A park cricketer’s blind date has ended in disaster.
Peter Collins (a wicketkeeper for the Belconnen Bulls fourth grade side) was set up with Kate Chapman (who works in marketing and enjoys playing social tennis in her spare time) by a work friend. Things looked promising after a few text exchanges saw them schedule a Friday night date, but it quickly went south.
”I knew he played a bit of cricket, but I had no idea how much of a cricket tragic he was!” said Kate.
After some trivial small talk, Kate made the mistake of talking about her sprained ankle from tennis earlier this year. This opened the floodgates, with Peter recounting every break and sprain from 15 years of Sub-District cricket with the Bulls.
”He was particularly proud of his gross fingers, which have been mashed from years of wicketkeeping. His middle fingers are at right angles! I nearly lost my dinner over that!” said Kate. “And then he told me – in graphic detail – how he broke his left hand playing in the first grade final in 2010 but still took five catches as they won the premiership!”
The final straw came when Peter launched into a rant about how the Indian Premier League is destroying Test cricket.
”I like cricket in small doses, but this guy was ridiculous. Thankfully he left first as he had to ‘mentally prepare’ for tomorrow’s game. I love my tennis, but I know it’s a bit of a laugh and a fun way to keep fit. Old mate’s a f*****g park cricketer, but you’d think he played for Australia the way he carried on!”
It wasn’t a completely wasted night, as Kate went straight to her girlfriend’s place. After venting about her horrible date, they watched 500 Days of Summer over numerous glasses of wine.
The Gurgler presents stories of the Park Cricketer, where we explore the lower reaches of the great game of cricket from the suburban ovals to the rural grounds across Australia.
