It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 22 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 22 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
NRL ROUND 22 RESULTS HEADLINES
NRL INTEGRITY COMMISSION LOOKING TO SPEAK WITH MYSTERY THIRD INDIVIDUAL IN KALYN PONG-A TOILET INCIDENT
Not for the first time the talk of the rugby league world in Australia involved a player or players in a public toilet.
This time it involved Origin 3 hero Kalyn Ponga, and his team mate Kurt Mann getting kicked out after being caught in a toilet together.
Whilst there are many different theories on what happened, most of them them involving drugs, no one is quite sure.
Although breaking news on Tuesday was that both players were to be drug tested.
But of course the Wooden Spooners team have an exclusive for their Round 22 Results Headlines – as we can confirm the NRL Integrity Commission is looking into the third character that walked out of the toilet with them in exclusive photos only we have the right to.
The other character is not a rugby league player, but is said to be a toilet expert, and perhaps holds the key to the mystery.
KALYN PONGA’S DAD CONFIRMS STONE’S GREEN GINGER WIN IS THE WORST DRINK IN THE WORLD AFTER HIS SON’S SESSION ON THE GREEN DEATH LEADS TO PUBLIC POWERSPEW EPISODE IN PUB
Another theory on the Kalyn Ponga incident also came via another exclusive photo obtained by the Wooden Spooners.
We have been told the image floating around the media is in fact a cleaned up version, and we have the original copy.
As you can see above the original photo shows many, many bottles of Stone’s Green Ginger Wine on the floor of the toilet, and anyone familiar with the awful, awful taste and smell of Stone’s Ginger Wine will not be surprised that Kalyn Ponga spent a lot of time in a toilet if the number of bottles on the floor can be believed.
COREY NORMAN’S PLAY SCHOOL AUDITION DOESN’T GO WELL
What it is with NRL players and arses?
While the rugby league world and extended community ask themselves why a rugby league player would stick their finger into the ringhole of an opponent, again, and think they can get away with it despite numerous TV cameras, the Wooden Spooners can reveal the real truth.
Corey Norman, who is nearing the end of his career, is actually looking to the future with a new career in mind – children’s entertainment.
Very few outside of the Norman circle and Wooden Spooners know that he was actually preparing for an upcoming audition for ABC’s infamous Play School show.
Word at the ground was that Corey Norman’s finger was a complete misunderstanding, as he was practicing his version of Hokey Pokey for the audition.
FOX LEAGUE’S JAMES HOOPER SEEN WITH MONSTER ALCOHOL DELIVERY READY FOR WESTS TIGERS WOODEN SPOON CELEBRATION
Artist’s Impression
There were more happy people than just at the Gold Coast on Sunday as the Titans beat Manly in the upset of the round, and possibly one of the bigger head scratching results of the season.
The Titans win meant that the Wests Tigers dropped to last place and we have it on good authority that there were a few happy people at Fox League.
In fact our spy near the Fox League HQ spied regular Tiger basher Hooper, and his mate who didn’t end up getting the Tigers coaching job despite consistent white-anting by Fox League bringing in many, many boxes of high grade alcohol in readiness for the end of Round 25 and confirmation that the club they seem to hate finishes last.
AH, SOME THINGS HAVE RETURNED TO NORMAL – BULLDOGS WERE TERRIBLE, WARRIORS ARE PLAYING IN NEW ZEALAND AGAIN, AND THE WARRIORS HAVE ANOTHER JERSEY
We don’t begrudge the Warriors winning at home, no team in the NRL has deserved it more, but they do tend to have a lot of jerseys.
DAVID FIFITA CURRENTLY AVERAGING $1 MILLION PER GOOD GAME FOR THE TITANS
Highly paid David Fifita hasn’t had a great season for the Gold Coast, but as our unfair headline points out above, he has now. We can’t recall a better game from him this season, or any good games this season, hence the nasty headline.
WOODEN SPOONERS UNFAIR QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Q: Should anyone care what an NRL player does in a toilet.
A: Yes. Always.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan in the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With the news that the Wests Tigers are going back to the future with Tim Sheens and Benji Marshall, this means the year-long campaign to shove Shane Flanagan in as the Tigers coach is over.
Flanagan is running out of clubs, but that won’t stop the Fox League machine.
Two weeks ago it was a Dragon, last week it is a Knight. This week it could be anything.
So we offer up some artist impressions on both.
