It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 20 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 20 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
NRL ROUND 20 RESULTS HEADLINES
THANK F–K THAT GAME IS OVER SAYS 90% OF NEUTRAL NRL FANS
Sadly once again the NRL made the news for all the wrong reasons with the Rainbow stripes on the Manly jersey. In a poll of Gurgler readers this weekend 90% of rugby league fans said they were glad the game was over and didn’t care who won. 10% of the respondents told us to f—k ourselves. Which was slightly more pleasant than the whole Manly jersey saga.
CRAIG BELLAMY GOES TO INCREDIBLE LENGTHS FOR A FULLBACK AFTER LATEST INJURY
Melbourne Storm have had a bad run of injuries this season, and they are running out of fullbacks. The Wooden Spooners Melbourne rugby correspondent obtained the exclusive footage of the lengths that the Storm coach has gone to for a number one.
PARRAMATTA’S PLAN TO WIN 2022 PREMIERSHIP IS TO FINISH FOURTH
Given that Parramatta are the only team to beat Penrith more than once on their incredible run since the start of 2020, Parramatta brains trust have devised the perfect plan to win this season’s title – finish fourth so they play Parramatta in the first week of the finals. Wooden Spooners have learned that trainers will be required to carry calculators in latter rounds in case for and against becomes an issue in the tight top eight race.
NRL LOOKS TO CELEBRITY HAIRDRESSER STEFAN FOR GRADING ADVICE ON JAYDN SU’A HAIR PULL OF LUCIANO LEILUA
An unsavoury incident from the Dragons-Cowboys clash was Jaydn Su’A attempting to slow down Luciano Leilua by pulling his substantial ponytail.
Whilst the assault was penalised on field, the NRL were unable to decide what to do with the incident for further punishment.
According to the Wooden Spooners sources, the NRL secretly hired celebrity hairdresser Stefan to provide his expert hair knowledge.
Stefan alerted the NRL to how much salon effort would be required to return the hair to its fullest glory, and the NRL are considering the expert opinion and will notify Su’a on Tuesday of their verdict.
NRL THINKING OF HAVING PENALTY SHOOTOUTS INSTEAD OF GOLDEN POINT AFTER SHARKS v RABBITOHS MATCH
The Sharks-Rabbitohs game was an exciting golden point thriller as they call it in the business, with Nicho Hynes finally nailing a field goal to win the vital match.
But ever the thinking man of feathers, aka Peter V’landys, and trying to cash in on the very popular Premier League and World Cup Football in Qatar later in the year, he has thought of introducing a goal kicking penalty shootout to replace golden point.
The secret plans replicate the football version with five kicks followed by sudden death. The only variation is that the ball starts in the middle of the field on the 20 metre line and moves further out then further back with each subsequent attempt.
NEWS LTD REALLY DO HATE THE TIGERS
Unable to let go of the fact that the Tigers are now no longer the mathematical worst team in the competition, they assigned them second last and last as per the image above. Reports of a James Hooper lookalike figures walking away from the editing suite at News Ltd has been denied by the cleaner who had just started their shift.
WOODEN SPOONERS UNFAIR QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Q: Is David Fifita the new Dane Carlaw?
A: Yes, and No.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan in the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With the news that the Wests Tigers are going back to the future with Tim Sheens and Benji Marshall, this means the year-long campaign to shove Shane Flanagan in as the Tigers coach is over.
Flanagan is running out of clubs, but that won’t stop the Fox League machine.
Two weeks ago it was a Dragon, last week it is a Knight. This week it could be anything.
So we offer up some artist impressions on both.
