An avid video gamer has found an unusual job in the gaming industry: he’s paid to be bad at mobile games.
“You know those horrible ads where some idiot horribly fails at a simple game to entice people to download them? Well, I’m that idiot,” said Peter.
While Peter was a regular in the ESports circuit a few years ago, he loves the challenges of his new job.
“The pressures of ESports wore me down. Like any professional athlete, you constantly need to prove yourself, but there’s a lot less pressure in this new career,” said Peter. “I’m officially a ‘Freelance Video Game Tester’ and mobile companies pay me shitloads to stink at the simplest games. There’s only a handful of game styles, and most companies pump out cynical copies of these over and over again.”
While Peter originally felt conflicted by these greedy game companies using manipulative advertising to get downloads, he soon made peace with it.
“My job isn’t to tell people to play the game. My job is to demonstrate the game. Most of them get boring after a few minutes, so who cares? As long as I get paid, then I’m sweet.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
