By now some of the world have caught up with the news that Argentina beat France on penalties to win the 2022 Qatar World Cup, and almost as many have questioned what the f*** was the World Cup Final Lionel Messi Robe thingy that he was wearing on the podium.
It was one of the three big post-match questions…is Messi going to retire? Why won’;t Gianni Infantino piss off from the podium, and what the f*** was the World Cup Final Lionel Messi Robe thingy that he was wearing on the podium.
The Wooden Spooners team always pride themselves of making a much bigger detail out of things than is truly warranted, so the team return for their exclusive insight in to what the F*** was the see-through robe.
WORLD CUP FINAL LIONEL MESSI ROBE DEBUTS AS FIFA SEEK NEW TRADITION FOR ADDITIONAL REVENUE STREAM
Not content with record profits and a successful World Cup, the governing body that put the organised into football tournament organisers have come up with having the winning captain wear the traditional clothing of the host nation on the presentation podium.
Much like one of those Commonwealth Heads of Government Conferences where the Prime Ministers and Presidents dress up in some awful, unflattering clothing, FIFA used Lionel Messi and the 2022 World Cup winning presentation to debut this new tradition, which was a surprise to most, especially the Argentine captain who looked as confused as the rest of us.
But of course it all makes sense when the Wooden Spooners discovered that replicas of the robe that Lionel Messi wore will be available via the FIFA website for just 45 Euros. Payments via secure Swiss Bank transfer of course.
NEW WORLD CUP TRADITIONAL DRESS THROUGH TIME
The Wooden Spooners wondered what would have happen, or what might happen if we apply the same addition of traditional clothing to previous and future World Cup finals.
Below are the best re-imagining of the winning presentations.
2026 WORLD CUP IN MEXICO, USA, CANADA
Nothing says stereo type and mildly offensive like a cheap sombrero for the winners of the 2026 World Cup in North America. The additional moustache there to offend a little more.
Note: we are guessing England will win the 2026 World Cup, as we had to take the Euors semi final win photo as stock footage, as they haven’t won a World Cup in the colour photo era.
Note: the smile on Harry Kane’s face is natural and not photo shopped. As hard as that is to believe.
2018 WORLD CUP IN RUSSIA
While it is easy to predict in the future what will happen with FIFA’s new toy, so the Wooden Spooners team are going back through the archive to see how the new fashion would have destroyed previous World Cup podiums.
So not only would France’s Hugo Lloris have to dress up, but he’d also have to do a bit of cossack dancing on stage.
2014 WORLD CUP IN BRAZIL
Nothing says Brazil like the Rio Carnival, so why not use that to dress up the winning German skipper form 2014.
Not many in football can pull off the big head rest and bikini combo, but Bastian Schweinsteiger sure could in this blast from the past.
2006 WORLD CUP IN GERMANY
Raise your glass to the 2006 winners, and our re-imaging of the Italian winning side of 2016.
2002 WORLD CUP IN JAPAN AND SOUTH KOREA
We didn’t want to go any further through laziness and not wanting to offend any further,
But you must admit the Kimono does add some something to the celebrations, despite the terrible photo shop work.
