The Betoota Advocate. We swear.
