It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 23 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 23 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and most are completely made up, but we’ll let you decide which ones are. Any issues please contact L. Hutz or our Legal team, and for any coaching vacancies please contact the Fox League team.
NRL ROUND 23 RESULTS HEADLINES
DEATH THREATS FOR RABBITOHS WINGER JAXSON PAULO PROVES SOME LEAGUE FANS LEARNED NOTHING FROM RECENT SAD EVENTS IN RUGBY LEAGUE AND THEY ARE MORONS
The Souths-Penrith game on Thursday night was a great game, a window into what could be a classic finals series, and the Rabbitohs could have beaten Penrith if they took their chances.
Some of those chances were not taken by Souths winger Jaxson Paulo, who had a poor night at crucial times.
But then we find out that he was the subject of death threats for the performance.
Really? It wasn’t long ago the rugby league was mourning the loss of Paul Green, then some balloon-head does this. The result didn’t really matter as the weekend’s other results prove that Souths were unlikely to get higher than fifth by season’s end anyway, but are assured of finals.
In lighter news, the person in question has been contacted by rugby league’s greatest peddlers of hate (Fox League/Fox Sports) for potential future work.
RIVAL TOP EIGHT TEAMS COMPLAIN ABOUT MELBOURNE STORM HAVING TWO HOME GROUNDS
With the top eight and four race heating up at the sharp end of the season, some feloow top eight sides are complaining that the Melbourne Storm have an unfair advantage – no it isn’t boat related – it is that no other team in the competition have the luxury of two home grounds.
With a better record at Suncorp Stadium than the actual home team, the Storm are almost as comfortable at Lang Park than the Broncos. And they certainly were plenty more comfortable than the Broncos on Friday night as the home side head for the season record for missed tackles.
Well, at least the Grand Final isn’t going to be at Suncorp Stadium then.
WOODEN SPOONERS CONFIRM THAT JUSTIN OLAM IS MADE UP OF AT LEAST 50% CONCRETE
After yet another starring performance for the Melbourne Storm the Wooden Spooners managed to conduct some tests on Justin Olam post match.
The popular PNG International is one of rugby league’s toughest competitors, in attack and defence. But we wonder how he is able to dish out so much punishment without ever being affected.
We’re surprised Covid was brave enough to go anywhere close enough to Olam to infect him.
After Olam generously gave the Wooden Spooners five minutes of his time, the Wooden Spooners medical research team ran some tests and can confirm that Justin Olam is in fact made up of 50% concrete. Where most humans bones are made up of calcium and other things we’re not smart enough to know, Olam’s bones are made up on top grade concrete.
This would explain his ferocious defence, and his equally punishing attack.
NRL TO CONSIDER RELEGATION AFTER ROUND 23 RESULTS
Round 23 produced a bunch of one sided results, and most of them involved a top eight team charging towards the finals, and the other team out of finals contention looking to Bali or better.
Well, except for the Broncos, lord knows why they were so terrible.
But what is the punishment for teams that appear to have given up for the season? Nothing. A wooden spoon. Who cares. Aside from fans of the other teams playing like shit who avoid the dreaded award.
In Football all around the world, the worst performed for the season are not only handed the wooden spoon, but are frog marched out of the division. Some never return.
The Wooden Spooners as ever have their ear to their ground, and we have it on good authority that the NRL are considering relegation for the future of the NRL.
Without going into a great amount of detail, our NRL spy informed us that the promoted team would be the winner of the State Championship, providing extra spice into that game, and setting up the million dollar match like in the English Super League and European Football.
Things like having two sides from the same club are yet to be worked out, which is a problem more for the NSW teams than Queensland, Or if the second tier sides would be compeditive, Although we’re pretty sure some of the second tier sides would not finish last in the NRL. But what spice it adds for teams who currently have nothing to play for suddenly having their NRL survival to play for.
WOODEN SPOONERS UNFAIR QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Q: Should the NRL just give top eight teams playing bottom eight teams that can’t make the finals a bye to save themselves for the finals.
A: Yes.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
We’ve run the Fox League obsession over getting Shane Flanagan a new coaching gig this season, white-anting every available coach that was struggling.
Not that it was funny to begin with, but it’s less funny now. So hat’s it for the season, and let’s hope the remaining NRL Coaches are left alone for a few weeks by the relentless beast that is Fox League and Shane Flanagan.
