In shocking news, an anonymous NRL club has enjoyed a safe and incident-free Mad Monday.
After narrowly missing the finals, the team in question wasn’t in the mood for a massive celebration, so they had a ‘beer, pizza, and video game’ night at the head coaches house (which was big enough to host the entire first grade squad).
“We had a pretty good 2022, despite missing the finals. We have high hopes for an even better ’23, so we didn’t want to risk that for the sake of a big night on the piss,” said one player.
“We thought about inviting some ‘adult entertainment’, but our coach said no as the misso would kill him! So we just got on the piss and played Mario Kart and Mario Party for a few hours. Everyone had fun and nobody punched anyone.”
As per usual, Fox Sports had some poor shitkicking intern camped across the street, hoping to capture any hijinks, but there was nothing there.
“The coach went out to pour some empty cans into the recycling bin, but that was it,” said the intern. “Not even Buzz could spin a scandal from that! I ended up reading the first 100 pages of the latest Matthew Reilly book while I waited. So that was fun.”
