An NRL WAG’s attempt to cause drama at her husband’s club has fallen flat.
Attempting to promote her new ‘Wellness vitamins’ and ‘Fitspo app’, Breyannaia Thompson tried creating a fake rift between her husband and his coach, hoping to piggyback off the scandal-hungry footy media.
Unfortunately, her husband plays for a ‘glamorous’ Sydney club (with Everyday News choosing to keep the player and club anonymous) and is playing good footy, so the scandal died quickly.
Even serial crank Buzz Rothfield dumped the so-called scandal when it reached the Fox League desk. “This story makes Paul Kent’s first grade career look credible. Fair dinkum. I know for a fact that [PLAYER NAME REDACTED] and his [COACH NAME REDACTED] love sharing a beer at the local pub that my minions spy at before every Team List Tuesday, so there’s nothing there. Both [PLAYER NAME REDACTED] and his [COACH NAME REDACTED] are focused on winning a premiership, and [CLUB NAME REDACTED] is one of the NRL’s darlings, so no pissy little rumour will stop that.”
A furious Breyannaia has demanded her husband move to a struggling Sydney club that easily attracts scandalous headlines, like the Wests Tigers or Canterbury-Bankstown. But she drew the line at Canberra or Newcastle, as she needed to stay in the Sydney ‘celebrity’ circles.
In a surprising twist [PLAYER NAME REDACTED] walked out on poor old Breyannaia, moving in with his teammates so he could better focus on winning the premiership.
”SO TYPICAL! That d***head cares more about his career and reputation than helping me launch my businesses! Good riddance! Now I’ll have to resort to promoting it myself via social media,” said Breyannaia. “Or maybe I’ll dump it all and go on The Real Housewives of Sydney or Big Brother?”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
