While the NRL off-season is barely a fortnight old (not counting the Rugby League World Cup), Fox League are already preparing for 2023.
The focus: how to stitch up The (Redcliffe/Moreton Bay/Greater Brisbane) Dolphins.
Fox League Staff Writers have been locked in a three-day workshop devoted to destroying the expansion club.
“The first morning focused on how to string the ‘Dolphins in Crisis’ narrative out as far as possible when they lose their first game,” said one anonymous Staff Writer.
Other creative angles include:
– A Dad’s Army poster with the oldest Dolphins players Photoshopped in.
– An five-part expose about Wayne Bennett being too old to coach in the NRL and why Shane Flanagan should immediately replace him.
– A special three-hour version of NRL360 when The Dolphins inevitability lose to the Wests Tigers.
– A series of articles on why The Dolphins should move to Perth in 2024 and/or merge with the Tigers.
– And, when the Dolphins finish with the wooden spoon, an unflattering comparison between them and the 1995 South Queensland Crushers and 1995 North Queensland Cowboys.
When one brave Everyday News Staff Writer asked why Fox League wanted to death ride The Dolphins so badly, they were met with a disinterested shrug.
“I got no idea. We just do what we’re told. Anyone who disobeys has to give Buzz a sponge bath*. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Not even Paul Kent!” said the anonymous Staff Writer.
* Everyday News apologises for the horrifying mental image we just created. To compensate, here’s a cute puppy.
