It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL NRL Round 12 Results & Headlines.
Yes it’s been a few weeks since our last Headlines, but it doesn’t mean there wasn’t anything noteworthy, just laziness from us. And anything we half wrote is being used here.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 12 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
RUMOURS THAT PAYNE HAAS ALSO ASKED FOR A ROCKET CAR FIRES UP BRONCOS FANS
The big rugby league news heading into the weekend was Payne Haas seeking an immediate release from the Broncos in the days leading up to their M1 derby clash with the Titans.
Broncos fans greeted his first and subsequent hit-ups with a rousing round of boos.
We have been informed by one Broncos cheer squad insider that the fans were annoyed of Haas’ demands about leaving the club, with good riddance being bandied about, but the final straw was reports that after numerous pay rises and being looked after the club, Haas and his management were seeking a Simpsons style Rocket Car in addition to salary demands.
PLAYER WHO HAS CARRIED TEAM THROUGH THEIR WORST EVER PERIOD OVER TWO SEASONS PREFERS TO LEAVE WHEN HIS TEAM START WINNING AND LOOK LIKE GENUINE TOP EIGHT CONTENDERS TO GET A LITTLE MORE CASH FROM ANOTHER CLUB IN A POSITION THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY EARNS THAT KIND OF MONEY DESPITE HIS CURRENT CLUB LOOKING AFTER HIM SEVERAL TIMES WITH CONTRACTS AND STANDING BY HIM WITH OFF FIELD MISBEHAVIOUR AND LOOKING LIKE AN UNGRATEFUL JERK WHICH OF COURSE ALL OF THIS HAPPENS AFTER A CHANGE OF MANAGEMENT
Refer above.
HEAD OF RUGBY LEAGUE FOR CHANNEL NEIN SEEN CARRYING A CARTON OF CROWN LAGER UNDER EACH ARM HEADNG FOR BRONCOS DRESSING ROOM AFTER RECENT SUCCESS
Outside of Kevin Walters, die hard Broncos fans that booooooooooooo Payne Haas and Buck the Horse who runs around the stadium, Channel Nein are the most pleased about the Brisbane Broncos recent turnaround in form.
Having settled on a “Cram the Broncos down everyone’s throat” strategy decades ago, Channel Nein have been most disappointed with the last few seasons of busted arse Broncos playing sh!t rugby league and getting flogged after giving up.
But with the Broncos winning a pile of games in a row, all on Thursday and Friday of course, Channel Nein execs have been rubbing their hands together at the bonanza that is Friday night advertising dollars.
Sadly, last week it was announced that one Brisbane advertisement institution location was closing. Archerfield International Speedway is being closed in another sad moment of progress. One wonders what the thousands of people that have been told to “Be There. Seven O’Clock, This Saturday night” will not do on Saturday nights after dutifully following instructions. This is unrelated to the original Channel Nein story, but we have nowhere else to place this bit and it isn’t strong enough for its own article.
80% OF FANS SAY THE NRL BUNKER IS A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT THAT THEY MAY AS WELL GET RID OF. 100% OF GRAHAM ANNESLEY DISAGREES
The NRL Bunker has never been popular, nor has it been an accurate game changer for the NRL. It’s value for money is hovering around Coalition pork barrel carparks and Clive Palmer election ad campaign. Although the NRL Bunker has more than one seat to show for its million dollar spend.
But despite the above, NRL spokesperson Graham Annesley continues to defend The Bunker and the decisions made. No matter how poor they are or how much they infuriate most league fans.
When approached by the Wooden Spooners about the Bunker, Annesley assured us that The Bunker is great and was looking forward to it ruining at least one aspect of the upcoming Origin series.
ROY AND HG’S SUGGESTION OF A SECOND AND THIRD NRL BUNKER WITH AN SUPREME BUNKER BEING REPORTEDLY CONSIDERED BY THE NRL
Further on from the lack of popularity of The Bunker, the NRL are considering more changes to The Bunker. And inspired by an unlikely source.
On the most recent episode of Bludging on the Blindside, Roy and HG suggested there should be a second Bunker above the first one that the first Bunker could refer to. The second would then also have a third to rely on. Overseeing all three is a supreme Bunker to make final decision if necessary.
Going with more is more, and refusing to admit The Bunker is a piece of shit and an expensive waste of time, the NRL are reportedly considering the ABC Radio’s duo suggestion.
It’s news to a man playing Peter V’landys in our writing office. The man called Dave playing the NRL powerbroker was surprised when we told him about Roy and HG’s suggestion.
“Bloody hell, I can’t fix everything in rugba leeg. The Bunker is a pain in the arse but I haven’t got to it yet.”
CAMERON MUNSTER’S PERFORMANCE AGAINST MANLY IS BEST EFFORT BY A PERSON WITH AN AWFUL BLEACHED HAIRDO SINCE WESLEY SNIPES IN DEMOLITION MAN
It’s a fact in sporting life, that a bleached blond hair-do usually leads to and results and shit performances from sporting stars.
And after the Storm’s loss to the Cowboys the round before, it’s hard to argue.
But Munster put on a great show for Melbourne on Thursday night, and was really the difference
According to a quick poll on our socials on the Thursday night, Munster’s effort was voted the best by a person with a new bleached blond hairdo with 45% of the vote. Second in the voting was Wesley Snipes’ hair from the action movie Demolition Man from the 1990’s, which is a great watch, with 33% of the vote.
15 NRL TEAMS CAN’T WAIT FOR ORIGIN PERIOD AS IT APPEARS TO BE THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SLOW PENRITH DOWN FOR A BIT
There was much anticipation about last Friday’s early clash between Penrith and North Queensland, arguably or not the two most in-form teams in the NRL heading into last weekend.
Thankfully because neither team started with “B” and ended with “risbane Broncos” the match wasn’t subjected to a prime timeslot. Which is a shame for those who have to rely on Channel Nein.
In the end the game was more of a continued demonstration at how good the Panthers are, even when they’re not at their very best.
But other teams are rubbing their hands, as Penrith dropped games last season around Origin and this currently looks like the only hope of beating them.
The Bulldogs get first crack this weekend.
Not forgetting that the Wests Tigers beat Penrith at this time last year sans Origin players. Needless to say that Fox League’s James Hooper would have been pushing Michael Maguire out stories back then too.
JOSH ADDO-CARR FINDS OUT THAT MISSING OUT ON ORIGIN IS ANOTHER DOWNSIDE TO JOINING A TEAM THAT LOSES ALL THE TIME
Josh Addo-Carr, previously and still known as The Fox, knew there would be a downside to returning to Sydney to play for a team who have finished the last few seasons towards or on the bottom of the ladder, but he probably didn’t think he’d miss out on the NSW Blues side for Origin 1. Fair enough as Daniel Tupou isn’t a player that Queensland will fear more than The Fox.
We guess all he can do is score a heap of tries with his current side, starting this weekend. Starting with the Bulldogs trip to Penrith. Easy then. Maybe rely on an injury then?
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan returning to the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for. Or anyone who may be competition or ahead of his son Kyle Flanagan.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
It’s been a few weeks since our last Shane Flanagan Coach-O-Meter update, and there’s been a sacking at the Bulldogs and Flanagan didn’t get the gig. Maybe he didn’t want it. He seems keen on the Tigers, along with all of his Fox League buddies, who constantly bash Michael Maguire and claim club insiders are going to get rid.
